"It's been sitting in the garage. I don't have the heart to start the engine," my mom admits.
I look at Bruce to see if he gets territorial over my mother, which he doesn't, and shouldn't. They both lost their first love. They spent more time than not living with their high school sweethearts. It's not like Bruce has replaced my dad and vice versa. They both have to come to terms with the fact they had separate lives before they remarried.
But Bruce looks apologetic as I discuss my dad's car. I bet he sees it as a bunch of junk he's had to keep inhisgarage all these years.
The house my parents eventually bought and lived in until we moved out was in Solana Beach, a town that neighbors Del Mar. It was unintentional, but every time I was back in the States, I'd accidentally drive home to my childhood house. And each time I did that, it felt like I'd lose a piece of my soul.
Because the people who lived in that house aren't the same people now.
My dad isn't here, my mom is married to someone else, and I have a wildly attractive, pain-in-the-ass stepsister back in my life.
It'snearingdinnertime,soI step out of my room and head downstairs.
I've pretty much been up there with my door shut for the entire day. I took a brief look at the car, but once my hands made contact with the hood, I was startled by too many hurtful memories. It was like I touched hot metal and the scars on my hands from the previous attempt were still too fresh. Maybe tomorrow I will try again.
I still haven't found a healthy way to deal with the grief. When I was in South America, I found women to keep me company on the nights I was lonely. But now, I want to be by myself. I don't want anyone in the house to suspect I haven't accepted my dad's passing. It's been twelve years. Surely I should have moved on by now.
I'm going to have to pretend really hard for the next hour.
Pretend I'm happy my mom is with Bruce and found love again.
Pretend I'm not still attracted to Amelia.
Pretend I even have an appetite right now.
I'm hoping Amelia can play nice for sixty minutes. I think I can.
She's been avoiding me. I don't know why one exposed breast is the cause for the silent treatment, especially when it was an accident.
But she's already reverted back to her old ways. She's been leaving her crap all over the bathroom counters, her towels never make the hook, or they do and they fall onto the floor anyway. I think she's already using my shaving cream, too. We've been home for twenty-four hours, and she's showing her true colors already.
I have no idea what's fashionable at the moment. In South America, I was shirtless in khaki shorts while I worked outside. I never had to think about what to wear that day because no one cared there. They worried about running water or having access to medical care. It's a culture shock being home.
I keep it simple since that’s all I have anyway.
When I make my way downstairs, I see Amelia hasn't joined yet. I don't hate being alone with Bruce, but I prefer to have my mom there as a buffer.
"Hey, Theo. I'm so glad you're joining us," Bruce says.
I want to respond with "did I even have a choice," but I refrain.
My mom returns from the garage with a large cooler.
"Need any help?"
"Oh no, I'm good. Go take a seat outside. Bruce started grilling, and it'll be done soon. Everything else is ready and prepared."
When I get outside, I see a huge spread of food that looks like it could feed a village. Most will be put back in Tupperware as leftovers, but their attempt at making it appear we are a happy family is endearing.
Before sitting, I turn around and glance up to Amelia's room and catch her looking out her window at the same time.
She turns away, both of us caught, but at least I'm wearing clothes. I can tell from the window she's in her bra, and I want to curse myself.
Actually, I want to curse Amelia because if she keeps accidentally putting herself in these peeping Tom moments, I'm going to need some sunglasses to hide my eyes and some thicker shorts to hide my arousal.
I'm sitting outside for about five minutes alone until Amelia joins me.
"Hey," I say.
