I reach for my glass of water and swallow my disappointment. “So, how did you figure out your passion in life? Was it after your diagnosis?”
She drums her fingers against the table. “No. It was right around the time my dad started dialysis. I knew I wanted to work in healthcare, but I didn’t have any specific plans. My dad’s endocrinologist let me shadow her, which was how I learned about a camp for kids with diabetes. I expected my counselor application to be ignored since I was only thirteen, but the director, Saul, offered me a position working with him. He was the local health department’s community health worker, acting as a liaison between healthcare providers and the community.”
I nod. “You told Dr. Martin that choosing nutrition as a major was a selfish choice. Why is that?”
“Because it was just supposed to be a transcript booster.” A dreamy smile brightens her face. “Then I met Bex, who showed me another way to help people, the way I wish someone would have helped my dad before it was too late. It’s all I’ve ever wanted to do. Help people.”
I take a deep breath, taking in all the information I’m learning. Mallory’s motivations are so similar to mine. Wanting to help people, driven by the people that we love.
“You’re going to do amazing things, Eddie.”
“It’s exactly what you’re going to do for people with MS. I bet Nan is so proud of you.”
Being reminded of Nan and the fact that I haven’t told her about my dad’s threat makes me choke on the guilt I’ve worked hard to bury over the last few months. Nan would be so disappointed in me.
“And what would you do if the plan you’ve created and worked hard for suddenly changed?”
Her lips pucker as if she’s eaten something rancid. “Honestly, I’d cry and scream into my pillow for hours. But then I’d fight like hell and bet on myself to make sure that it doesn’t happen.”
“Bet on yourself?” I ask. “What do you mean?”
“My dad used to say it a lot when I was younger. I never knew what he meant, but it all clicked this semester, because there are no backup plans when it comes to my dreams. It’s why I need to win this internship. If I don’t…” She trails off, and the fear in her face melts away when she looks at me. “Hey, are you okay? You don’t look so good.”
I look away before I tell her everything about my dad. I can’t. Tonight is supposed to be about us, and that will ruin everything.
Reaching into my backpack, I grab my ticket and slide it to her. “Thanks for sharing that with me. I’m sure that betting on yourself will always be the right decision.”
With a loud crunch, the third and final punch is made. My three mandatory meetings with Mallory are up, but for some reason, she doesn’t look happy. If anything, she looks disappointed. Maybe even a little restless as she stares at the ticket.
“Hey, Gray. Can I ask you a question?”
“You already did,” I tease, leaning in at her hushed tone. “Of course.”
“If you could go back, would you play the Brain Bowl again?”
I was worried it was going to be a hard question, but this one is easy. “Without a doubt.”
I don’t miss the one-word question she whispers.
“Why? Because everything has always been decided for me by my father. Before I came to CLU, I felt numb. I was just going through the motions of life. I didn’t think coming to Clear Lake would change anything, but then I met you, Eddie. And although our first conversation wasn’t pleasant, being with you made me feel something. Two weeks later, I’m bragging about getting the higher Bio 101 quiz grade. Three days later, you demolished me at tic-tac-toe in a study room. A week later, I beat you at Monopoly, and you threw the thimble at my head. Honestly, I wouldn’t change a thing.”
Mallory is going places. When she leaves CLU, I don’t want to be left behind. I want to watch Mallory soar and excel, all while standing right beside her. Rooting for her, celebrating her highs, and holding her during the lows.
As expected, she avoids my kindness with humor. “Not even when I threw a dodgeball at your face, and you punched Cade because you thought it was him?”
“Not even then,” I laugh. “Well, I do regret one thing. I’m sorry—”
“No!” The chair screeches against the floor as she leaps up, slapping her palm over my mouth. “Are you going to apologize again? I can’t handle any more of your perfect apologies.”
I move her hand but keep ahold of it. “Listen to me, Ed. I shouldn’t have let us go on for years only playing the game. I should’ve spoken up and said that’s not what I want. And I’m sorry for calling you rainbow vomit thirty seconds after meeting you. You didn’t look like rainbowvomit. You looked perfect. I was upset with my dad and took it out on you, which was wrong of me. Truthfully, I was intimidated.”
“By me?” She scoffs. “Why? You were the six-foot-three, hot swimmer everyone on campus was obsessed with.”
My smile slants into a smirk. “You thought I was hot?”
She slugs my shoulder. “As I was saying, why?”
I meet her eyes, hoping she knows I mean every word, and I plan to spend every day proving it to her.
