Thank you for being my friend and for making me feel human again.
Jaw clenched, my eyes welled up. “I don’t know if you’re still here,” I said out loud, throat scratchy. “But you don’t have to thank me for anything, because you’ve made me feel human again, too. You’ve made me laugh and remember what it feels like to look forward to things. I’m making you roasted chicken with crispy skin and peach cobbler when I get back. And it’s your birthday dinner, so you’d better not stand me up.”
The silence after weighed heavily. With a sigh, I readied to depart.
An hour later, I squeezed into the back of the helicopter with my trash and recyclables and watched as Dead Man’s Lookout grew smaller and smaller the farther away we flew. Just before itdisappeared from view, I swore I saw a flash of movement—like someone stood at the window, keeping watch.
I thought of the message I’d left behind, scrawled in big, bold letters along the bottom of Charlie’s note.
I’M COMING BACK
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Dad stood at the edge of the tarmac when we landed, arms crossed and face grim. He pulled me into a fierce hug the second I was far enough away from the helicopter blades, eyes blazing. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I am.”
And I was. I mean, exhausted, sure, but in the harsh light of day, with the image of Charlie holding his face in his hands haunting me every time I closed my eyes, I wasn’t afraid anymore.
I was angry.
Angry I hadn’t listened to him and caused this mess.
Angry I’d sat in fear for hours instead of confronting the person who’d taken so many lives. Who, if my gut feeling was correct, had takenCharlie’slife.
Angry all of this had been pinned on an innocent man whose laugh was far too bright to belong to a killer or a dead man.
Angry he thought it was better to say goodbye rather than risk my safety.
Most of all, though, I was angry he was dead at all.
“Come on inside,” Leonard hollered over Dad’s shoulder. He and Tate stood just outside the back entrance of the ranger station, waving us over.
“Are you sure you’re up for this?” Dad asked as we headed their way. “You look upset. I’m sure Officer Morris will understand if you need to rest first.”
The vein in my forehead throbbed. “I was treed like a fucking mountain cat last night. Yes, I’m upset. And no, I don’t want to do this, but what choice is there? Let’s get it over with so I can get to the grocery store to resupply.”
His steps faltered. “You’re going back?”
Dad had never pushed me into a decision. Becoming a Boy Scout was my choice, even though he was a troop leader. I’d decided to study Forestry in college because he shared his love for trees and the importance of protecting and managing public land with me; he’d never forced me into a career path of his choosing.
Maybe it was a holdout from trying to counterbalance Mom, but he’d always let me come to decisions on my own.
I could tell it was a struggle for him now, though.
“I am,” I said firmly. We’d made it to where Tate and Leonard waited, so I directed my words at them all. “Please don’t try to talk me out of going back. I won’t let some creepy fuck keep me away. I feel…goodat the lookout. It feels right to be there.”
It shocked me to find that, despite my utter exhaustion and simmering anger over the night before, it was entirely true—I felt good. How long had it been since I’d thought about my health, or diagnosis, or fears for the future? Days? Maybe longer?
The lookout was good for me.Charliewas good for me, and I needed to go back as quickly as possible.
Dad studied my face before his forehead smoothed. Could he also sense the truth in my words? “You’ll need to be in contactwith someone every day. I can’t go longer than that without knowing you’re safe.”
Leonard gaped at him. “Are you serious? You chewed my ass off for assigning him to that tower, and now you’re fine with it?” He turned toward me, eyes pleading. “Reece, please, it’s not worth it. I’ll find work for you here at the station so you can stay in town.”
“It’s not about finding work,” I said, agitated. “I want to be there. Ineedto be there. I finally feel—” I cut myself off.
Alive. I finally feel alive again.
