To keep my mind off it all, I curled back up in my freshly changed bed and lazily sketched some of my favorite things from memory.
A Cedar Waxwing perched on a juniper branch, with a berry in its beak.
The way raindrops cling to pine boughs after a cold, autumnal shower.
That smudged shadow just beneath Charlie’s cheekbone.
I drew that one a lot.
I could excuse my newly reinvigorated libido as a series of lifestyle changes and the time that’d passed since my flare-up—even if the last few days hadn’t exactly been stress-free. What I couldn’t ignore, though, was the tidal wave ofCharlie Charlie Charliemy thoughts had become since I returned to the lookout.
As if the floodgates had flung open, he was nearly all I could think about.
I wanted his name vindicated, wiped clean from the mouths that had slandered him for so long.
I wanted to find the one who’d hurt him, who’d killed him. I wanted to punish them, to make them feel the decades of pain and loneliness he’d felt.
I wanted to protect him and shield him from any additional hurt.
Even more, I wanted him to smile again, every day. I wanted him to laugh and jest and tease me. I wanted to be on the losing end of his quick wit and watch his eyes go soft with words he wasn’t ready to say just yet.
I wanted him to see every movie, read every book, and listen to every song he’d missed. I wanted him to have the park ranger job he’d moved here for, or anything else he decided he wanted. I’d fight and claw through whatever obstacle presented itself to give it to him.
What I wanted most, though, so much my soul burned with it, had been hidden in plain sight for far longer than I realized. Maybe even since that first conversation, when he’d asked if he could warm himself next to my fire.
I wanted Charlie to be alive, and I’d do just about anything to make it so.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
The storm wailed its last breath a few days later, leaving behind dirt-crusted, melting ice and a skating rink on the deck.
“I fucking hate scraping snow,” I growled, unlacing my boots and kicking them off by the door. “Especially when it’s nothing but a sheet of ice. I get all worked up and sweaty, hot as hell under my coat, but my hands freeze.”
Charlie glared at me. “Then why did you go do it by yourself?”
“I had to clear a path to the stairs.”
He rolled his eyes. “I’ve already saved you from falling off that deck once; it was rude to make me do it again.”
“I didn’t fall.I slipped, that’s all.”
“Which would’ve led tofallinghad I not shown up right when I did. You should’ve waited for me, I told you I’d be back this morning.”
I raised an eyebrow, sliding into my Crocs. “I had to take a shit. What else was I supposed to do? Squat over the wash basin?”
He spewed the warm tea he’d just gulped down, some of it coming out of his nose. “You’re an animal,” he choked out, coughing.
I winked at him, sauntering closer. “You like it.”
“I should’ve pushed you over instead of saving you,” he grumbled, crossing his arms.
Ok, so maybe it wasn’t smart to antagonize the guy who’d stopped me from sliding into the railing asecondtime that summer, but he was so cute when teased, I couldn’t help myself.
“You’d miss me too much. And my mustache,” I said lowly, leaning down into his space just a touch more than strictly necessary.
My flirting skills may have been rusty, but it hadn’t taken much to warm up. I couldn’t really help myself where Charlie was concerned, which should’ve bothered me more than it did.
Honestly, I didn’t care. I just wanted to see…There it is.
