We're both staring out my front windshield at a homeless man peeing on the side of the ER entrance.
This isn't the best part of town, but it was the closest hospital, and I figured it would look obvious if I took my time letting him sit in pain as I drove to the one thirty minutes in the opposite direction.
"I'm sorry, Amelia."
"Okay."
"I am. I never meant for this to happen."
"Why didn't you break up with me?"
"I don't know. I hate myself for it, but I was so used to our routine. I still love you."
"No, you don't. If you loved me, you wouldn't be doing this to me right now."
The homeless man has now proceeded with pulling his pants down and squatting to take a shit.
I want to laugh and cry at the same time. How did I end up here? Fired and on the verge of being single. This was not how my day was supposed to end.
"How long have you been with her?" I ask.
"Please, can we go home?"
"How long?"
"Six months."
A dejected laugh escapes my lips. A lonely tear falls down my cheek and I wipe it away with my knuckle.
"I'm moving out," I decide.
"Please, can we figure this out?"
"There's nothing to figure out. I hate you. I can't even look at you. You threw away four years of my life."
Beckett reaches for me, to console me, to show he has some empathy for me? But I’m not believing it.
"Stop!" I explode, the events of today catching up to me. "This has been the worst day of my entire life. I'm going home to pack up my stuff. I want to get out, away from you, away from everything."
I start my car and drive us home.
I'veneverlivedwitha man until now, so I'm unfamiliar with the protocol of breakups when they involve combined assets.
Does he keep the furniture and pay me back?
Do we split it up evenly?
How does this work?
I'm filled with a yearning to leave everything we ever shared together.
"I don't want anything," I tell him as he sits at the table.
"Nothing?"
"You can have it all. The furniture. The dishes. Everything."
"Where are you even going to go? You should stay here until you find a place."
