“Because I buy my own tickets, Cade. Haven’t missed a game all season.”
My vision goes hazy when my head snaps up. “Then why use the will-call ticket tonight?”
“A silly mistake. I accidentally bought a ticket for the wrong night, but when I showed them my ID, they said there was a ticket waiting for me. I almost went home, but I’m glad I didn’t. When they came to get me . . .” Voice trembling, he trails off. “I just needed to make sure you were okay.”
He moves to go, but I reach for his wrist and blurt, “I’m sorry, Jimmy. I’m so sorry.” That stops him cold, giving me a chance to say the words I haven’t been able to say. “I should’ve listened to you and trusted you when you said Jon was bad for me, but I thought I knew better. I hoped you were wrong. Part of me worried you were trying to keep me from entering the league.”
A muscle jumps in his cheek. “After everything we had been through, why would you think that?”
“Stupidity? Fear? Jon made it clear that working with someone less experienced and talented than him would ruin my baseball career, and I believed him.”
Jimmy’s face flames, giving me a flashback to the coach who ran us ragged after my teammate cursed at our calculus teacher. “That man’s a grade A narcissist.”
“I know that now, but that doesn’t change anything. Everything’s already ruined.”
Jimmy’s lips press into a flat line. He has every right to be upset.
My dad may have left us, but Jimmy always showed up. He’s the man who taught me how to tie a tie. Helped me choose my prom tux. Moved all my crap into my college dorm.
And I messed everything up.
Pulling up a chair, he settles beside me. “You didn’t ruin anything, Cade. If anything, I did. I shouldn’t have snapped at you that night. All I could see was that predatory look in his eye and I freaked out. You always knew what you wanted to be, and Jon didn’t care about the guy I adored. Just what you could give him.”
Knowing that Jimmy saw the real Jon makes me feel better, but only slightly.
“I don’t think I ever knew who I was.” My temple throbs as I remove the ice pack from it. “Looking back, everything seems warped.”
His question is earnest. “In what way?”
“My whole life, I’ve been a baseball player. I grew up playing baseball, traveled for baseball, went to college on a baseball scholarship, and didn’t finish my degree so I could play baseball. That’s all people saw me as, the golden boy, and it’s all I saw myself as too.”
As if ashamed of coming clean, I look away.
This is why I kept my distance. All I heard in my ear from Jon was that I wasn’t doing enough or living up to the title that was created for me,and I didn’t want to hear it from Jimmy too. Disappointing him was my biggest fear. I wanted him to be proud of me for making it. Instead, I lost one of the most important people in my life.
Jolting me from my shame spiral, Jimmy bellows a laugh. “Well, I’d like to officially welcome you to the pro-athlete club.”
I stare at him, thoroughly confused. “Club?”
His head falls forward. “There’s something about the way the sport shifts from fun and competitive to being the thing that not only pays your bills, but also the only thing everybody knows you for. The guy who either messes up all the time or the guy who is constantly smiling, which means the moment he slips up, everybody jumps on it.” His hand finds my knee and squeezes. “The reason I didn’t use your will-call tickets is because I didn’t want you to think I was using you. Watching your games was the only way I could see you, so I watched from afar. I knew we’d talk someday.”
A chuckle slips out. “I’ve never been good at the whole talking thing.”
“Nope.” He snorts. “But you’ve gotten better. Any idea why?”
There’s no need to think about my answer.
“Three months ago, I got a wakeup call that I desperately needed. Hurt like hell, but I was reminded about who I am outside of baseball.”
Jimmy smiles. “Around the time you signed a new agent, huh?”
We both know it.
“It’s sad,” I say, shaking my head. “I ended things to make life easier on her, and look at us now.”
He hums. “Did you ask her if ending things would make things easier for her, or did you just assume it would?” My silence is answer enough, and he takes my hand. “You were drowning and didn’t want to take her down with you. It’s noble, but Shay has spent every day since you left trying to hide how she felt. Trying to forget you. That’s why I wasshocked when she became your agent. But seeing you together reminded me why you two worked so well.”
We never talked much about Shay, but Jimmy knew how I felt about her. Even before we decided to try for more, he knew I had fallen in love with my best friend’s best friend.
