“A deadline,” Knox repeats. It’s not fully a question, but it’s obvious he wants to know more.
“Um, yeah. I’m…getting remarried. At the cabin. It feels weird doing that if we still own it together.”
The phone slips from Knox’s hand, and his brows pinch together in another wave of pain. Needing to ground him and bring him back to me, I place my left hand on the side of his neck while my lips attack the right. Afraid my voice would be pickedup by the speaker, I convey all my thoughts in the way my lips brush against his skin, the way my tongue follows in their wake. I suck lightly, soundlessly, trying to keep him tethered to the moment. Telling him the past holds nothing for him, and it’s in the present, withme, that he’s wanted.
I hate that this is the way my lips reconnect with his skin for the first time, but I’m desperate. Knox may be a protector, but I have a savior complex a mile wide. I just want people to be able to live as honestly, genuinely, and happily as they can.
Thankfully, it works, but one look at his face and I realize he’s more startled about what I’m doing than the fact that his ex-wife is on the phone going on about her upcoming nuptials.
“Karen, I’ve got to go. I’ll call you tomorrow, and we can figure something out.”
Knox disconnects the call before she can answer.
“I’m sorry,” I blurt. “I just wanted you to?—”
“Shut up,” Knox growls as he grips my face and kisses me,hard.
It takes every ounce of self-restraint I possess—and some I borrow after leveraging my soul in a silent prayer—to not grind against Knox right now. My hands itch to undress him. To feel his skin pressed against mine. To ride this defiant wave until it crashes against the shore of reality.
But this needs to be about him.
Take,I silently beg, but his resolve doesn’t last long.
“Shit. Fuck, Taylor. It’s my turn to apologize.”
“I don’t want your apology. I want you to keep going.Please.” The desperation in my voice should be embarrassing. People say you should never beg another person for anything. That you should know your self-worth and begging is pathetic. But I sayfuck that. If I know what I want, I will do whatever it takes to get it. Sometimes, people need to be begged in order to know their worth. We all play a role. And right now, I’ll happily be a beggar.
“I’m sorry I dragged you into this shitstorm,” Knox continues, his fingers still tracing my skin through the holes of my shirt as his forehead lands on mine.
“You didn’t,” I remind him. “It was my idea to come over here. And I’m glad I did. You shouldn’t go through this alone.”
Knox rolls his lips inward, his gaze still not meeting mine as he says, “Thank you for coming when I needed you.”
I brush a hand across his cheek, and he nuzzles into my touch. When his eyes finally find mine, they’re glassy from alcohol, but there are no tears. I have no idea how much he drank before I arrived, but it was enough to make him text me in the first place.
I don’t like it.
But I understand it.
I also understand it means we aren’t going any further tonight. Not when he could regret his consent in the morning.
“Come on,” I tell him, sliding off his lap once more. “Let’s get you to bed.” His eyes widen, and I laugh. “Alone,” I clarify. “Go do what you need to do. I’m going to grab a glass of water and mill around until I find your ibuprofen.”
“Drawer next to the fridge,” he mumbles.
Since he was able to make it down the hallway and into his room without issue, I heard the toilet flush and the sink run,andhis words aren’t slurred, I don’t think he runs the risk of aspirating. But just to be sure, I plan to tell him to sleep on his side with a wall of pillows behind him.
Except when I enter his room, he’s face-down on his comforter, already snoring softly, in nothing but tight black boxer briefs.
Miles of tan, bare skin are before me.How does he look even bigger without clothes on?The muscles in his back are on full display as they taper down to his waist. I set the water and fourpills on his nightstand, andlook…Itryto back away without touching him. I really do.
Butmy God.
The mounds of his ass have my knees buckling, and the veins in his arms are begging to be noticed.Worshipped.Who am I to deny them?
But at the last second, I pull my hand back, Livvy’s words ringing in my ears.You realize you basically just assaulted that guy, right?
A sickening feeling is left in their wake as an unnerving thought slams into me.
