“What’s go— Oh! Zeke. Are you looking for Noah?” It was Krish, one of Noah’s friends from Squad K. He gave Zeke’s arm a squeeze. “I saw him in the upstairs bathroom a few minutes ago. He… I’m not sure if…” Krish stared at him as he trailed off, scratching his neck.
He wasted no time replying. He reached the bathroom, heart hammering in his chest, to find it deserted—bar one shower cubicle, steam pouring out from under the gap in the door.
“Noah?” he said tentatively, knocking lightly.
The silence spoke volumes.
He slid onto the damp floor, peering under the door, expecting to find feet. Seeing Noah’s face instead, he flinched back in shock. Noah was curled up sideways on the floor, eyes open, fully clothed in his black hoodie, the water from the shower streaming over him. He stared right through Zeke as if he weren’t there.
“Let me in.”
Noah continued to stare, unblinking, his face an expressionless mask.
Seeing no other choice, he removed his glasses and dragged his slender frame under the door, instantly saturating his clothes as he lay in the puddle created by the water. This prompted a reaction from Noah at last and he furrowed his eyebrows, as if Zeke had confused him. There was little floor space now, forcing Noah to sit up. He pulled his knees to his chest and cast his eyes downwards as the scorching-hot water continued to pour.
There was a long pause as Zeke searched for words. “Noah… it’s going to be okay.”
This was definitely the wrong thing to say. Noah gave him a scathing look, as if he was an utter fool.
“It’s going to be…okay? How is it possibly going to beokay?” Noah’s volume increased to a manic shout.
Zeke flinched, moving away from Noah to press his back against the wall. The Noah before him was not one he recognised, or knew how to handle.
“What thefuckis even the point of all this?” Noah said. His haunted hazel eyes bore a wild, crazed look.
“Noah,” he choked out, swallowing. His throat constricted, and he struggled to breathe in the humid air.
Noah leaned back, his head now against the tiled wall. He lifted his head slightly, and Zeke thought he was going to say something, but then he let his head drop against the hard ceramic.Bang. He repeated the motion, slamming the back of his head even more violently.Bang.
“Stop!”
Noah did not stop.
“Noah, you’re scaring me!”
Zeke’s words did nothing to halt Noah’s determined movements, forcing him to reach over, placing his palm between the tiles and Noah’s head. He cried out in pain when Noah’s heavy head smashed into his hand. Surely that would stop him? But Noah only pushed him away, moving forward to bang his forehead on another tile.
“Enough!” he roared. He lunged at Noah, manoeuvring behind him and pulling him towards his chest. He used his thighs to squeeze Noah’s torso, pinning him in place. Noah unleashed a wail of fury as he thrashed against him, screaming so loud everyone would likely hear him on the below levels. “I’m not letting you go until you calm down,” he said, but it was useless. Noah wasn’t listening. He threw his head back, smacking Zeke in the mouth. His lip collided painfully with his teeth. “Ouch!”
Noah stopped moving, going limp in his arms before twisting around to face Zeke. He brushed his fingers over Zeke’s bottom lip, staring at the faint smear of blood on his fingertips when he pulled them away. The water thankfully washed it away, but after the sights from earlier, the sight of his blood barely affected him.
“I’m sorry.” Noah’s face dissolved into an almost unrecognisable crumple of its usual shape. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m—”
Zeke reached his arms around Noah, pulling his face against his chest. Noah collapsed against him, sobbing so hard the vibrations shook his own body. Zeke stroked Noah’s wet hair. “It’s okay,” he whispered. “You don’t need to apologise.” He lowered his head to kiss the top of Noah’s head, pressing hard so he could feel it. He kissed him again and again, as if each kiss could wipe away his pain.
“You’re going to die. You’re all going to die. I’m going to loseeveryone,” Noah said, his voice barely audible over the pounding shower. His breathing became a series of short, sharp, gurgling gasps and tremors shook the entirety of his body.
Zeke’s frantic brain scrambled back in time to when Zaya used to suffer from panic attacks, when they were first evacuated to London after the first wave.
“Do this for me.” Zeke sucked in a massive breath and expelled slowly, humming a low note.
Noah’s head tilted in confusion, but he followed the instructions.
“Hold it for as long as possible.”
Several choked sobs cut off Noah’s first attempt, but by the third he made the sound continuously, and the shaking of his body subsided.
Zeke squeezed him even tighter to him. “Who should I call? Habib? Vitt?” He raised his wristband. “Leo?” he added.
