“It is, though. At least some of it.” His eyes were far away, as if remembering things he’d avoided for many years. “I wondered, back then. Before the lookout—beforeCharlie—went missing. I found a few traps on the trails Leonard and I hiked together. I knew they were his favorite spots to go when he wanted to be alone.”
His voice grew angry. “I confronted him about it. Our job was to protect nature and the wildlife in it. How could he do such a thing? Especially with something so cruel?”
“What did he say?”
“He denied they were his. He was having a hard time with Joan. They weren’t married yet, but they were fighting. She wanted him to commit, he said he wasn’t ready. He told me he’d been outside more because he needed to let off steam, that’s all. He said he’d never seen them before in his life.”
“Why did you keep them?” I asked. “Why not turn them in?”
Dad sighed heavily. “Those crimes are reported to the Forest Service. I’d have turned him into him.Plus, what if I was wrong? He’d lose his job if he were cited for something like that, and thefines aren’t cheap. Then Charlie went missing. They didn’t tell us much, but they stopped requesting the use of the helicopter. The searches ended. The hikers weren’t labeled as missing persons anymore; they were officially declared deceased. Clearly, they believed they knew who’d murdered them, and it wasn’t Leonard. The killingsstopped, Reece,” he repeated, as if pleading for me to understand. “And I never knew the traps were related to the murders. At worst, I thought he was selling hides he poached on the black market. If I had known…”
He shook his head. “So I held on to them. I think a part of me always wondered, even if I didn’t want to believe they were his.”
I thought about my absolute refusal to accept that Bobby was a murderer. “I understand,” I said.
It wasn’t for me to forgive him; those were his wounds to mend, his actions to reflect upon. But I didn’t hold it against him. It wasn’t natural to assume the absolute worst of the people we cared about.
We stood in the quiet, listening to the forest all around.
“I’m happy for you,” Dad said after a while. “That you found Charlie. I don’t understand how it’s possible he’s here, or what happened that night, but I know he saved you. I know he loves you.”
I smiled. “I don’t understand any of it, either. He was there, at the lookout, when I arrived. Scared the shit out of me. But we got to know each other, and,” I shrugged. “I’ve never felt more at peace than when I’m with him.”
Dad chuckled. “Only you would find someone all alone up in a fire lookout tower. Are you packed and ready to go back?”
“Yeah, we both are. We’ll hit the grocery store this afternoon and drop everything off at the ranger station. Looks like Angie is taking over for Leonard, at least for now.”
Leonard had been her direct supervisor, and she’d called me a few days ago to ask if I was open to resuming my lookout dutiesonce I healed. She’d apologized for even asking, but was having a difficult time filling posts after everything that’d happened.
I’d asked Charlie, and he was happy to go. Excited, even, now that the danger was over. It would be good for us to have some time before we decided what to do next.
Plus, all my shit was still out there.
“You’re not hiking out on your leg, are you?” Dad asked.
“No,” I said, relieved. “There will be room in the helicopter for us both.”
“Good. Angie already did half of Leonard’s job for him, anyway, I’m sure she’ll shine. And I know things are better, now, but if you need anything?—”
“You’re only a phone call away,” I finished.
He gave me another one of those familiar hugs. “Always will be.”
Returning to the lookout felt like a dream.
When the tower first came into view, I nearly told the pilot to turn around and fly us back to Ponderosa. I was afraid of discovering we really were living in that gray place all along, and I’d only imagined the colorful life we’d fought for.
Upon landing, though, we were greeted by a beautiful, sunny sky, birdsong, and the rustling trees.
And of course, Charlie stood right next to me, happily chatting away with the helicopter pilot—who had no idea who he was—while we unloaded our supplies.
A few people had stared a little too long while we grocery shopped, but I wasn’t sure if they were focused on me or him.
Word had spread I wasalmostone of Leonard’s victims, and it was funny how so many flocked to form search parties and hold candlelit vigils for the tragically murdered, but skirted around those left alive like they were cursed.
Charlie received a few double-takes, but who would actually believe he wastheCharles Randolph, and not someone who shared an unfortunate resemblance?
The divers never found any of the others.
