“Can we not talk of this?” I spluttered.
My girl narrowed her big brown eyes. “Why? You scared of babies and breeding? What a loser boy move.”
“I’m grossed out talking about my mama having sex.” I corrected. “Babies do not scare me.”
“Do you want any?” She was curious as she glanced between us. “Both of you? Kids? No Kids? An army full?”
I shrugged. “I love my family and the idea of making mini versions of myself is appealing, but I also know I lean more towards liking men than women. Children in the usual way were not a thing I thought about much. If it happens, then it does. If it doesn’t, that is fine with me, too.”
She nodded. “I reckon Atlas could get you pregnant. He has daddy energy, and his big dick does a wonderful job.”
“Maybe he could get you pregnant too, and we can see which of us produces the most powerful child? Then we could get them to battle.” I grinned as I played her games.
“Mine. Easy.” She snorted. “Yours would be all broody and handsome, but mine would be cool. And everybody knows cool is the best.”
Atlas untangled himself from the couch and got to his feet, hunting down his boots.
“Or how about I get nobody pregnant and we spend the rest of our lives on a beach, fucking and being irresponsible?” he said.
“That sounds good too,” Heather replied. “I’m currently not in the mood for procreating. I don’t see that changing in the foreseeable future either. Children are not something I’ve ever really wanted. But if I change my mind, then I will be the first to place my orders with both of you.”
“Orders?” Atlas snorted as he slid his boots on, readying himself for his routine check of the perimeter and all our cameras.
Heather handed over his car keys from the coffee table as she replied, “Yeah. I would have one of each, so it’s fair. Like we could just do each other until I’m knocked up, but you look so different that I feel like it would be obvious who was bio daddy and who was just the bonus daddy. So to make it super duper fair and fun, I get one off each of you. Two kids. Preferably girls, because boys suck.”
“You’ve just jinxed it,amore mio. You’re going to wind up carrying two sets of twins, and all of them will be boys.”
She groaned. “I would love them, but I would also give them princess names. Which feels mean, but that’s okay. Mommy issues are better than daddy issues.” She straightened up, all jokes gone. “But for real, though. Ireallydon’t think I want kids. Never have. Is that okay with both of you?”
“Definitely.” Atlas watched her as she suddenly scurried into the kitchen, grabbing a newspaper off the side.
I yawned and stretched out my limbs. “I am happy if you are happy, Heather. It’s your body and your choice. I’m down for whatever you want. Whether that means no kids, and abortions if accidents happen. Or having a baby and raising it right. I’m not fussy.”
She returned to us, newspaper in hand. “Instead of a kid, I was thinking I could get something better.”
“Hmm?” My head cocked.
“A dog. Another dog. So Mali has a dog friend to talk about dog things with.” She dropped the newspaper down on the coffee table, pointing to an ad taken by the local shelter. “There’s a dog there called Missy, and I know this sounds insane, and I’m by no means calling my best friend a bitch, but that feels like fate to me.”
“Missy is a four-year-old German Shepherd.” I read. “She’s friendly and great with other dogs. Her owner passed away, and she just needs a new loving home.”
“Human Missy loved dogs.” Heather said. “She was great with other people, too. Now she waxed, so was nowhere near as hairy. But I think that dog Missy will help fix the shattered pieces of my blackened heart.”
“If you want another dog, you can have another dog. You don’t need to beg.” Atlas grabbed the paper, found the number on the ad and saved it on his phone. “I’ll sort it in the morning the second they’re open.”
Her screams of delight and the kisses she gave us both were nice, but only slightly tainted by the fact she once again stuck on her favorite set of movies. The ones I now knew off by heart, and could barely stand to watch again.
“SpongeBob? Really?” I groaned. “Please,amore mio. Anything else. This film has been on way too many times. I can’t go through it again.” I would go through it again. Then again,and again for the rest of my life, if it made her happy. But it was still worth a shot of asking for an alternative.
Heather snickered. “It’s a masterpiece, Gio. You just don’t have good taste.”
Atlas chuckled, raising an eyebrow as he scrolled through his phone. “I don’t know,malyshka. SpongeBob might be a bit too highbrow for him.”
I snorted. “Right, because you’re such a connoisseur of culture, Mr Hadn’t-watched-a-film-till-he-was-nineteen.”
Heather sat up, feigning a look of seriousness. “Gio, I think if we put you in a SpongeBob episode, you’d be Plankton. Little and angry.”
I burst out laughing, gently shoving her with my knee. “Little? You’re literally half my size. Careful with that mouth of yours, menace.”
