Jackson studies me for a few seconds. His eyes trailing over every inch of my face before finding mine again.
“I think that you deserve to live a life where you’re not looking over your shoulder every day, waiting for him to come out of hiding. I think you deserve happiness wherever and with whoever, without being tied to him.” He reaches out and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “I think that if doing this gives you hope and strength to make your lifeyours…then I got your back.”
My cheeks flush once more and I can feel the color spread down my neck at his words. The way he’s talking almost sounds like he’s doing it fully formeand not out of obligation to his friendship with my brother.
And that makes the damn spark drop and turn to flutters in my stomach.
His tongue darts out, wetting his lips and drawing my attention to them. The urge to lean in and kiss him washes over me like a wave on the beach. It’s sudden, catching me by surprise and it takes more effort than it should to not give into the impulse.
It was never this hard to control my attraction in the past. So the fact that it’s hitting me so hard, especially when I’m supposed to be healing, still technically married, and considering everything that just happened tonight, leaves me in unknown territory.
Reluctantly, I turn back to Thea and Alan, just as my brother asks me a question.
“It’s up to you, Kat. Whatcha wanna do?”
I shove away inappropriate thoughts of Jackson and focus back on them.
“I want this to be over.”
Alan nods, but stays silent while I turn to Thea.
“You really think Addison can help?”
“Yes.” She answers without hesitation, and I suck in a deep breath.
“Then let’s do it.”
19
Jackson
The bags fall to the counter with a heavy thud, my keys clashing somewhere beneath them. Running a hand through my hair, I sigh heavily, exhaustion weighing on me.
Volunteering at the VA in the city once a week is something I have been doing since returning from my second deployment. Adjusting back to anormalroutine was more difficult than I expected. Originally, one of my squad buddies dragged me with him, claiming his car was broken and he needed a ride. Instead of waiting in the car where I would be wasting gas to keep cool, I followed him in for the free air conditioning.
Being around people who understood what was going through my mind, without ever saying a word, was like taking a breath of fresh air. One that I didn’t know I needed at the time.
Molly used to give me a hard time for going, claiming that I’d barely spent any time with her, after spending months with the guys, as if we went on vacation.
Maybe that should have been my first sign for where our relationship was heading, but sometimes red flags are often disguised by white lies and distractions.
Now, I make sure I can get there once a week. Being around the men and women at the VA is so much more than she could ever know. Some days, it’s not even about what I need, but more of how my presence can help someone else. I retired with my share of physical and mental scars, but it was the veterans at the center who helped me cope and heal. If I can manage to pass on a fraction of the help and support I’ve received, I would count it as a success.
Even still, some days are harder than others. They sneak up when I least expect it and not even a two mile run can pull me out of my head.
The day after the fourth of July, Kat sat down with Alan and Thea to video call Addison. Four days later, the divorce papers were served. Alan went back to the city the same day and since then it’s been quiet. The papers had been left with Zack’s father, so now it’s the waiting game to see what he does.
Fourteen days of nothing.
It’s not that Iwanther ex-husband to crawl out of his hole and cause Kat more stress. But I know how uneasy the silence makes her.
My gut churns, the need to make sure Kat is okay takes over.
Since she’s not in the living room, I head toward the open back door, and slide the screen open. I’m about to call out for her when I hear voices from below the deck. For a second, I think that Thea decided to come over. Until I hear a male groan.
Any lingering worry for what will happen is effectively wiped from my mind.
My heart rate spikes and I gravitate toward her.
