Taking a deep breath and squaring her shoulders, Layla turned to Heathren. “You’ve done this before?”
“I have.” He spoke honestly. “On many occasions. The matron speaks true, Layla, the more brutally honest you can be with yourself when the Mirror begins to reflect back to you, the faster the process will go. Beware: this is not the time to berate yourself for what you see – that will make the process entrap you and you will not see clearly enough to find what you’re looking for. Simply accept the mirror-image you experience, embrace it in love, and the process will move on.”
“Sounds simple, but is probably hard.” Breathing out through pursed lips, Layla didn’t miss Heathren’s deeply knowing nod. She had no idea what inner demons she might face going into this, but lifting her head, she faced it with courage. Stepping forward, Layla slid her sneaker into the liquid silver near the top step of the Mirror. She found it to have no temperature with almost no sensation, like it was less water and more wind as she took another step down. The white stairs were mercifully solid, and as she moved into the pool, she found the steps ended when the silver water was hip-height. Behind her, Heathren moved into the water also, and as the matron beckoned for Layla to move out to the center of the pool, Heathren followed.
As they arrived at the center, Layla felt the texture of the pool’s floor change beneath her feet. She frowned, seeing a vision in her mind’s eye that she now stood upon the topmost peak of a vast blue crystal the same color as the matron’s eyes, which stretched to eternity below. In her mind’s eye, Layla saw the infinite blue gem, scrolling through with that same glowing script over and over. It completely upended her mind, and as Layla shuddered, feeling so small compared to such vastness, Heathren stepped up quietly to her back.
Moving close but careful to not touch her, Heathren spread his silver-bright filamentous wings wide behind her, his hands palm-open at her sides. Drawing a breath, Layla felt his deep support steady her as she watched the surface of the Mirror ripple with etheric currents, and felt that unending blue gemstone below. As she felt Heathren become deeply quiet at her back, Layla was suddenly flooded with a vast, supportive energy from him. A deep love flowed from the Fallen Ephilohim, and Layla felt their connection in it, and how that connection helped calm her now.
Watching etheric currents in the Mirror, Layla suddenly saw them change.
And then she was diving into the endless silver void – following that blue gem all the way down.
CHAPTER 17 – MIRROR
Watching the silver eddies in the Mirror of Ages, Layla felt her consciousness spiral out to the void as the Mirror’s ripples came to a sudden stillness. As if the entire universe held its breath, all movement in the silvery water ceased, leaving the surface pristine as glass. Part of Layla was aware she watched herself in the Mirror, but the greater part of her had already been swallowed by the vastness of the ether. As if she stood out in the cosmos now rather than inside the coliseum, she watched herself stand in the pool – and suddenly felt she could reach out and touch herself just there on the other side of the universe. Extending a hand, Layla brushed her fingertips through the void and saw herself reach out and brush her fingers over the surface of the pool.
Awakening the dark infinity between.
As if a million eyes suddenly trained upon her, Layla became deeply uncomfortable in the void; every nerve on-edge. She shifted position in the nothingness and saw herself shift also in the silver water, though the mirror-surface of the mercurial water didn’t budge. As she watched herself with Heathren standing wings-wide behind her, she saw her own face take on personality. But the expression was one she’d never worn – or at least one she didn’t remember wearing.
And as her other self stared at her in the Mirror-void, it suddenly began to speak.
Look at us, running away from those we love best.
It was a caustic voice Layla heard inside her mind from this other, and as she stared at it, she felt herself zoom even further out into the starry darkness. Suddenly, this vision of her other self was vivid before her in the cosmos, as the rest of the coliseum, Heathren, and everything else faded away.
“I’m not running away.” Layla spoke stubbornly to her reflection. “I’m saving us by finding out how to restore my Dragon.”
You’re running away.Her other self intoned caustically, with vivid green-gold eyes and a vicious bite to her voice as she lifted an accusatory eyebrow.You love your men but you love yourself more. And the fact is, that it intimidates you to be with them all. They’re so powerful; who are you to be in such esteemed company? You’re nobody. They just have yet to figure it out – how much of a fraud you are among them.
“I’m not a fraud.” Layla simmered now, biting her words off and setting her jaw at her reflected self. Behind her, she could feel a sensation of protection, as if Heathren was holding the space sacred from other things that wanted to join the party now that her emotions were ramping up. Layla didn’t know what those other things were, but she was damn sure they wouldn’t be good, if Heathren lost his focus. But he didn’t, his presence as stalwart behind her in the void as if he’d pulled his silver swords out against enemies.
But you believe you are a fraud.As her other self stared her down, Layla suddenly realized what this whole session with the Mirror was going to be. It was going to be facing down her own judgements about herself, and coming to terms with them.
Taking a deep breath, Layla knew she had to play ball.
“You’re right. I do believe I’m a fraud.” She spoke, feeling something inside herself become gentle rather than sharp now. “But I’m working with that; feeling my way into greater power and what to do with it, and how it changes me. I once believed I was somebody. Then when the UN rejected me, I spiraled, believing I was nobody. Now I know I’m somebody, but it’s not because I have a Dragon inside me. It’s because I love and am loved – and that’s the best thing there is.”
But you abandoned us.Before her, the vision suddenly shifted to Rhennic, staring her down with bitter reproach.I asked you for one thing, Layla; to tell me when you were going to set out into dangerous territory so I could be there for you. But you couldn’t even do that much for me.
“There are some things a woman has to do on her own, Rhennic.” Layla spoke as she felt her heart clench, her eyes tearing up without warning. And yet, she knew her words were from her heart as she felt Heathren’s watchful energy ratchet up another notch behind her. “I want to share everything with you, I really do. I love how you protect me. But I need to learn how to protect myself, also. In addition to letting my men do it.”
Is that what this is all about, Layla?The vision shifted to Dusk now, watching her with a piercing awareness in his sapphire-blue eyes.Being strong enough to protect yourself against Hunter?
“Yes and no.” Layla answered slowly. “I need to be strong, but maybe not in the way I think. I think I need to be strong… in love. Which is something I never even knew I had until I met all of you, my Bound men. And then began feeling the ether after my own Dragon got put away.”
Etheric love is a beautiful thing,it was Rake André who spoke to her now, tall and lovely,but are you sure you have it in you?
“I know I do.” Layla spoke with firm resolve. “I first felt it with you, and now I know I have something deeper beneath my rage and anger. Beneath my Dragon’s passions.”
Are you so ready to give your Dragon’s passions up?Adrian now stood before her with accusatory hot aqua eyes.Do you no longer love what it is to be a Dragon, that connects you to us?To me?
“It’s more than Dragon’s passions that connect us all, Adrian.” Layla spoke now as her heart broke for him, as tears began to spill from her eyes. Behind her, Heathren intensified his protective ring around her tenfold. “Just like you said. Human or Dragon, we love each other. The love we share goes deeper than being a Dragon, to the ether itself, to—”
To Hunter.And coiling before her was now no human being, but Layla’s very own Dragon, massive with her shining gold and fire-red scales as she coiled around and through the universe. She was enormous, far larger than Layla had ever been in Dragon-form and as Layla gazed up at her very own drakaina in the ether, large as the cosmos itself, she felt it stir within her as well.We are enamored of Hunter, Layla Price. We want him as a mate.
“No…” Layla breathed in horror, as she felt herself try to push away her drakaina both around her and deep inside. But confronting her in the Mirror-space, it wouldn’t go – and as Layla stared into its enormous fire-bright eyes, she saw the terrible truth shining from them.
