I did not know how long it had been before I shifted to lean against his shoulder. “Are you nervous?” I asked.
“About what?” Reiter asked, closing his book and setting it aside, as if I was the most important thing in the world right now.
“If I were to go look for your skull at the Van Tassel estate.”
He was silent for a moment before he replied, “I am not nervous for myself.”
“Then what is it?” I asked.
“I am nervous that I might lose you. I could even say I was afraid.”
I started a bit at that. “You are afraid you might lose me?”
“Yes,” Reiter said. His fingers reached up to trail down my cheek gently. “I love you, Ichabod Crane. I am certain of it now. I know that is perhaps not fair of me to say, considering both of our circumstances, but I feel I should be honest with you.”
I swallowed hard. While his confession was not surprising, considering our conversation not long ago, it suddenly felt like a large responsibility had been placed on my shoulders. For what, though, I could not tell.
Reiter’s eyes turned toward the ground. “I apologize if that puts you in an awkward position. I do not expect you to love me back.”
“Reiter,” I said, and his gaze met mine again. “I… Please do not mistake my silence for rejection. I simply am… overwhelmed by all of these new feelings.”
Reiter smiled weakly. “I am sure that your feelings, coupled to the precarious situation you are in, are rather distressing.”
I hesitated. “I am not sure what I am feeling,” I admitted. “Had we met in different circumstances, before this curse upon both of us, I believe that I would have relished a companion such as you. But I do not know that I would ever have acted on any feelings, due to the nature of the world, and my own trepidations.”
Reiter reached up a hand to cup my cheek. “There is no one else here but me,” he said, his palm warm against my face before his fingertips glided down my jaw to my throat.
I inhaled softly. What if I died in the coming days? I had never considered myself to be a romantic, but death was a very real possibility. And if I was gone, Reiter would once again be alone, blamed for the attacks on the villagers. “Reiter,” I said, reaching up to catch his hand, entwining our fingers together. “You are afraid of losing me. I would not wish to break your heart if that were to happen.”
Reiter smiled sadly. “My heart would still be broken, even if you dropped dead this very moment.”
That made me draw in a gasp of air. “I do not wish to hurt you.”
“I know,” Reiter said. “And I wish to protect you. I know that may damn me to an eternity of misery, but if this is the time we have together, I will treasure it, even if you want nothing more to do with me.”
I immediately pulled him into my arms. “You did not abandon me in my hour of need, and I will not leave you to tread this darkness alone.” I pressed my cheek to his shoulder, resting it there. “But if this all the time I have left, I would spend it with you.”
His hand not holding his head rested in the center of my back, stroking up and down soothingly. “I would like that.”
We were silent in each other’s embrace for a few minutes before I asked, “Would you… show me what I have been missing?”
Reiter blinked, lifting his head up so he was eye level with me. “What?”
My face was hot as I replied, “If I am not to have a future, I believe I would like to experience-” what was the name bestowed by zealous preachers? “-carnal desire.”
Reiter stiffened for a moment, then relaxed again, a soft smile playing over his lips. “If you wish it.”
I cleared my throat uneasily. “Do not think me entirely naïve. I know how… that… happens. I am just unsure if I am ready for it.”
Reiter brushed his hand lightly over my shoulder. “There are many ways to be intimate withoutthat. Shall I show you?”
My cheeks flushed hot. “I would like that.”
“You only have to tell me if you wish to stop,” Reiter said, leaning in and lifting his head to my lips to press a kiss to them. “I would not ever want you to be scared or uncomfortable with me.”
“You are such a gentleman,” I said, my voice teasing to try to hide the nervousness that fluttered in my stomach.
Reiter laughed and kissed me again before pulling back. “We can start slowly. We do not even have to undress fully, if that would be more comfortable for you.”
