A small snicker escaped her lips. “Because you areutterlyadorable. And such a wonderful father.”
She dusted her knuckles over his cheek, and he couldn’t stop himself from closing his eyes and leaning into it. But her next words had his eyes flying open.
“But Ash, darling, I have not once been late in my courses.”
His heart and his stomach started up a competition for who could tumble around inside Ash the wildest. “So— You are saying…” He swallowed audibly.
“Most likely, yes. Precautions are not foolproof, love. But it sounds as though you are coming around to the idea…”
He was. He was when it wasan idea. But now? Now it wasreal. No. Absolutely not. He jumped up and strode to his dressing room. Bloody hell. Felicity was with child. Bloodyfuckinghell.
He grabbed a pair of trousers and stomped his feet into them. God bloody damn it. This could not be happening. He had wanted time to discuss. Then they would have both agreed: Yes, children were a great idea. And then they would have planned it all out. In a way that allowed Ash to come to terms with the fact and obtain a grip on his fear.
He whipped a shirt over his head, his pulse tapping erratically against his throat. Shite, shite,shite. What if he lost her? He couldn’t lose her. His heart twisted, tightened, like a cloth being wrung out. Oh God, he was going to be sick.
The soft press of hands landed on his chest, drifting up to his neck. “Ash, darling, breathe with me.” Felicity’s gaze locked on his and her shoulders rose in a deep, gradual breath, and then her lips parted and a slowwhooshof lemon-scented air puffed over him.
He mimicked her and managed a semblance of a normal breath, though it was still particularly choppy.
“Again,” she murmured.
That one was better.
“We’ll get through this together, Ash.”
He dropped his forehead to hers. They had to.
“Do you really think something like childbirth could fell me?” she whispered against his lips. “Am I not your warrior? Your goddess? What kind of goddess would I be if I let something so common conquer me?”
He let out a small huff. She did have a point there. Unfortunately, his panic was still nowhere near close to dissipating. He needed to see Sam. He needed a hard ride. No, what he needed was a swim, but that wasn’t something he was going to be able to do in London.
“And Ash?”
He leaned back, shaking off his spiraling thoughts.
“You put your trousers on backward.”
He glanced down to where the fabric of his trousers sagged in front of him and he became distinctly aware of cool air on his arse. He smiled weakly. “I may have lost my composure.”
“Yes, just a touch,” she said, her lips pressing together to stave off her smile. She lifted and pressed a kiss to his lips. “I am assuming you are running off to see Sam in your alarm?”
She knew him frighteningly well. “Yes,” he said sheepishly.
“Go, try to ease your mind as best you can. I have a feeling the next nine months are going to give you quite a few more grey hairs.”
He closed his eyes and let out a low groan. He was worried about Felicity’s welfare, but he wasn’t truly certainhewas going to survive this.
“Go,” she ordered. “But bring Landon with you and your attire for tonight. You are in no uncertain terms to do anything to hinder Sam’s night with this. It is much too important. Lord knows how he’s doing with it all, given my brother is an utter clodpole.”
Ash grimaced as he walked over to the bell pull to ring for his valet. It was still deuced odd to have someone else dress him instead of Sam. But Felicity was correct. Sam’d had a hell of a year and with everything that had transpired over the past month, Ash would be there fully supporting his best mate.
He blew out a breath. Perhaps, it would also serve as an excellent distraction from the anxiety growing like a thorny vine around his lungs at the moment.
Fucking hell. He didn’t think he’d be able to breathe for the entirety of the nine terrifying months. Not until the babe was delivered and his child and wife were both alive and well.
44
Epilogue – Felicity
