“So, was it good for you, too?” Finn could tell that Jaime’s question was meant to be cheeky, but his voice came out softer, smaller.
Propping his head up so they could really see each other, Finn said, “Earth shatteringly good. Being inside of you and feeling you come on my cock…” he shuddered. “Every time we are together, I think I can’t possibly experience more pleasure than that, and yet, every time, I feel made new by you.”
Jaime hummed in agreement, tucking his nose into the soft bend in Finn’s arm. “We’ve got plenty of time to reach that peak.”
Finn traced the freckled constellations across Jaime’s nose and cheeks, scattered along the curve of his ear, and down his shoulders as the deepest sense of peace he’d ever known settled inside him.
“We have forever, if you want it?”
Finn heard the hope in his voice, the achingly tender love and devastating vulnerability offered in those words.
And when Jaime placed a hand on Finn’s heart, all of it was reflected back at him, shining so bright. “Forever. I want it.”
They wereboth exhausted from their emotional morning, the long drive, and their marathon sex, but it wasn’t late enough yet to go to bed. So, they laid there in each other’s arms, feet tangled in the sheets, and spoke of everything and nothing—filling in the details of things only briefly shared before they were split apart a year prior.
Finn told Jaime about his childhood; how he never knew his father, and that his mother’s disdain and slaps had made himhide his wolf from her as best he could, but that the time he’d spent with Silas’s family taught him to embrace the wildness inside of him. He told Jaime about following Silas into the military, and how grateful he was for the chance to fully be himself for the first time in his life with people who accepted him, but that he still grappled with the things they had seen and done. Finn told Jaime about his deep resentment for those in power, who had found two young shifters trying to find their place in the world and had used them for their own gain, before spitting them back out at their lowest.
Jaime told Finn about losing his mom to cancer when he was eight, and about his father’s drunken indifference after she passed and how Sam took care of him and moved them both out of Anchorage to a small apartment in Monroe right when he’d turned eighteen. He talked about how losing their childhood dog, Alfie, had prompted him to start painting pet memorials.
Softly, he told Finn about how much he wanted to be able to do that again, someday.
Tentatively, Jaime asked him about losing Renner. He explained that it had been their last mission, how Renner and Sheppard had split up from Finn and Silas, both pairs tasked with different objectives, but something had gone horribly wrong. Finn explained that Sheppard hadn’t ever fully talked about what had happened, but the three of them were discharged immediately afterwards. They were all put in therapy and then released into the civilian world again, where they joined Sheppard at the security firm.
Finn shuffled further into Jaime’s embrace, carding his talons through his hair. “Are you ok? I mean, after seeing Sam, and after the attack and everything?”
He ran the pad of his thumb lightly over the faint scratch mark on Jaime’s neck. He knew it was a stupid question—ofcourse Jaime wasn’t ok. The entire course of his life was all thrown off the rails, and that fight this morning had been awful.
Jaime shrugged his shoulders. “Yes and no. I feel better, after finally telling Sam how I feel. How much his absence has hurt. How much I wish that all the other stuff hadn’t gotten in the way. And I feel safer with you, and Silas and Sheppard, than I have for the last year.”
Jaime sighed. “But the trial is less than a week away. I’m still so afraid that I’ll get up on the stand and freeze. I’m afraid that all of this is going to come boiling up at the exact wrong time and I’ll fall apart in front of everyone. I’m afraid that I won’t be able to do this, for Vera. I couldn’t do anything for her, before. I should at least be able to do this, now.”
Finn wrapped his arms around Jaime’s shoulders, holding him close and pressing his words into his hair. “You are so strong, Jaime. I have no doubt that you’ll get through it. But even if you don’t, even if you need help, there’s strength in that too. And I will always be here. You are never too much for me.”
Jaime sighed, and buried into Finn’s hold. “Thank you.”
Finn knew it didn’t fix Jaime’s pain, or set aside his fear. But it would be the honor of his life to stand beside him as he battled those things for himself.
Just as he was thinking it was time to head downstairs and feed the fire, maybe start dinner, Jaime asked another question. “If none of this had happened—Vera’s murder, Sam hiring you all… If you and I had been able to go on our date last year, what do you think would have happened?”
Finn shifted. “What do you mean?”
Entwining their fingers in the air between them, Jaime pulled Finn’s hand down to press a light kiss to the tip of each clawed finger. “Say our first date really happened. Would you have told me about your shift? Would we have gotten here?”
Finn sat with the question for a long time. Jaime let him, exchanging shared breaths. Finally, he said, “I don’t know. I still would have known right away that you are my mate. I think a part of me already knew, even before we met. But…” he sighed. “I truly don’t know if I would have had the courage to show you, without all of the other circumstances involved. Without needing to protect you.”
Jaime nodded, understanding. “I wouldn’t take it back, you know.”
At Finn’s cocked head, Jaime continued. “I hate that we lost a year that we otherwise could have had together. I wish that Vera hadn’t been murdered, and that you and Silas and Sheppard weren’t wrapped up in this mess with the Salt Creek pack. But I do not regret that this year of pain brought me back to you. That it gave us a second chance. And I’m so thankful that it landed you on my doorstep that day. I’m so thankful you found me, that you would have come for me, regardless of whether Sam had hired you.”
Finn found Jaime’s lips in a desperate kiss, salty and hot from his tears as he put every ounce of love he felt into the press of their mouths, and tried to convey how much he had needed to hear that. “Oh, my Jaime. Me too.”
After a long while of slow, tender kisses, Jaime pulled back and stretched, giving Finn a languid smile. He watched Jaime’s muscles bunch and contract with a predator’s focus, but blinked up in surprise at his next words.
“I’m hungry. Also, can’t you turn into a giant wolf? I’d like to see that, please.”
Chapter 19
Jaime
