“I’m so sorry,” Kas whispered, his face pulling into a scowl. “I hate him, Max. I hate what he did to you.”
“I spent years hating him too. And I still do. But mostly, I hate who I was—naïve, trusting, blind to what was happening right in front of me.”
“You couldn’t have known,” Kaspar said, his voice fierce with conviction. “He was your captain. Your…lover.” He wrinkled his nose in disgust, prompting a shallow laugh from me. “You were supposed to trust him.”
When I only sighed, Kaspar turned in my arms, his face illuminated by starlight. Those green eyes studied me with a new intensity. No pity—just understanding.
“He didn’t deserve you. Not your loyalty, not your heart. None of it.” His fingers brushed over my collection of rings, pausing on Eric’s. “It’s this one, isn’t it?”
I stiffened. “How did you know?”
“It’s the one you play with the most.” His face scrunched up in distaste. “I’ve seen you spinning it when you’re lost in thought.” His eyes never left the ring. “And… well, you still wear it after all this time. So I can’t help but wonder…” He trailed off, but the implication hung in the air.
I gently removed his hand from mine, bringing it to my lips. “As a reminder, Kas, nothing more. It reminds me to never trust completely. Never give anyone that kind of power over me again.”
Kaspar reached up, his palm warm against my cheek. “He took so much from you. Don’t let him take anything more.”
My breath caught in my throat. The simple truth of his words hit me. I’d been so focused on what I’d lost, I hadn’t considered what I was still surrendering—my ability to trust, to connect, to love without reservation.
“I don’t know how to stop,” I admitted.
“You’re already starting,” Kaspar said softly. “You trusted me with your story.” He was quiet for a moment, his thumb tracing circles on my palm. “Thank you for telling me,” he finally said. “I know it wasn’t easy.”
“You deserved to know.” I hesitated, then added, “I haven’t told anyone the full story. Not even Ariella.”
“Why me?”
It was a fair question. One I’d been asking myself since I’d started speaking tonight. Why had I opened these old wounds for him? Why lay bare the ugliest parts of my past?
“Because,” I said slowly, “when I’m with you, I don’t feel like the man I became after Eric. For the first time in five years, I feel like maybe there’s something left of the person I used to be.”
It was only as I said it that I fully appreciated the truth of it. These last few weeks with Kaspar had transformed something inside me. Each secret smile across the deck, each brush of hands when passing tools, each night spent talking in hushed voices—they’d stitched together pieces of me I thought were lost forever.
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt this light. This…happy. The word itself felt foreign, like a language I’d forgotten how to speak. But there it was—happiness—sneaking into my life when I least expected it.
Kaspar looked up at me, his lovely eyes reflecting starlight. My heart immediately kicked against my ribs like it was trying to escape. This reaction to him still caught me off guard every time. One look from him, and I was gone.
“What are you thinking about?” he asked.
“You,” I admitted. “How different everything feels with you here.”
A slow smile spread across his face. Without warning, he untangled himself from my grasp, only to climb onto my lap.His weight settled against me, familiar now after our sky-drop adventure. His arms wrapped around my neck, and I instinctively pulled him closer, my hands finding their place at his waist.
“You mean it’s better?” he asked, his face inches from mine.
“Very, very much so,” I murmured, feeling slightly guilty that I wasn’t actively scanning the skies through my telescopic. But it was a clear night, stars scattered like diamonds across black velvet, and we were in relatively safe airspace. The ship’s instruments would hopefully alert us to any approaching danger before my telescopic would even spot it.
Though the warmth radiating from Kaspar’s body overrode any thoughts about it not being worth the risk. His weight on my lap felt like an anchor, keeping me tethered to this moment, to him. Years without human touch, and now I suddenly felt like I couldn’t live without it. The thought should have terrified me, but with his arms around my neck and his eyes reflecting starlight, fear seemed distant and unimportant.
“I should be keeping watch,” I said, making no move to shift him from my lap. My hands stayed firmly at his waist, thumbs tracing small circles against the fabric of his shirt.
“You are,” he replied with a mischievous grin that sent my heart racing impossibly faster. “Just not of the skies. You’re keeping watch of me doing this…”
He leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss against my collarbone. The contact was feather-light but sent electricity coursing through my veins. Before I could recover, he placed another kiss next to the first, lingering this time.
“And this,” he murmured against my skin.
He moved to my other collarbone, but this time, there was a hint of teeth grazing my sensitive skin. I hissed, unable to contain the sound as heat rushed south, my cock hardening inimmediate response. My fingers dug into his hips, pulling him even closer.
