Often, he would find himself looking over at Frankie belly-laughing with the others, her head tipped back, eyes alive with delight. She was the missing piece to their puzzle, whereas his hard, bitter edges allowed little space for the others to connect with him. Squad E was impossibly close, often speaking in the shared language that could only be the product of a group spending sixteen hours a day with each other. Yet he often felt like an alien in their presence.
His only two solaces were Frankie and Noah. Frankie was determined to be an absolute ray-of-sunshine at any given moment, which he pretended irritated him while secretly depending on it. She’d even resorted to tickling him out of a bad mood once, to his horror. And then there was Noah, who treated him with respect and kindness he didn’t deserve, after how he’d acted towards him at the beginning. Noah, who fell back to walk with him when he got tired, and repoured Zeke’s coffee for him even when it wasn’t his ‘mug duty’.
Most of the squad spent their rest days relaxing, playing games or sports. However, Noah forced Zeke and Frankie to continue to train with him, although he did release them a few hours early. “You’ll thank me when you’re not dead,” he repeatedly said, which did nothing for Zeke’s confidence. On these days, he would go back to the dormitory to sleep for a precious few extra hours before Splat came to drag him to dinner.
On one such rest day, about four weeks in, Noah interrupted his routine. Zeke had just exited the shower cubicle, wearing only a towel, when Noah pounced on him.
He’d half-expected Noah to insist on dragging him back to the mat-lined hall where they conducted close-combat drills. He’d failed rather badly earlier in the day, ‘dying’ three times in a row.
Instead Noah stared at him for a heartbeat, eyes gazing past Zeke’s shoulder. He cleared his throat. “Are you free to walk somewhere before dinner? I found something I think you might like.”
Time stilled for a moment.
“I guess?” was all Zeke managed in his confusion.
He immediately regretted his hesitant response; Noah’s face fell and his posture sagged.
“That sounds great!” He winced at himself. Now he sounded far too enthusiastic. “I’ll just… get dressed first, if that’s okay.”
Noah laughed and agreed to meet him outside the building in ten minutes.
Zeke pulled on his clothes in a rush, heart pounding at the idea of spending time alone with Noah. Over the few weeks, he’d grown more and more awestruck by the man. Noah led his team with relentless loyalty and love. He was beyond patient with Zeke’s shortcomings, showing him things again and again. He often found himself simply staring at him, wondering how the hell he managed to do such a demanding job and still stay standing.
You don’t need to be nervous about going on a bloody walk,he told himself as he took the final steps to the front door, where Noah waited.This isn’t a date. It can’t be.
Noah smiled, then eyed his tatty brown jacket. “I can help you order a waterproof coat, if that one has reached the end of its lifespan.”
“It’s fine.” Zeke zipped it up to prove it, grimacing when the zip caught twice in the material. “Where are we going, then?”
Noah led him towards the path to the fire pit at first, before veering off to the left. A small opening in the dense foliage—that surrounded the entire Avantis compound—revealed a narrow path winding its way into the heart of the woods.
“I always run Wolf up this way. Not sure if anyone else comes here.”
“Why isn’t Wolf here now?”
Noah threw him a mysterious smile, and Zeke’s curiosity at what this bizarre trip was about to entail spiked. Noah continuously glanced at the brass watch he wore above his wristband. It appeared to double as a compass.
“Nice watch.”
“My father gave it to me. The week before he died.”
Zeke had a sudden urge to reach out to grab Noah’s hand, to run his fingers over the watch. He pushed his hands into his pockets instead.
After five more minutes of walking, Noah stopped and pointed. Hidden at the base of a gnarled, ancient tree was a small, unobtrusive hole in the ground. A soft breeze rustled the leaves above, as if to invite them to come and take a closer look.
“Is that… a fox den?”
“Yep. I saw them here yesterday.”
“But how did you…?” Zeke trailed off, remembering Noah saw his fox toy the night he arrived. Hopefully, the others hadn’t told Noah that he cuddled it every night as he fell asleep.
Noah glanced at him, seeming to want to gauge his reaction. “I realised on the way, I should have probably checked that you actually like foxes before marching you all the way out here.”
Zeke laughed. “Luckily for you, I do indeed like foxes. It’s sort of a thing I have with Zaya.”
“Okay. That’s good.” Noah shuffled on the spot, seeming uncomfortable. “Well, we’re a bit early. Let’s go crouch over there and keep quiet.”
The long, spiky grass was uncomfortable and damp to sit on, but Zeke didn’t mind. He was overwhelmingly struck with gratitude at Noah’s thoughtfulness—so much so that he felt even shyer than usual as they sat side by side, facing the fox den. Noah’s knee was just grazing his own; they were so close he could smell the faint smell of bonfire that always followed him, even when he hadn’t been to the fire pit that day. He fought back images of him resting his head on Noah’s lap and pinched himself to refocus. This ever-growing infatuation with his CO was beginning to be a problem. Asurprisingproblem.
