I clench my jaw for a moment. “I would kill for Weston, even though he makes me want to backhand him a lot of the time.”
“I’d do the same for my brother. I love Kai, though. It isn’t hard to care about him.”
I let out a long breath. “I’m not used to it.”
“What?”
“Caring about people. Never thought I’d let myself do that again.”
She tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear. “After… after what happened to your sister?”
I nod, looking out the window at the snow.
I’d given Briar the short version of what happened to Lune, and luckily she’d never given me any pity-looks or treated me differently.
“Well, I fucking hate feeling powerless. Whether I care about the guys in Onyx or not, I won’t let someone trample all over them. Especially Rayne.”
“Because Rayne’sspecial?” she teases.
“He isn’t like the other guys in Onyx. He came from nothing, and hedeservesthe life that Onyx and Crimson College can give him.”
Briar lifts her eyebrows. “Hunter, I think that’s the first time I’ve ever heard you give someone a compliment. Other than me, when we’re fencing, of course.”
Heat creeps up along the back of my neck.
“I fucking hate Colson,” I tell her.
Except for the fact that I don’t.
“Right.”
“But he’s still the most deserving person in Onyx. Probably in this whole school.”
She’s clearly trying to hide a smile as she takes another bite of her sandwich.
And the tornado of frustration that built up inside me earlier is back now, whipping through me even worse, this time.
Solve the fucking problem that Onyx has, and it ends there.
Fuck Rayne senseless when he begs.
Take his cock because it’s perfect. But getting attached in any other way is not an option.
I’m the kind of person who is fuckable, not lovable.
I’ve known that for a long time.
And there’s nothing wrong with that.
I won’t feel a goddamned thing when all of this ends. When, inevitably, Rayne finds a guy who is actually a match for him.
Colson will miss my cock forever, no doubt.
When he fucks the guy who eventually becomes his picture-perfect husband, probably someonekind, and sweet, and good for him…
I hope he remembers what I felt like.
Or how the back of my knife on his chest only made his cock harder.
