Something warm and overwhelming bloomed in my chest—something I hadn’t felt maybe ever, not even with Eric. Thiswasdifferent—purer, deeper. More.
“I know this isn’t the same as that,” I finally replied. “I’m sorry.”
Kaspar suddenly took my face between his hands and forced me to meet his eyes. “Don’t apologize for being honest with me.Ever.”
Silence filled the space between us, only disturbed by the gentle creaking of the ship and the whisper of wind through the sails.
“Max,” he whispered suddenly, his voice catching on my name. “I need to tell you something.”
I stared into his eyes that were reflecting the stars above with blinding clarity.
“What is it?”
Dropping his hands, he took a deep breath. “The thought of leaving you when we reach Asteris—” His voice broke, and the moonlight caught the shimmer of unshed tears in his eyes. “It’s tearing me apart. It hurts—physically hurts—to think about leaving you. Leaving you here all alone.”
The raw emotion in his voice struck me like a storm gale against bare canvas. His eyes, usually dancing with joyful light, now swam with a sorrow that echoed through the hollow spaces between my ribs.
“I know I have to go,” he continued, his voice choked. “My sister and Cody need me. And I’m not a pirate. But holy shit, Max, I didn’t expect this. I didn’t expect you.”
With my thumb, I brushed away a tear that had escaped to trail down his cheek. The sight of it undid me completely. I leaned forward, pressing my lips to his in a kiss that tasted of salt and longing.
“Come with me,” Kaspar blurted suddenly, his fingers anchoring into my shoulders like a drowning man clutching driftwood. “Stay in Asteris. With me.” His voice fractured on thefinal word, his eyes luminous with desperate hope in the silver moonlight. “Stay with me, Max. Don’t leave me.”
His plea carved through my defenses like a heat through frost. My heart contracted with such violence I nearly gasped, as he trembled against me. An unfamiliar heat prickled behind my eyes—it shocked me to discover I was now fighting back my own tears.
I closed my eyes, letting myself imagine the fantasy for one dangerous moment—a life with Kaspar in Asteris. Morning light filtering through the curtains to find us still entwined. Us building something permanent from the wreckage of my past. Finding harbor after years adrift.
When my eyes opened, reality descended like an executioner’s blade.
“Kaspar,” I whispered, leaning forward to press a lingering kiss to his forehead. His skin was warm against my lips, and I breathed in the scent of him, committing it to memory. “You don’t know how much I want to stay with you. But it’s not possible.”
“Why not?” he demanded.
“I’m still a wanted man,” I said, the words bitter on my tongue. “If I settle anywhere—even in Asteris—I put everyone around me at risk. You, your sister, Cody… you could all be charged with harboring a criminal. I can’t do that to you.”
His fingers tightened in my shirt. “We’d be so careful—”
“There’s no being careful enough,” I interrupted gently. “And what would I even do there? I’ve spent my entire adult life in the sky. I don’t know how to live on the ground anymore.” I forced a weak laugh. “What would I be? A shopkeeper? A farmer?”
The truth I couldn’t quite voice was that the thought of never flying again, of being permanently earthbound, made me feel like I was suffocating. The sky was the only place I’d ever truly belonged.
Kaspar’s expression crumpled, and he looked down, nodding slightly. The defeat in that small gesture tore at me.
I tilted his chin up, making him meet my eyes again. When I pulled back, I rested my forehead against his. “Don’t think about that tonight,” I whispered. “We still have time left. Let’s just… treasure what we have right now, in this moment.”
He nodded, nestling closer as I wrapped my arms around him. We settled back against the mast, our bodies entwined as we gazed up at the vast expanse of stars stretching endlessly above us.
“The stars are constant,” I murmured against his hair. “No matter where you go, no matter where I am, we’ll be looking at the same stars. Whenever you look up, know that I’m somewhere beneath the same sky, thinking of you.”
Below us,The Black Wraithsailed onward through the night, carrying us ever closer to Asteris—and to our inevitable parting. But for now, in this small wooden sanctuary high above the world, all I could think was that sometimes the most precious treasures were the ones we never set out to find.
The stars would remember what we shared here, even when we could only hold the memory in our hearts.
17
Kaspar
After nearly two months on this ship, I was starting to get a feel for howThe Black Wraithsailed through the air. So when we lurched to the side and the entire ship tilted so badly I slid into the railing, I knew something was wrong. Very wrong. It’d been windy as hellfire all day, so this probably didn’t bode well.
