"History has a way of repeating itself."
"You need to relax. Go get laid."
"I'm so happy fucking your way through life helpsyouavoid real-world problems, but that's not how I handle things."
"You don't have sex?" I ask with a quirked brow. "Is that why your boyfriend cheated?"
I want to sock myself right in the dick, because that was completely below the belt. Cruel. Mean.
"You are such an asshole." Her words are audible to our parents who are now outside, and their eyes snap to the two of us.
So to double down—because apologizing is for pussies, apparently—I say, "It was a joke. Don't get your panties in a knot."
"Don't talk about my panties!" she hisses.
"It's a figure of speech."
"No one is getting in anyone's panties!" Bruce yells.
"Dad, that's not what it means."
"What happened?" my mom asks me.
"Nothing."
"Can't you two be civil for one meal?" Bruce growls, clearly fed up with the drama.
I want to apologize, but I know if I show the first sign of weakness, Amelia will be all over me like a tiger on a lamb. I want to have the upper hand, and once she sees me cave, it'll be hers.
"I'm trying to be civil!" Amelia shouts. "But coming home sucks! Being around Theo sucks!"
"You think I want to be here?" I mirror her angry tone, realizing the same passion for attraction can translate into frustration. "You think Ilikestaying in a room that might as well be in a friend’s house? A house that was never mine? Consider yourself lucky you actually feel like this is home."
And with that, I skip dinner altogether and go back to my dungeon of a room.
Iknowintheback of my mind I'm being an immature bitch.History has a way of repeating itself.
My old tricks are returning now that I'm forced back into a situation I thought I escaped years ago.
I'm still trying to grasp the idea my dad is with someone else. Yes, it's been nearly a decade. Yes, he's happy, and I am glad he found someone. But that doesn't mean it doesn't feel like whiplash every time I return home.
Despite what Theo said outside last night, I think he's lucky he didn't grow up in this house as I did.
Because it's impossible to walk down the hall and not remember all the family photos that are now gone. Theo doesn't have old memories slowly fading into nothing. He's staying in the guest room that used to be my playroom when I was a child.
His mom took overmymom's downstairs office.
Theo is unaware how difficult it is to see the new wedding photos above the fireplace instead of the trips my dad, mom, and I took over my summer breaks.
My mom is being erased, year by year, and it kills me.
Even though the catastrophic dinner ended on a bad note, I kept the morning breakfast cheerful to avoid the lecture on sibling etiquette. It was a bribe, because I had a Zoom interview at 8:30 a.m. and needed everyone's cooperation.
But what did Theo do during that time? Decides to try and start that fucking muscle car in the garage.
He did it on purpose, and I nearly had a panic attack. The constant stuttering and stalling of an old engine trying its damnedest to come to life was the worst distraction.
I bombed the interview. But it wasn't anything promising. It was practice, and I failed.
