“Did they make a mistake?” Belanna asked.
Viking Viktor stared at me, still fiddling with his beard. “They never have before.”
“Could she have a power she doesn’ know about?”
“It’s unlikely. But possible.”
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” I raked my fingers through my hair, digging my nails into my scalp. “People don't havesuperpowers. I mean, unless you count being able to consume an entire large pizza as a superpower...”
“What is a pizza?” Kaelan asked. “You used that word earlier too.”
“It’s only the best invention since the goddamn wheel!” My voice sounded screechy. “And it’s been around for, like,centuries!How do you not know what pizza is?”
“Poor lass.” Belanna rested the arrow against her shoulder. “Yer looking unsteady. Best be careful ye don’t fall.”
I didn’t even realize how much I was swaying until Viking Viktor reached for my arm, trying to stabilize me.
“No!” I flew backward and immediately regretted it when the earth tilted sideways. I weebled. And wobbled…but I didn’t fall down (har, har).
Viking Viktor started to say something (likely my name), but I cut him off. “No!I—” my breath hitched as a spasm clutched my chest. “Fuck, I think I’m having a heart attack.” Black spots burst before my eyes as I doubled over, bracing my hands on my knees.
“Ye want water?” Belanna asked.
“No,” I grunted.
“Ye want somethin’ stronger?”
“Can I? Wait. No. Don’t tempt me. I’m not desperate enough to take drinks from strangers.Yet.I’m—I’m freaking out here, okay? Like, where am I? Real answer this time. Don’t pull a random word out of your ass and call it a country. Who are you people? Is this a cult? It’s totally a cult. Right? That’s why you’ve never seen cars, or cellphones, orpizza.Jesus…look, I won’t tell anyone. You won’t have the cops breaking up your pervy lifestyle. Scout’s honor. I—I just want to go home.” I gasped as I finished because I’d spouted the words at warp speed without taking a breath in between. My vision blurred. I blinked rapidly and got the tears under control, but my breathing was still out of whack. With every inhale, my throat made ahic-hicnoise. And it hurt.
Viking Viktor watched me, his nose slightly wrinkled, as though someone was holding a bag of cat shit beneath his nostrils and he was trying to block the smell. Or like he was thinking hard enough to make his brain melt. “I can’t answer you,” he said, “if you don’t give me a chance to speak.”
I straightened up, thrumming my hand against my too-tight chest. “Well, I’m done now. The floor’s all yours.” Until I got my breath back, at least.
“This place is called Sakar, as I’ve already mentioned.” Viking Viktor had such aslowdrawl. Took him for-freaking-ever to get the words out.
I was gonna have a heart attack before he finished talking.
“More specifically,” he continued, “we’re in the country of Bafrus—and I assure you, none of these names were‘pulled out of my ass.’”
Ooh, that smug, snarky bastard.
“Unfortunately, the capital city, Cynerik, has been overrun with Wraiths. The rest of Bafrus isn’t fairing any better.” Viking Viktor swallowed. “We’re moving the survivors to Netheridge.”
“N-Netheridge?” I stuttered.
“Our neighbor to the east,” Belanna supplied.
At the same time, Viking Viktor said, “The largest country in Sakar.”
My head was officially spinning.Again.“You guys are trolling me, right?” These names had to be made up.Hadto be. I mean,Bafrus?Sounded way too close to Barf-us.Netheridge?Did a nine-year-old pick that one?
I turned, half expecting someone to jump out from behind the trees and shove a camera in my face.Surprise! It’s the new reality show! Chubby girl gets thrown into an epic sword-and-sorcery fantasy. Will she survive? Start streaming to find out!
But there were no cameras. I couldn’t even see power lines or any evidence of modern technology. There was just the sky, the trees, and the weird Viking people.
Kaelan stared at the ground as he dragged the toe of his boot through the dead leaves. Belanna had a sad smile on her face, and her gray eyes were amiable, but she said nothing.
“Cars,” Viking Viktor droned, “cell phones and pizzaare things from your world. They do not exist here.” He continued twining his finger around the frazzled ends of his beard. “If I could send you home, I would. But a Celestial brought you here, and only a Celestial can bring you back. It’s likely you’ll never go home again.” For a second, he almost looked sad. But then a shadow passed over his face. His mouth hardened as he dropped his hand away from his beard. “And I haveneverraped, nor thought about raping, a woman.”
