"Can we go outside to talk?"
He nods. "I would like that."
Theo enters the house as my dad and I sit at the patio table. Molly's car wasn't out front, and I hope she returns soon so he doesn't have to sit in dread for too long.
"Where should we start?" My dad, the strong protector, is currently restless and sweating at the temple. I've never seen him so nervous in my life.
"I don't want to know if mom knew you cheated. I can't handle the answer, and I'd like to believe she didn't. Either way, I hope she left this world knowing her husband loved her. That we all loved her."
A tear falls down my dad's cheek and he whispers, "I did love her. I'll always love her."
I concentrate on my breathing instead of lashing out.
"Why didn't you tell me the truth about you and Molly? Please don't sugarcoat it."
"I don't know. Maybe because I thought the past didn't matter and we should focus on the present and our future. I was selfish. I admit that. I didn't want you to hate me."
"How soon after did things end with Molly when Mom got sick?"
"Maybe six months?"
"Why did you cheat?"
"Marriage is very hard, Amelia. That's not my excuse; I'm not blaming that. But it's a lot of work, a lot of compromise, a lot of challenges that sometimes never get resolved. I was unhappy. And I made some choices that I regret back then."
"Would you have ever told me if Theo didn't?"
He flinches when I speak Theo's name, and I'm not looking forward to his turn to interrogate me.
"I don't think I would have. I know that sounds horrible, honey. You knowing now wouldn't have changed a thing in the past. It is what it is, as brutal as that sounds. And I'm sorry for the hurt my actions caused."
My eyes focus on a leaf being blown around our backyard. Anything to distract me from the tears pooling and waiting to release.
"Can you forgive me?" he asks.
"With time, yes. This isn't something I'll forget by tomorrow. Even though you're right, nothing changes with me knowing, I think it's the betrayal that hurts the most. That's not the father-daughter relationship I thought we had."
"I understand. I'm sorry, Ames."
I close my eyes as the tears rush down my face. "You were all I had left, and you lied to me."
"I'm sorry."
"That's going to be the hardest part, Dad. Absolving you of something so…deceitful. That you were able to keep something so monumental from me and let me believe we were a happy, cohesive family. I just got cheated on, Dad. Do you even know how badly that hurts? What infidelity does to someone? It stays with you, makes you feel less than. Do you understand what I'm getting at?"
"Yes, I do. I'm so sorry, honey."
"And you were so upset with Beckett for hurting me. The hypocrisy is killing me."
"If you give me a chance, I will make it up to you. It'll take time, but I promise I will."
"It's a start."
I'm not looking forward to his cross-examination. Who knows where he'll begin, what he'll ask first. I'm unnerved with how the rest of this conversation will go.
"I only have one question for you." He grabs my hands and holds them in his.
"Okay."
