“Would you rather I take Lai with me, i-sha?”
A’bbni glanced over at Lai, who gazed back at him, the expression in his green eyes unreadable. Shi’chen was sure that the anxiety of the two people he cared about most in the world leaving on a dangerous mission would be overwhelming, but Shi’chen knew he also trusted both of them more than anyone to protect each other. Lai had protected Shi’chen on the ship before ever knowing who he was. “Yes,” A’bbni said softly, curling against Shi’chen’s chest and tucking his head beneath his brother’s chin in a warm hug.
“Then I will,” Shi’chen said softly, glancing at Lai over A’bbni’s head. Lai gave him a small smile. “Let’s hear your plan.”
Chapter twenty
A'bbni
Thatnight,A’bbnicurledup in the bedroom that he had requested from Zea’dda for him and Lai to share. He had tried to fall asleep, but his mind was racing in circles. There were so many things that could go wrong, so many people who could be hurt. And he had to think about every single one of them, even if he didn’t want to. It was just the nature of how his mind worked; plan for everything.
After a while, Lai’s lips pressed lightly to the tip of his ear. “I know you’re awake. Do you need to talk?”
A’bbni sighed and rolled over to face him in the dark, the light from beyond the door catching the beautiful green of Lai’s eyes. “I don’t know,” he said softly. “I don’t like any of this.”
Lai slid his hand up to gently stroke A’bbni’s curls away from his forehead. “Do you think something will happen?”
“No…” A’bbni leaned into the touch. “I don’t know what I’m feeling.”
Lai leaned down and gently pressed his lips to A’bbni’s, his thumb stroking lightly up the back of A’bbni’s ear. “You don’t have to know everything,” he said softly.
A’bbni tipped his head so Lai’s hand moved to his cheek, reaching his own hand up to hold it there. “I… I’m afraid,” he finally said, his breath catching at the admission he had never said out loud, even to his brother.
“What are you afraid of?” Lai asked gently, pulling him back into his arms. A’bbni leaned his head against Lai’s chest, his ear flicking a bit as he caught the beat of Lai’s heart beneath it.
“All of it,” A’bbni said softly, wrapping his hands around one of the arms that held him. “Losing Shi’chen. Losing you. Being hurt again. Failing the people who are relying on us.”
Lai pressed a soft kiss to A’bbni’s forehead. “But if you don’t try, you won’t succeed, right? Isn’t that what courage is?”
A’bbni sighed and closed his eyes. “Yes. But foolishness often masquerades as courage.”
Lai let out a soft snort of laughter that made A’bbni open his eyes and smile at him, his hand sliding up to caress Lai’s cheek lovingly. “It’s all right to be afraid,” Lai said gently, his hand catching A’bbni’s and holding it against his face.
A’bbni leaned up to kiss his lips softly. “Make me forget?”
Lai blinked at him in the dim light before smiling and leaning in to nibble lightly on the tip of A’bbni’s right ear, which he had found was a spot that made A’bbni squirm and whimper with pleasure. His tongue tickled the rounded point there as he shifted to rest lightly on top of him, his hands sliding down to hold A’bbni’s waist. A’bbni made a soft keening sound that he obviously was trying to muffle, considering they were not alone in the house, his hands sliding up to clutch at Lai’s shoulders.
Lai trailed his tongue lightly down the edge of A’bbni’s ear, then dropped several kisses on his jaw before their lips met again, a little firmer this time. His fingers slid down to tangle in the hem of A’bbni’s tunic and slowly pull it up. He dipped his head down and trailed kisses over A’bbni’s stomach, and A’bbni clapped a hand to his mouth to keep his noises quiet. Lai laughed softly and looked up at him. “You know you don’t have to be silent.”
A’bbni opened his mouth to respond, then caught his lower lip with his teeth to stifle a whimper as Lai’s teeth grazed over the soft skin of his chest, then drifted over to one dark nipple, giving it a loving caress with his tongue. “We aren’t exactly alone,” he said once he was not making unintended noises.
“I have a feeling we’ll never actually be alone,” Lai pointed out, his fingers moving to the ties of A’bbni’s pants, deftly undoing them with practiced fingers.
A’bbni supposed he had a point. It had never concerned him before when he had been in the palace. There were always servants and guards around. He wondered if their weeks of anonymity and privacy had made him wish for it more. It wasn’t exactly like goblins were prudish most of the time either, but something about being alone with Lai, just the two of them, not having to worry about being seen or overheard, was so much more appealing. He leaned up and pressed his lips to Lai’s as he slid the shirt off him, Lai’s smooth skin beautiful in the dim light. He lifted his hips as Lai slid his pants down and off his legs, pressing kisses to his thighs as he went.
Lai’s hand slid down over the crease of his inner leg, and A’bbni felt himself suddenly tense just a bit. He let out a breath, his fingers curling into Lai’s hair, closing his eyes. The touch was so gentle, so soft, it made him shiver. Lai’s fingers skimmed over his hips, teasing lightly at his shaft, then drifting lower to fondle his balls, making A’bbni writhe under the touch. Until Lai’s fingers slid between his cheeks to lightly skim against him. A’bbni froze, his breath catching in his throat as the scent of blood and death suddenly filled his nose, feeling the gape of a slack mouth and cloudy eyes watching him. Lai looked up with a frown as he suddenly went rigid under him. “A’bbni?” he asked softly. “Are you all right?”
He knew he was being ridiculous. It was Lai, someone who had never hurt him before. He squeezed his eyes shut, hearing the hammering of his heart in his ears, his hands curling into fists in the sheets below him. He struggled to take in a breath, shifting to curl his legs against his chest.
“Hey, A’bbni, breathe,” Lai said softly but firmly, his hands moving to rest on the sheets by his knees, keeping them away from the prince.
A’bbni forced his eyes open to meet Lai’s, his breath leaving him in a gasp of air. “I… I’m sorry…”
“Don’t apologize!” Lai said. “Gods, it’s not your fault. Did I hurt you?”
A’bbni shook his head slowly. “N… No… No, you didn’t hurt me…”
Lai slowly moved his hand over to grab his pillow, holding it out to A’bbni. The prince took it, hugging it to his chest and pulling his legs back up again. “Do you want me to go get Shi’chen?”
