After a bit of convincing, Kenneth agrees to a lukewarm shower. I offered to warm up some chicken noodle soup, but it’s clear the word chicken will likely trigger his gag reflex for the foreseeable future.
I drop a slice of bread into the toaster, struggling to shove the knob down when Cade’s arm reaches around me and expertly pushes it into place.
I grab a banana and point it between his eyes. “It’s been three years. Get a new toaster. They’re less than twenty bucks at any store.”
Cade affectionately pats the hunk of junk. “No way! We’ve got history. Almost catching the dorm on fire. Falling out of Kent’s truck on the highway. Annoying the hell out of you.”
“That last one is your main reason for keeping it.”
“You know it.” He rests his chin on the top of my head. “How’s he doing?”
“Good. I think we’re out of the woods. After he showers, I’ll see if he can hold down some food and water.”
Cade looks down the hallway. “I’ve known Kenneth since before we could write our own names, and I have to say, he’s never been like this. Not once.”
“Sick?” I ask. “Sounds like you guys haven’t hit all the friendship milestones. Are you sure you don’t want to clean his vomit?”
“Tempting, but no. And I’m talking about the way he looks at you.” Snatching the banana, he sets it aside and steals an almond from my plate. “We haven’t gotten to talk just us in a while. How are you feeling about dating again?”
Cade may be Kenneth’s best friend, but he’s also mine. I know whatever I say today will never leave these walls.
I take a quick peek at the hallway and sigh. “Honestly, I was perfectly content never dating again, Cader Tot. Celibacy and singleness were going to follow me to the grave. To be honest, I’m the weirdest mix of entirely secure and freaking the hell out.”
He chews on an almond before snapping his fingers. “I have an idea. Tell me the worst-case scenario when it comes to dating Kenneth?”
“No way, Cade,” I groan. “I’m not doing this with you. I’d rather not think about it.”
Any more than I already am.
“You already are. I know you, MalPal.” He back pedals until he reaches the counter behind him. “What’s the worst thing that big brain of yours is torturing you with?”
I avert my eyes. “The past—”
“Nuh-uh,” Cade cuts me off, and I yelp when an almond hits my forehead. “Jordan is an asshole who didn’t deserve you. Kenneth is not him, and he never will be.”
“I know that,” I swear. “Kenneth is perfect, Cade. I would never compare them.”
“Good.” He tosses an almond into the air and catches it in his mouth before continuing. “Then tell me your best-case scenario when it comes to dating him?”
I don’t even have to think about it. “I want it all. The best-case scenario is getting to be with him. To be his.”
My voice is so soft that I barely realize I said it out loud, but every part of Cade’s smile tells me he heard it.
“And your worst-case scenario?”
I pause. Originally, my biggest fear was losing control of my heart, but that’s not the case anymore.
“Not being fun enough for Kenneth. To me, he looks like freedom. I’ve never met someone so fun, Cade, and I’m not. It’s nice when I’m with him though, because I feel like I can be. Then I wake up and remember that I’m scared, inflexible, and everything he isn’t. What happens when he realizes that too?”
He looks over his shoulder toward the bathroom. “MalPal, that guy in there believes you’re the best thing to ever happen to him. Kenneth wasn’t going to be okay when the Brain Bowl ended. For him, graduation wasn’t just the finish line for undergrad. It also meant losing you, which I was sure would shatter his heart.”
I freeze. “Then why did he keep playing if he knew it wouldhurt him?”
“For you. Seeing you celebrate when you win. Watching you pout when you lose. To him, it was always worth it because he got to be around you. He got to have fun with you. Your worst-case scenario will never, ever happen.”
My cheeks burn. “Are you lying to make me feel better?”
“I would never do that to you,” Cade promises, wrapping his arms around me.
