I'm shaking my head like I might be able to rattle my eardrums hard enough to drown out Theo's words.
"He was fucking gutted, Amelia. He needed time before he could come home and face her. So he extended his contract, and ultimately went on a mission that ended up being his last."
A wave of nausea hits me, and I throw up in the sand.
"Don't you wonder why they got married so fast? They already had a history together! I think they ended things once my dad found out. But they reconnected at that support group, unaware they each lost the spouse they were cheating on."
My body spasms and is hit with more retching.
"Amelia…" Theo is by my side, rubbing my back.
Slapping away his hand, I cry, "Don't!"
I'm hunched over, sobbing near my knees, in denial he's speaking the truth.
"My dad would never cheat on my mom," I sob. "They were happy."
"I thought my parents were, too."
"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
"I didn't know how to. You already hated me."
I'm hollowed out and empty. The wind could blow me over.
"Take me home," I demand.
"Can we talk—"
"Please?"
Theo nods his head with a conflicted stance. Even though I have tunnel vision, I watch as he debates putting his hand on my lower back or around my shoulders.
Everything is foggy when I plop my soulless body in the passenger seat. I can't drive now.
It's hard to imagine your parents making mistakes, let alone a colossal one like this. To imply imperfections are possible in the person you looked up to most means they are not superhuman like you thought. My dad cheated on my mom? Did they even love each other when she died? Did my mom know what was going on?
I don't register the drive home. I'm unsure if Theo tried to make conversation or if we sat in silence the whole way.
I want to burst into my dad's room and shout accusations at him. How life will never be the same for me no matter how many times he apologizes. Did he think I would never find out? How could he? His actions weren't just deceitful toward my mom but to me, too. He cheated on ourfamily.
How will I ever forgive him?
My opinion of Molly changes in an instant. I'm judgmental, hateful, and turn into the worst version of myself.
How could she pretend like she didn't ruin two families' lives?
I enter the house, and Theo follows closely behind.
He's my shadow, and I want to scream at him, too, to give me some damn space.
I hate everyone. All I want to do is cry myself to sleep and pretend this night never happened.
Ameliashutsherbedroomdoor with such vitriol I know it's my sign to leave her be.
She'll be processing this new information, and I guarantee she'll be breaking down the same way I did when I first found out. And I don't want her to be alone like I was.
I make it until 1:00 a.m. before I leave my room to check on her. I wasn't sleeping anyway.
