He dragged his thumb sinuously over her chin. “I am not a man who believes in looking back on the past and dwelling there. I cannot even remember it, but I will not panic or lose hope. I refuse to.”
The peek at his iron will shook her, for that resolve was stamped implacably on his features.
He continued. “There is something in front of me that I can focus on. You. Me. The future. That is the man I know myself to be. I do not need to wait on memories of the past to know you are my wife or that I need to be a good husband to you. Do you understand, wife?”
“Yes,” she said in a voice that sounded faint even to her ears.
“Good.”
He dipped and brushed the softest of kisses against her mouth. A warm, fluttering sensation filled her belly, startling Georgianna.Oh!His lips on hers was the gentle caress of a butterfly wing, yet she felt destroyed by his tenderness and the assurance in his touch. Her throat ached with emotions she barely understood, and before she could sink into the kiss, the earl lifted his head and walked away.
As Georgianna watched him retreat from the kitchen, she realized that not once in the madness of this scheme had she feared her heart or virtue might be in peril with the earl. How foolish she had been.
Oh God, I must never allow him too close.
Chapter Nine
Daniel sat on a wooden stool inside the barn, staring at the black-and-white spotted cow who kicked at him every time he tried to squeeze milk from her udder. He cast the cow a baleful stare, but the creature remained unruffled, chewing her tongue and considering him as if he were an ant.
Should my friends see me now, I would be the joke in all of society’s scandal sheets.
Daniel stiffened. “What friends?” he growled, desperately reaching for the line of thought. When nothing came to him, he released his fierce concentration and recalled what he had told his wife only a few minutes ago.
Am I really the kind of man who reaches for the future and does not linger in the past?
That implacable assurance as he said it to Georgianna had felt as if it came from a place inside of him that was unknown, however, most certainly real. The past was hidden from him, and while this morning he had felt a surge of black fright that he might never reclaim it, that fright had melted away and a new resolve had formed in its place.
It was his duty to do the best he could for his new and very unexpected family by making a path forward for them. He only wished he could recall why he chose Miss Georgianna Heyford and what had led him to marry her. Clearly, he was physically attracted to her, but she had no social connections or wealth, nothing to recommend her family to align with his.
Daniel tried to follow that trail of thought, for it felt damnably significant. Who was his family and why was he so certain he should not be wedded to a lady of such inferior circumstances?
He scrubbed a hand over his face.What is done is done…and I must have made the choice.Possibly whatever had pushed them together had not been the best of situations. Instead of falling back into the predictable trap of tumbling into these supposed throes of passion, he could relearn her or begin learning about her, since only carnal physicality seemed to have been their bond.
And he understood. Her prettiness struck his heart whenever he looked upon her, and she was stunningly lush with more than a handful of curves. It did not take much effort for him to conjure images of his wife splayed open before him, the pretty folds of her pink pussy, glistening, and ready for his mouth to devour.
Lust curled through him, wicked and insistent.Bloody hell. Daniel sucked in a sharp breath, pushing aside thoughts of ravishing his wife. First things first, concentrate on the chores at hand. Retrieve milk from the cow, and then see about compiling the tasks to do about the house in a semblance of logical order.
The house was in disrepair, his wife wore clothes that were probably three seasons old, her boots were scuffed and barely holding on, his youngest new sisters had no governess or formal education, and the quick peek he had seen at the pantry showed it to be almost empty.
I am broke.
Another hiss of irritation left him, and he tipped back his head to the ceiling, noting the missing slats in the roof. The rain would puddle inside when it fell. Not good for the single cow and goat they owned.
“Animals genteel ladies tend to by themselves,” he murmured. “Bloody hell, I have truly fallen down the damn rabbit hole.” They urgently needed at least a man of all works and a maid to aid them in their daily lives. “But first, the milk.”
Daniel pushed to his feet and approached the animal with care. The cow watched him with an expression he could not interpret. “At least you do not peck, but you kick, don’t you?”
“Her name is Nellie,” a voice whispered.
Daniel looked over his shoulder and chuckled. This time another young girl had joined Anna in sneaking up on him. He presumed this was Sarah. “Have you stolen away from your lessons again?”
They shared a considering glance before looking back at him and nodding.
“I see. What is the subject this time?”
Sarah wrinkled her nose. “Greek literature.Extraordinarilyboring.”
“I thought the same thing when I learned,” he said. “So are you to help milk Nellie?”
