His features go slack, as if my words don’t make sense. Saying them feels weird, but it’s the truth. Kenneth is the best rival and friend I could have asked for, and he deserves to know it.
“I was sure we were going to kill each other when Dr. Martin paired us together, and we still might kill each other depending on the results, but this partnership has been the biggest surprise to me. I originally wanted it to crash and burn, but it’s done the exact opposite.
“Competing with you is the most fun part of my life. Honestly, being with you is special, no matter what we’re doing. Every day you get better, and I thought I’d feel threatened by that. Instead, I’m glad I’ve been given a front row seat to watch you shine. In the pool. In class. Everywhere.” My voice breaks slightly, but I push forward. “I finally feel like I know the real Kenneth Gray. Long story short, I’m sorry. I wish I could take all my bullshit back, and I hope you’ll forgive me.”
Shit. I didn’t apologize. I went on a full-blown tangent, and by the way he’s speechless, I’m sure I went too far.
As someone who never truly trusted apologies, I’ve always overcompensated by apologizing for every little thing, usually going overboard.
“Hey,” Kenneth finally whispers. “Can I tell you something?”
“Not if it’s that you don’t forgive me…”
He chuckles in that low way that makes me feel dizzy. “I’m not going to tell you that, because you never needed my forgiveness. I have loved every moment with you. Cherished every second we’ve spent together. Moving forward and making new memories is all that matters to me now. Seeing you with my grandma and sister. Swimming here with you. Seeing you every day, even when there’s no reason to be together.”
“I want that too,” I admit. “Friends is—”
“No,” he cuts me off, his voice barely audible. “Friends don’t make each other feel likethis.”
The hairs along my arms rise. “Feel like what?”
Kenneth takes my hands in his, and my legs turn to gelatin when he says the words I’m sure will change us forever.
“Like losing you would feel like losing part of myself.”
The honesty in his voice flips my whole world upside down. I look away, staring at our linked hands. His freckled thumb rubs mine gently, each stroke another silent reminder that he’s serious.
No words come, even though everything inside me wants to agree because I feel the same way. Friends don’t make each other feel like this. I know that much is true.
Because I’ve only ever felt this way with him.
“You don’t have to say anything,” he says, releasing me. “Tonight was a lot. The party, these amazing gifts, watching you make my dad speechless for the first time ever. Everything about today was so special.” Kenneth runs a hand through his hair. “Forget everything I said. Please. Being friends with you is everything to me. As long as I get to be around you, I’m happy.”
“Kenneth.” I wring my hands, trying to replicate the warmth of his fingers intertwined with mine. “Do you really want me to forget what you said, or can I answer?”
He winces. “It depends on what you’re going to say.”
My mind screams at me to not speak. To let the conversation die now. To stay nothing more than friends who compete. But my heart longs for him. Every inch of the kind, thoughtful, and intelligent man standing before me.
“Disliking each other was safe. Rivals was safe. Friends felt safe at first. Now it feels like we’re moving toward something I didn’t plan on feeling ever again.”
“Is that a bad thing?” he asks, and I shrug. “What do you know then, Eddie?”
“That you were going to kiss me during the scavenger hunt,” I say. “And again during The Dip.”
“And every moment in between to be honest,” he confesses, making all the air leave my lungs. “All I do is think about you. Being with you. Making sure you’re happy. And if it’s not clear, I like you, Mallory. So much. I find myself talking about you to anyone who will listen. It’s painfully obvious how I feel about you.” He drags his thumb over my bottom lip. “It’s always been you.”
I lean into his touch, even though I shouldn’t. We haven’t had the talk. Kenneth doesn’t know I need a copilot. Not just another guy who promises me the world but can’t back it up when life gets hard.
Every coherent thought vanishes when he leans down, and my back arches slightly as his fingertips graze my spine. I track the slow drag of his tongue over his bottom lip, desperate to know if they’re as soft as they look.
“We can walk away right now and go back to being friends, Eddie. Whatever you want is what I’ll do. You’re in control here.”
Once again, my comfort is his main priority, and it solidifies my next action.
I kiss him.
I kiss him because I want to. Because I need to. Because it’s all I think about. Because I like him too.
