"I'll start with congratulations. Are you bruised and bandaged in your proposal photos?"
"Yes, actually—but no, no. That's not what I want to talk about."
"Forty-five seconds, Beckett."
"I want to apologize. This has nothing to do with you and how I felt about you. Despite how stupid I sound, I'm not trying to save my ass."
"Okay. Can I hang up now?"
"I don't want us to see each other and feel anger."
"You feel anger when you see me? Wow."
"No, that isn't what I meant. Shit."
After a moment of my deliberate restraint to not cuss him out, he finally asks, "Are you going to tell Scarlet about us?"
Scarlet.
"I don't plan on running into you ever again, so long as you never return to Roasted. What the hell are you even doing here?"
"We're in town because—"
"You know what? I don't care. I don't want to know."
"Are you going to tell her?"
"You need to tell her yourself. You're not my business anymore."
"Okay, thank you."
"Youwilltell her, right?"
"Oh…ummm…" He's stuttering instead of assuring me he'll come clean.
"You're a piece of shit, Beckett. I hope for her sake you let her down easier than you did me."
I hang up and delete our entire text thread. Years and years of history and memories in those text exchanges.
Step one in moving on past our breakup, done. I even block his number.
"I need a drink," I tell my empty room.
The last thing I want is for my dependence on alcohol to skyrocket, so I pour myself a small glass of wine.
Theo isn't home or else I'd be divulging all my dirty secrets to him since we seem to be getting along. And I say that loosely. We're being civil.
I'm picking up my clothes, and he's keeping his on. A win-win.
No one is home, in fact, so I put on my bathing suit and inflate a raft. I will float away my sorrows in the pool. And drown the rest of my sorrows with my wine.
My earbuds are in and I blast some angsty emo music from my high school days as I roast in the sun. But one glass down and the entirety ofThe Usedself-titled album completed, I realize I can't settle on a half measure. I want to get fucked up. Just to the point where I don't have to remember my current predicament. And then one drink after that.
WhenIgethome,it's past 9:00 p.m.
I left the house around dinnertime when Bruce and my mom started being overly affectionate right in front of me.
When I make my way upstairs, I see Amelia's light is on and her door wide open. Curiosity has me heading left to her side of the second floor and knocking on the doorframe.
