“I’m listening,” I said, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge on the other side of the room. When I turned around, he was watching me carefully, making me wonder just how much he’d seen after all. He wasn’t exactly the pensive type.
“Well,” he said with a burdened sigh, like this was physically hurting him, “Bells is gonna be disappointed if you don’t ask her to the formal, and I had a feeling you wouldn’t, so I’m here to make sure you do.” His words rushed out all at once, like he’d rehearsed it. “For the record, Ididalready ask her. I just think we should both take her. It would…” He paused to sigh again. “It would make her happy.”
For a moment, I just stared at him blankly, convinced I’d heard him wrong. When I realized that wasn’t the case, I decided he was just fucking with me, as usual, but there was something disconcertingly genuine in his tone.
Once I realized he was serious, anger spurned by humiliation flared up within me. I was still coming down off the adrenaline spike, and definitely not in the mood for… whatever this was. Pity. Condescension. All the same flavor coming from him.
“Fuck off,” I muttered, stalking past him.
He grabbed my arm and I froze because I didn’t trust myself not to lash out while I was still in the zone from training.
“Do you realize how much it took for me to talk to you about this?” the werewolf demanded. “I’m not gonna let you walk away. The little lady wants to go with both of us. Maybeyoudon’t see it, but I’ve seen the way she looks at you while you’re tutoring her. I see it because it pisses me off.”
The moment he touched me, a combination of rage and something else I didn’t even want to think about rushed through my veins. My hatred of him was so intense, sometimes I questioned if it was a form of madness. The fact that he could give Bells everything I couldn’t, from a date who wouldn’t make her the object of gossip to keeping her warm in bed. Then there was the fact that I knew she was afraid of me ever since she’d seen the evidence of my thirst. I’d never hated what I was more than I did now, and the fact that I was a subpar vampire just added insult to injury.
“I don’t need a pity date, especially not one arranged by you,” I spat. I wasn’t even going to acknowledge the other part. It was too absurd.
“I’m not arranging anything,” he snapped back. “I’m just letting you know you have a chance, if you’re man enough to take it. And not a complete fucking idiot.”
I narrowed my eyes, seething, but if I didn’t pull back, I was going to lose my temper. I refused, if only because I didn’t want him to know he had that kind of power over me. As the anger began to subside, I realized he was actually being sincere, for better or worse. “Why do you care? You want her to yourself. This is the perfect opportunity.”
“Of course I do,” he growled, suddenly seeming to realize he still had me by the arm. He let me go. “But she cares for you, whether I like it or not, and she’s gonna be thinking about you the whole damn time if I take her to the formal alone. I want her to have fun. She’s had a rough time.”
I considered his words and realized he was right, as much as my pride wanted to deny it. The only thing worse than being the object of Bells’ pity was being the reason she was upset. She certainly didn’t need any more of those.
“I’ll think about it,” I finally conceded.
“Good,” he muttered, straightening out his jacket like we’d just had a physical altercation. His gaze lingered warily on my mask for a second before he turned to leave, muttering something unintelligible under his breath.
I thought of asking what he’d said, but decided against it. Probably nothing I wanted to know.
Chapter 19
Bells
I slept in late,even though my dreams were nothing I wanted to linger on. Ever since that awful session with the husk, I had the same nightmare in some form or another. The scene in the ritual chamber repeated ad nauseum, each time finding a more horrible conclusion.
The one thing all the dreams had in common was him. The man who’d been prepared to sacrifice me while looking directly into my eyes without a hint of remorse.
That morning, I thought of skipping my first class, if only because my stomach was full of butterflies. It was just an extra study period prior to exams, and I told myself I was just worried about passing. With Alistair’s help, I shouldn’t have been too worried, but deep down, I knew there was more than academic anxiety at play.
The truth was, I had a sense of impending doom that wouldn’t budge no matter how I tried to rationalize it away. The only time it subsided was at night, as I slept between Dean and Alistair, knowing nothing and no one could get to me.
I hated feeling weak. I hated that I needed them, even if I had grown to need them in ways far more than just the practical, but with no power to speak of and being no closer to learning the truth about what I was, it felt like my hands were tied. I was only allowed in the most basic training classes, but the moment I’d decided to ask Alistair if he would be willing to teach me in that regard, he’d all but disappeared.
Eventually, I dragged myself out of bed, if only because I needed the distraction and didn’t want to stay in the empty block. Ours was the only one in use in the hall, so it felt too vulnerable when the guys were gone.
My early morning classes went well, even though trying to focus during study hall was a lost cause. Maddie was in a cheerful mood, which was saying something, considering she was already the living embodiment of sunshine. She wanted me to come over to her dorm that night to help her pick out what to wear, and even though I assured her she could turn up in a paper bag and Silas would still look at her like she hung the stars, she was still a bundle of nerves.
Halfway through our lunch break, my phone buzzed. I jolted and Maddie gave me a strange look.
“You okay?”
“I’m fine,” I said, opening the message. It wasn’t like anyone other than her and Dean texted me, and I’d been jumpy as hell lately. When I saw Alistair’s number pop up on screen, my heart immediately sank, afraid something was wrong.
The cryptic text message didn’t help. All it said was,Can you meet?
I hastily typed out a response.Okay, where?
