Even though his eyes were squeezed tightly shut, tears freely streamed down his cheeks onto the mattress. The feeling of Julien’s skin touching almost every inch of his was too much and not enough at the same time. “Julien,” Cinn whispered like a prayer, tightening his legs around Julien’s waist.
“Say it again.”
Cinn opened his eyes. With a trembling hand, he brushed Julien’s blond waves from his sweat-slick forehead, to reveal grey eyes that pierced his with a ferociously possessive gaze.
“Julien, Julien, Julien,” he chanted, his dick throbbing with every syllable.
“Louder!”
“Julien, Julien!” he screamed, as Julien pushed inside him one last time to fill him with hot cum, and as if that was his own permission, Cinn released his own hot, silky ropes into the middle of them.
Collapsing on top of him, panting breathlessly, Julien smothered Cinn with his body, his fingers tangling in his hair as he whispered beautiful sounding things in French into his ear while he continued pushing him into the mattress, slowing the roll of his hips until he stilled.
Eventually, Cinn’s limbs stopped twitching, and his pulse steadied. He burrowed his face into the crook of Julien’s neck. “Holy fucking shit,” he mumbled, and Julien laughed. Cinn hooked a leg over Julien’s, entwining them even further. “Just so you know, if you try to kick me out right now, I will probably burn your apartment block down.”
“That’s funny, because I was about to say that if you eventhinkabout leaving, I’m not opposed to tying you to the bed.”
Cinn trailed his fingertips down Julien’s face, brushing his thumb over the dip of one dimple. “Why would I possibly leave when everything I want is right here?” he whispered.
thirty
Julien
When Julien’s eyelashes fluttered open, he was pressed up against warm skin.
Confusion gripped him, until the slow, steady rhythm of Cinn’s breath reminded him of his presence. His presence here in Julien’sbed. Shuffling back slightly on the pillow they’d somehow shared, Julien marvelled at Cinn’s sleeping face. It had been years since he’d woken up with someone.
Over the years, Julien had engaged in numerous sexual escapades with many people, but last night with Cinn was by far the most intimate encounter he’d ever had.
Images replayed in Julien’s mind.
The way Cinn had looked at him so trustingly, so adoringly.
The way he’d shouted his name, like it was the only word that belonged on his lips.
Then, the way he’d playfully sprayed Julien with the shower when they rinsed off, then jostled him for sink space while brushing their teeth together.
Afterwards, Julien had slipped under the covers and held his arms open, and Cinn had climbed in beside him, entangling their limbs in a warm embrace. The feel of Cinn’s heavy head on his chest as they’d drifted off to sleep, Cinn’s fingers firmly interlocked with his, had seared itself on Julien’s soul.
There would be nobody else for Julien now. He was as sure as the stars in a clear night sky.
This is what it should feel like.
Lying still in the bed, Julien didn’t move an inch, lest he disturb Cinn. He focused all his energy on capturing this moment in his mind, an imagined sketch of the two of them, sharp lines and soft contours fusing together to create a work of art.
At some point, he must have fallen back to sleep, because Cinn was gone when he next opened his eyes. He couldn’t prevent the sickening lurch of his heart falling like a stone through water as he reached out to find the space where Cinn had been cold, the faintest scent of lemon lingering on his pillow.
And this is why you were afraid of it.
For a moment that felt like an eternity, he held in a breath, until a bang in the kitchen restarted his system, flooding him with blissful relief. He slipped on his dressing gown and headed straight to the kitchen to find Cinn, dressed only in his T-shirt and underwear, brown curls a tangled mess, grinning at him.
“I was going to cook you breakfast, but then I discovered you have no food. Like, none. Why do you have so many empty cupboards? Also, you don’t have any instant coffee, so you’ll have to use your fancy thing to make me one.” Cinn gestured to the cafetière, eyes wide in expressive mock fury.
As Cinn continued to rant about various items in his kitchen, Julien’s heart swelled full to bursting, to the point his throat tightened, and he had to swallow down tsunamis of rising emotion that threatened to spill out of him.
Ridiculous things wanted to climb out of his mouth.
You are the most beautiful thing, inside and out.
