“Take a left.”
Malaki puts the blinker on and does exactly what I say.
Another few minutes pass, with all sorts of scenarios racing through my mind, when I say, “Take a right.”
Again, he follows my command quietly.
He is as casual as they come, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel, seemingly enjoying the silent drive toward downtown.
“Left.”
I see my apartment up ahead, along with some of the homeless dragging their belongings in stolen shopping carts with worn blankets trailing behind them.
“Park up there.” I point toward the curb and try not to think about the fact that Malaki is probably judging me up and down right now. The apartment complex is falling apart. Bricks are missing on the side of it, a piece of spray-painted plywood covering it in an attempt to keep the critters out.
As soon as the car is in park, I jolt from the passenger seat.
The sooner I lay eyes on Charleigh, the sooner I can process whatever the hell I just did with Malaki as my witness.
Fiancé. I said he was my fiancé.
“I’m so fucked,” I say as I run up the stairs.
The elevator hasn’t worked in months.
Maybe Malaki will attempt to use it and get stuck in there, then I won’t have to face the consequences of my fuckery.
I lift up the dead house plant in front of the neighbor’s door and steal my key out from below.
“Clever,” I hear from behind.
Damn, he’s fast.
My face is hot with embarrassment, so I keep my back to Malaki. The door pops open, and I rush inside, Malaki seemingly right behind me.
Zoe, still on the couch with a pencil in her hand, springs to her feet. “Why are you barreling in here–” Her mouth shuts with surprise. “Oh?”
I ignore my sister and rush toward the one bedroom that we share. I slowly push on the door and search for Charleigh.
Zoe whisper-shouts from the couch, “What’s with you? Charleigh is fine.”
My heart slows when I see her.
There, sprawled out in her hand-me-down pack-and-play, right next to the bed, is my daughter.
I allow myself to breathe deeply for the first time since seeing Benedict. My chest fills with contentment and comfort, but then I hear Malaki’s voice, and I’m right back to the shitshow I was in moments ago.
I tiptoe backward and quietly shut the door to my bedroom.
I turn just in time to see my sister gawking at me from the couch. Her mouth curves, and a laugh fumbles out. “Oh my god.” She can hardly contain her laughter as she grabs her phone from the coffee table and speaks to whoever is on the other end. “I gotta go. I think my sister is trying to get laid.”
“What?! No, I’m not!” I pinch the bridge of my nose and press against the wall until I’m sliding down to the floor. I bring my knees up to my chest and bury my face. I can’t even make eye contact with Malaki without bursting in flames.
I’m humiliated, embarrassed, ashamed, and so many more things.
“What the hell was I thinking?” I say into my knees.
Zoe snorts. “I’m pretty sure you were thinking that he’s hot.”
