Me: Did you mean to send this to a gymnast you were planning to fuck?
Ryan: You can’t do that?
Ryan: Maybe I need to look for a guy who’s a little more adventurous.
Me: I’d need to work on my upper body strength to even try.
Ryan: Depends on which position you’re playing.
Me: Pretty sure for either.
Ryan: Nah. The bottom’s more about the core. *winky face*
Me: Any recommendations? Crunches? Ab rolls?
Ryan: Planks, for sure.
Me: You know I’m joking, right?
Ryan: And you know one of us has always had a sense of humor, even before we started making out…right?
I chuckle, but then quiet, looking to Ash and Lance to see ifeither noticed. Neither looks up, and another DM comes through.
Ryan: I’m feeling good to go on my end. You?
My thoughts scramble, my anxiety shifting gears.
Me: Good to go? Actually do this…like soon?
Ryan: Why not? I’ve been watching a lot of videos and reading subreddits. And I told you, I’ve had anal sex with a girl before. I get the gist.
I’ve hit up my share of subreddits about anal. And despite the tension in me, there’s eagerness too. What we’ve done so far has been exciting and intense. I can’t help thinking this will be too.
I chew at my bottom lip.
Me: So when would we do this?
Ryan: Tonight? You have plans?
Fuck, how is he so damn casual about everything? Especially this.
Me: I’m tempted to make some up.
Ryan: Obviously we don’t have to if you don’t want to.
Me: No, no. I didn’t say that.
I couldn’t have messaged back faster, and I wish I’d thought about that before replying because I sound desperate.
Ryan: Because you wanna fuck me?
Me: Shut it. I’m trying to figure if my core will be up for it.
Ryan: Who says you’ll be the one bottoming?
My face warms.
I can’t tell if he’s serious, but it’s something we haven’t really gotten into since our agreement—something that, as we researched, it became clear we’d need to discuss, and I guess I should bring it up now rather than dealing with the awkwardness tonight.
