“Most valets don’t attend schools like Eton.” Eton was primarily attended by the aristocracy and wealthy gentry, perhaps some ambitious upper-middle-class professionals. But a servant? Unheard of. Which meant Sam belonged to one of those classes.
“Who is your family, Sam?”
Sam looked away, his fingers tapping on the top of the settee back.
Felix didn’t want secrets between them. He wanted Sam to be able to rely on him. Sam was such a support for Felix; all he wanted was to try to be that in return.
“Will you at least tell me what happened?” Felix whispered.
52
Sam
Whoisyourfamily?Will you at least tell me what happened?
Those were loaded questions. But Felix deserved answers. It was just a matter of how much Sam felt comfortable revealing. The only person who knew the truth, the full truth, was Ash. That Samuel Thorne was actually Sampson Trenton. The third son of Viscount Trenton. The grandson of the Earl of Dalreoch—a Scottish Earl whose sole child was Sam’s mother, the heir to the Earldom. A family of dual titles.
A family who, when Sam needed them the most, turned against him.
Sam looked back at Felix. Apprehension swirled in those amber irises, those even white teeth gnawing furiously at his bottom lip. Sam leaned forward and quickly popped the lip free from its prison with his thumb.
“Stop doing that,” he whispered. “No one hurts you, not even yourself.”
Sam dusted his knuckles over Felix’s freckled cheekbone, his chest whirring at the way Felix leaned into the touch. “I’m not sure how much I want to divulge, Fee.”
He dropped his hand, and he let out a sigh. “But the gist of it is, I come from a family of notable standing. They discovered me with a man. He claimed I forced myself on him. My neck was the price for silence. He wouldn’t use his influence to destroy my family. They would ensure he was in no way touched by my conviction.” Sam’s voice wavered. “My family handed me over without a second thought.”
Felix’s eyes had gone wide, two large amber saucers. His lips parted but no words surfaced. Sam smiled sadly, because what else could one do? And the cherry atop of the whole bloody trifle? The man in question ended up ruining his reputation anyhow, gambled away his fortune and was forced to flee before his debtors sent someone to collect in blood.
“And then what…” Felix’s voice caught. “What happened after they gave you up?”
“I was sitting in a crowded cell in Newgate, set to hang, when Ash somehow sprung me free. I don’t know who he paid or how much coin exchanged hands, but it was enough to ensure complete silence. Because no one has ever found out that the Duke of Devonford freed…” He trailed off, almost admitting the truth of who he was.
Felix’s face was devoid of color, his freckles a stark dark-brown. “I-I—” He blinked. “I…”
Sam’s thoughts exactly. There were no words for what had been done to Sam. For that kind of betrayal.
Fee’s shuttered exhale echoed around them. “You,” he managed hoarsely. “You were set to hang?” His voice was so weak, so full of pained understanding.
“Days away.”
Felix’s audible swallow was loud in the quiet of the library. “And you were eighteen?” he whispered.
Sam nodded. “Unfortunately, even though I had a family who could have protected me, they chose not to because of mydisgustingproclivities.” He cleared his throat roughly. “I should add, I most definitely didnotforce myself on that man. But he wanted to save his own neck, at the expense of mine.”
Felix shook his head violently. “Not for one minute. Not for one second did I ever think you had. The only thought that crossed my mind was that man was a lying bastard. A coward.”
Sam lifted a shoulder and let it drop. “It’s the way of things, though, isn’t it? A nobleman found with another man? Shove him away and cry rape. A nobleman’s daughter caught with a footman? Same story. When a person’s life and reputation are on the line, they’ll do anything to save their own hide.”
“I hate to agree with you, but I know how common that is,” Felix murmured. His lips pulled back in a grimace. “An abuse of power.” His gaze met Sam’s, sadness shining there. “I see now why our imbalance of power made you feel so uncomfortable. I don’t want you to ever feel as though you are in that position with us, Sam. We’ll find you a position. We’ll ensure you are fully independent. But even so, if we were ever discovered…”
Sam gave a quick shake of his head. He could see the words in Felix’s steady amber stare. Knew what he was about to say, and his heart splintered at the same time it swelled against his breastbone.
“I’d do everything in my power to make it go away for us,” Felix said, his voice as solemn as Sam had ever heard it. “But if for whatever reason we couldn’t flee, couldn’t avoid it. I’d be right there by your side, Sam. If I could offer my neck to save yours,thatis what I would do. But otherwise… We may not legally be able to marry, but for better or for worse, I’d stand by your side.”
He’d hang by Sam’s side.
A well of emotion surged in Sam, as painful as it was beautiful. To know that Felix’s love matched Sam’s own. To know the lengths he would go to for Sam, with Sam. But even the mere thought of that fate for Felix had a cloying panic filling his throat, seeping into his lungs, stealing his oxygen. Never. He’dneverlet it come to that.
