“Just as you are having trouble controlling your Vampiric obsessions right now,” Quinn spoke with a tender gaze, “I am… having trouble controlling my passions, Ariana, these past weeks. My passions ran very hot for many years thanks to my old Royal Summer Fae magic. And because of my rebellious heat, I was punished by my old Master. My natural emotions were… forced to become buried under stillness, as I was trained over the years.”
“By your old Master Emiliana DiClario.” Ariana understood, though she didn’t see the entire picture. “But why is having your emotions open up now a bad thing?”
“Because there is a lot you do not know about me, Ariana.” Quinn responded as he ran a hand through his dark auburn hair in a strangely fretting gesture. Pulling back so they did not touch now, he gazed off into the night rather than look at her. “I have not always been a good man. If you had met me in a different season of my life, I have no doubt you would have hated me. You might still hate me if you learn more about my vastly long and tortured existence, about who I was then and what I did. There were many centuries of my life where I lived badly, and certain things… linger.”
“Does this have something to do with why Lucca is angry with you?” Ariana asked bluntly now, watching him.
“Yes.” Quinn spoke with a deep look as he glanced back to her. “Lucca hates me for how the Vampires changed me, Ariana. Because I had to be many things for my previous Master, to satisfy her demands. A lover at times, a jailor other times, the consummate host… even a torturer.”
“Torturer?!” Ariana blinked, her gaze sharpening on Quinn as her breath caught.
“Torturer.” He nodded as his dark eyes held hers, frank and awful. “There are many things humans and Fae get wrong about Vampires, but there are many things they get right. Very few Dark Havens are as egalitarian as mine, Ariana. And before I ruled this place, it wasn’t ahavenat all. Emiliana DiClario wasn’t just a bad Master, she was a horror. She was beautiful and powerful and did as she pleased with people. She ruled me for many centuries through my darker emotions, back when I was still furious about being a Vampire and losing my Summer Fae life. During that time, I came to perfect being evil… in a way that as a man now, I deeply regret.”
“Gods, what did she do to you?” Ariana asked, horrified.
“Too much.” Quinn spoke softly as a dark look came into his eyes – a look of rage and hate and fury. As he let even the smallest bit of those powerful emotions out now, his smoke-dark aura whirled, sparking red with his old Summer Fae magic before he calmed it with a deep inhalation. “I do not wish to speak of Emiliana’s many abuses of her power. Suffice to say that we all learned to control our emotions around her, because if we didn’t, there were consequences. As her chosen…lover… I needed to control my emotions more than most. I had to bury my opinions of her abuses deep, and my reactions, because if I didn’t… people got hurt.”
“She would punish others to punish you.” Ariana spoke, feeling sick.
“She would makemepunish those I loved.” Quinn spoke bluntly, that dark hatred still in his eyes. “And so I cut myself off from my emotions, completely. To make those around me safe.”
As a terrible sensation gripped Ariana, she suddenly understood why both Devi and Curio had warned her that Quinn was not a person who loved. She understood why Lucca was furious with Quinn, or part of why; taking a deep breath, Ariana digested what Quinn was telling her. He had a high degree of self-awareness and had had centuries to think about his situation. But as he stood so cordially now, marble-still like a statue in the midnight hour, Ariana knew he hated the man he’d had to be under Emiliana’s rule.
And all the terrible things he’d done.
“Do you ever talk about any of this? With anyone?” She asked suddenly, a deep intuition rising in her that Quinn didn’t share this time in his life.
“No.” Quinn smiled sadly, brushing a lock of hair back from her face again as his intensity eased. “Devi and Curio have their own wounds, and as their Master, I must be supportive rather than delve into my wounds with them. And you can see how Lucca’s and my relationship has soured over the years because of the Vampire I became. There was one other person I trusted, a Royal North Sea Siren Courtier here two hundred years ago whom I shared some of my woes with. But I made the mistake of not sharing my heart with him, so he left to become Head Courtier at the Paris Hotel. Actually, he became Head of the entire Hotel organization recently, and has found a beautiful group of Royal Dragons akin to him in passion and heart. But we do not… speak of personal matters anymore. Which is as it should be.”
“Do you see a counselor?” Ariana asked, frowning more as she anticipated Quinn’s answer.
“I am Master here, Ariana.” He spoke with a subtle warning in his gaze now. “I cannot be seen to be weak for those I protect. And part of that protection is not re-opening bad memories while we are all trying to heal. I employ excellent counselors for my people to speak with at any time.”
“So do you talk toanyoneabout personal stuff, Quinn?” She blinked, astounded that he had kept everything of his life bottled up for so very long.
“I’m talking with you, right now. Your subtle magics have urged me to share… so I am.” Quinn spoke quietly as he lifted her hand, cradling it to his chest. Ariana felt a shine of gold cascade through Quinn’s magics then, and it made her inhale. As he stood close, he smiled down at her, and Ariana got lost in his beautiful eyes as they simmered with red-gold fire. She could feel his passion rise for her as he reached up, stroking her neck. As she stared up at him, his black nimbus curled sweetly around her, cradling her as his free hand slid down.
Easing around her waist like they were dancing.
“You’re getting lost in me again, Ariana.” Quinn breathed as he drew her close with his arm around her waist, their other hands clasped upon his chest.
“You’re nice to get lost in.” Ariana breathed unsteadily, her cheeks flaming with a blush. As her power whirled, she realized her new magic was two-edged; just like her power made others speak the truth around her, she was baring her own truth a little too blatantly now.
But her statement only made Quinn laugh. A soft laugh, it was just a heave of breath, but Ariana saw the luminous smile that curled his lips. As he gazed upon her now, he was radiant – and Ariana saw a flash of pure gold brighten his eyes. It was stunning to see his sun-bright Royal Summer Fae power shine through Quinn’s magic for just a moment. As Ariana blinked, Quinn pulled her closer.
Setting his lips to her temple as they began a slow waltz.
“I want to be with you, you know.” He breathed sexily now as he held her close in their dance. “I want to repeat our intimacy with each other, and I’m jealous of your affection for Lucca. I want you all to myself. I want you in my bed. Tonight and every night.”
“So why don’t we?” Ariana breathed back, undone by his nearness and sexy talk, and Quinn’s beautifully strange scent like midnight oleander.
“Because I am afraid.” He breathed back, though his firmness through his fine Armani trousers and the way her held her so close spoke of other emotions.
“Afraid of hurting me?” She asked, blinking up at him.
“Afraid of what I want to do to you, with pain and pleasure both.” Quinn breathed as his dark eyes blazed with a ring of fire now, burning with a powerful lust. “I’m afraid of what I might do with these growing passions inside me, Ariana. Afraid of what I was trained to do to people I loved. I am afraid that when the time comes for us to be intimate again… I won’t be able to control it. Any of my passions or urges… or my unwelcome skills.”
Leaning in now, Quinn breathed by her ear as they danced slowly below the starry midnight vaults. It put his lips right by Ariana’s neck and she shuddered as her moon-silver power rushed all around her, a wave of midnight rainbows cascading off her.
