A muscle worked in Malachi’s jaw. “You’re the most bullish female I’ve ever met, do you know that?” He let go of her wrist and brushed his fingers along her neck before squeezing it lightly. His hold on her throat wasn’t forceful enough to actually restrict her air supply, but she sucked in a breath all the same. “If I still aimed to kill you, I could’ve done so while you lay in my bed this night. You’ve already convinced the vassal kings of the advantages to recognizing me as their high king instead of Rishaud that go beyond bullshit prophecies, and I could spin that to my advantage. I could kill you right here and keep them in the dark about your demise until they’ve sworn fealty oaths. But I have not moved to harm you, nor will I. My inaction whenit would behoove me to get rid of the warrior female who seeks to move against me sooner rather than later should be all the proof of my earnestness you need.”
“You mean you could’vetried,” she countered. Kadeesha’s pride demanded she remind Malachi of what he’d just admitted about how much of a threat she was.
His lips twitched. “My point remains the same, wife.” He let go of her neck and abruptly kissed her. She didn’t even think about it; she opened for him automatically as soon as his tongue swept against her mouth.
Just kill him now, a voice urged, managing to slice its way through the smoldering desire that flared.His guard is down and he’s toying with you. He doesn’t believe you’ll raise a hand against him. At least not this day.Alongside the voice, Kadeesha saw the alternative path before her that she could easily take. As Malachi had just pointed out, she’d already done the work of convincing the vassal kings of the immense value that lay within supporting a monarch other than Rishaud. She, and she alone, could be that other monarch. She could leverage the fact that the prophecy imparted her firstborn son would inherit a united Nimani and force the kings to accept a woman ruling over them until that time came. She didn’t need Malachi to see that end through and reign as high queen in order to ensure her kingdom and now her future child were protected. The vassal kings might’ve expressed reticence against being embroiled in a war they had no stake in, but it wouldn’t be too difficult to convince them of the merit of taking up arms against Rishaud if Malachi was out of the picture. With the collective might and armies of the other monarchs and the entirety of the Aether Court’s kongamato squadron on her side, she likely could face Rishaud herself andwin—all while still sparing excessive bloodshed. The Hyperion Kingdom, and it alone, would take the brunt of the ravages of war—
But even as this swirled through her mind, Malachi deepened their kiss, and it was too much. It shattered her line of thinking. This male had a way of seeping into every inch of her psyche, overwhelming her senses, drowning her in need, and making her see things from a vantage point she wouldn’t otherwise consider. For instance, at that very moment, the inconvenient fact that she carried his child, would birth his child even after she slew him, buzzed inside her mind. She’d been certain she could abide only one outcome for her and Malachi. But what if hewasbeing genuine with everything he’d just offered?
But what if he isn’t?the ever-cautioning voice insisted.
She couldn’t quite shake the lingering reservation. She broke their kiss, breathing erratically as her pulse whooshed in her ears. An innate knowing told her she perched on a perilously high precipice, one where utter devastation and doom lay ahead versus a cushioned landing, all depending on the side of the cliff she plunged off of. She closed her eyes for a moment to gather her wits, firmly root herself in some semblance of sensibleness. After a brief time, she opened her eyes and asked Malachi, “What would you and I ruling together as true equals look like, given that we don’t always see eye to eye about your sometimes-brutal ways?”
“That means we balance each other out and are the perfect complements,” Malachi answered with ease. His hands found their way to her belly. He cupped her stomach as if it were already swollen with their child growing rapidly inside. A feeling she couldn’t quite name, but one that felt like a fist squeezing around her heart, erupted behind Malachi’s tender caress. He’dnever handled her in that way before—like she was an immense treasure that he cherished. “Tell me,” he said, “all of your reasons fornotbeing disposed to become my true high queen and the high queen of all Nimani.”
Kadeesha gave him a look, shaking off the absurd sentimentality that had struck her. “Chiefly, there’s the fact that you will usurp Rishaud only to replace him as the pitiless bastard whom others bow to. And it’ll be made all the worse by the fact that you despise southern fae. I’ll concede that you treat your own people in a mostly just fashion and make decisions with the well-being of the whole of your Apollyonfolk as a priority. But I find it impossible to believe you will extend such graciousness to my folk, the Aether fae, or any other among the southern lands. And since I will not allow innocent fae to fall victim to whatever ill treatment you feel is owed because of the grudge you hold, and I certainly will not be a participating or complicit party in the subjugation of innocents, I can’t imagine this working.”
Malachi’s hands hadn’t moved from her belly. He held her there not only tenderly, but protectively. His eyes radiated the same fierce protectiveness, and it stole her breath. “I don’t despiseallsouthern fae. At least, not anymore,” he said quietly. “And to be clear: I’ll adore our child. Spoil them. Serve them not only a throne but the entire continent and whatever else they desire on a silver platter. There’s your mother, and Leisha, and the rest of your Nkita too. They have all shown themselves to be admirable and formidable. When my Apollyonfolk were attacked, they assisted the injured, and they forever have my gratitude. Then there is you, KadeeshaDiamundis. You’ve done more than help when my court was in dire straits. You, a southern fae, spoke up for a young Apollyon boy and his mother when you thought I’d pass harsh judgement upon them. And when Iwas set on annihilating all fae of Niyarre and Tareek blood no matter their guilt,youleveled a censuring look on me that was theonlyreason I decided differently. You were a voice for faefolk, yet again, who are not your own. If that wasn’t enough, during Rishaud’s latest assault, you marchedintofire to help rescue Apollyon survivors. And none of this even begins to mention how you are ferociously independent and frighteningly powerful and a queen as much as you are a warrior.
“I’ve been resistant,refusingto take a wife until now because I couldn’t bear the torment of failing that wife or any of our future children as my father did with my mother. In the end, he simply wasn’t strong enough to protect his family or his court.”
The pressure in Kadeesha’s chest had intensified with each admission, each truth, Malachi lay bare. At his mention of witnessing his parents’ murders at such a tender age, Kadeesha’s heart broke for the small child he’d been who’d been plunged into the middle of vicious political plots and bloodshed. She reached for Malachi, wrapping her arms around his back, hugging him. “No child should ever have to see their parents die such violent deaths or be stricken with horror that they’re next,” she said as quietly as Malachi had been speaking.
He smiled but it held little mirth. “I agree. And yet again you prove how magnificent you are because you’re able to extend me compassion for an act that I myself visited upon you. I cannot say I am sorry for what I did, but I am sorry for the grief I caused you, if that matters to you at all.”
“It matters,” she said softly, warring emotions thick in her throat.
Malachi moved from holding her stomach to caressing it. Amid the weighted silence that stretched between them, hisgaze held a far-off, cloudy look, as if he was seeing the past instead of the present.
When the murkiness cleared, he said gruffly, “If you’re pregnant and keeping the babe, then I’ve already failed to avoid gaining a family that I must protect at all costs. Which means there’s no use trying to fight or deny the urge I’ve had since our first meeting.”
She was afraid to ask, but somehow whispered, “Which is?”
“That I want you, and I don’t just mean your body,” he clarified in a tone that was as fervent as it was frank. “Since Oleander House, you’ve invaded every part of my being. You occupy my thoughts constantly. When we’re together, when we’re apart, when we’re fighting, when we’re fucking, when we’re bickering, when we’re talking, when we’re dining—it doesn’t matter the occasion, I am driven mad with desire for you in every instance. When I think of a high queen who is worthy of the title and the Apollyon crown, that vision of who I’d want to reign beside me as my equal match in every way is you and only you. And when I think of us being on separate sides, facing each other in a fight in the near future, it leaves me knowing with no uncertainty that I am well and truly fucking doomed. There’s no way I’d lift a hand to harm you. I’d sooner fall to my knees and accept whatever death you dole out.”
“Why?” It wasn’t quite a laugh that he responded with, and she could sense the frustration coming from this male, a vulnerability she never thought she’d see from him.
“Because Iloveyou, Kadeesha. I’m not positive precisely when it happened, but it did, and now I will rip the realm and everything in it to shreds to keep you at my side. So tell me what I must give you to make that happen. Will it take me swearing a binding oath? One that promises to treat your kingdom as Iwould my own when we rule as one? If so, I’ll speak the proper words right now.”
She … Any words were beyond her as Malachi waited for a response. Great Celestials, she was barely able to form coherent thoughts. Malachi was not a male she’d ever imagine making a grand declaration of love to anyone. Yet, he just did. To her. And he’d just as freely offered to swear a binding vow without asking for anything in return, without diving into their usual harried bargaining. He … he’d said helovedher. Did he truly? Moreover, did she love him? The answer to the first question was apparent in the depths of his gaze and by the very fact that he would freely share his crown with her and swear an oath that threw aside his lifelong plan of vengeance. As for the second question …
She finally stopped fighting a truth she’d been battling for too long.
“Yes, swear the oath. Not only about the Aether Kingdom, but promise that treatment for all of the Six Kingdoms and the innocent fae dwelling within them,” she said, arms still locked around his back as he held himself up on his arms so they gazed directly at one another. “I was prepared to kill you and would have if I had to. But a part of me started rebelling at the idea somewhere along the way,” she admitted to both herself and him. Because something had become clear for her: Malachi would never be some bastion of virtue. But that was also an impossible standard, becausenofae monarch would ever be that, including herself. To rule, to amass and wield and retain power, meant there was always some necessity for brutality. And if she was being completely honest with herself, she appreciated he was a multifaceted king, even if she disagreed with some of histactics at times. Yes, she’d seen him vicious and bloodthirsty. But she’d also seen him generous and benevolent. And another unabashed truth was that she wasn’t merely enthralled with both sides of this man; shelovedall sides of him. She loved Malachi in every face he donned because each one washim.Plus, she could be two sides of the same coin herself depending on the situation. But … when she’d been dangerously leaning too heavily one way after Samira’s injury, Malachi had helped her lean back the other; he’d given her a safe haven to spend the worst of her rage. And he’d admitted that she’d tempered his wrath during the challenge feast.
That means we balance each other out and are the perfect complements, Malachi had insisted.
Could this actually work? Could this actually bereal?
“I love you, too.” When the life-changing words spilled forth, they felt as natural as breathing. So, too, did what she confessed next. “I don’t actually want to kill you either. You’re stunning when you aren’t being a brute. You’re a king who values and safeguards his people and a male who is fiercely loyal to those he has claimed as his own. And when youarebeing a merciless ass, well, I can at least understand your reasoning for that—as long as it doesn’t go too far.”It’s also hot as hell, but I’m not going to stroke his ego that much right now.“So you’re aware, a widespread massacre, for any reason, is going too far.”
He snorted, and she smacked his chest. “I’m serious. If I am your high queen, that doesn’t happen. Ever. I won’t abide it and once we have this child, I want him to witness true justice that doesn’t visit violence on innocents. This way our son will grow up and become a monarch who rulesin serviceof his folk instead of crushing them beneath his heel. It is so very easy for usmonarchs to become the latter. Even my father was an example of such, and I hated it then, just as I hate it now. Do you understand?” She stared Malachi directly in the eye and held his gaze so he truly got that this was a nonnegotiable. She waited, knowing that formulating the answer she wanted would be difficult for him. He was too much of a stubborn ass. But if they were really going to work, then she needed more than an answer. She needed his vow. Because she knew he would mean it then, and that was what mattered. So she pressed, “If you can agree to that too, then I’ll be your high queen of the Seven Kingdoms.”
“That last term might be slightly challenging,” Malachi said quietly. “With you and a child to protect, Iwillnot hesitate to eviscerate entire kingdoms, the entire continent, if I even catch wind of a brewing plot to cause either of you harm. I already told you: I would lay waste to the entire damn realm to prove a point not to fuck with what’s mine, and I will not apologize for doing so. However,” he added when she moved to argue, “I’ll agree for that to be the only condition upon which I act so extremely. Can you live with that?”
As she stared into the smoldering promise his darkened gaze projected, that he’d always protect and shed blood for her and their babe, she weighed those terms. She’d be lying if she claimed she wouldn’t battle against exhibiting a similar fury if their future child was threatened, even given where she stood on the issue. He was asking her to endorse annihilation if that happened, and yet she’d be a hypocrite if she didn’t acknowledge that the very thought of her baby being in danger filled her with murderous intent.
She took a deep breath, mostly because while she’d already decided to agree to his condition, she still couldn’t resist the fact that she disliked letting him win anything. Finally, she said, “Ican live with it. But let’s work hard to see that it does not come to that.”
