I want to die of embarrassment.
But then I remember Theo is my stepbrother, so it shouldn't matter. Who cares if my dad embarrasses me?
Theo leaves the room and returns with a shirt so tight he might as well still be without one. I can see the narrow line separating each side of his abdominal muscles through the white, threadbare fabric. I bet he's solid without flexing. I bet he gets off when he sees how jacked he is in the mirror.
He pours himself some coffee, and he must have tendons and muscles the rest of us don't have. I've never been so fascinated by someone's forearm and so distracted by skin. What the hell is wrong with me?
I'm a horny teenager, and Theo is a soldier for King Leonidas from the film300. I'm unable to contain my hormones as I ogle his Spartan physique.
Theo navigates the kitchen like he's used to living here, and I watch him like Sherlock Holmes, trying to figure out how he's so nonchalant about our unexpected reunion. It's been, give or take, ten years since we've been in the same room together, and he's aloof.Aloof!I've never used that word in my life but right now is the perfect example.
"I thought you weren't coming home for another month?" I scowl to ensure I’m not drooling.
"I got in last night," he states without making eye contact with me.
Well, no shit.
I bite my tongue, because I'm hoping the bad terms we left on won't follow us into adulthood.
"Was that all your shit near the front door?" Theo asks. "Still messy. Looks like nothing has changed."
Oh, okay, it's going to be like that.
"Yes, that'smy shitnear the front door. And wow, nothing has changed for you, too. Still don't know how to talk to women."
"Amelia!" my dad gasps in absolute horror, like I called Theo a son of a bitch, insulting him and Molly simultaneously.
"Sorry." I clear my throat and prepare for war. "What I meant to say was, welcome home. Will we be seeing you around or are you going to hide out in your room and triple the electricity bill by playing video games all day every day?"
"Oh, Amelia. Still the ballbuster you've always been–"
"Theo, stop antagonizing Amelia," Molly requests. "And you better be wearing clothes more often. You have a lady in the house now."
Theo choke-laughs on his coffee and spits some out onto the countertops. "A lady in the house? Where?"
"That's exactly what I said ten years ago when I wondered if you were capable of accomplishing such a deed," I jab.
"No one is bringing anyone back to the house!" my dad shouts. "Christ Almighty, can't you two get along for a couple of minutes?"
"This was all him!" I don't feel the least bit mature placing blame on Theo, but he started it when he brought up how messy I am.
Theo finally decides to keep his perfectly shaped mouth shut. Gosh, his lips are so plump and... Is hesneeringat me? He's giving me this creepy yet sexual smile I am interpreting as smug. Is he trying to get out of this with a flash of his flawless face? It's not…it's not going to work.
"Please don't sayhewas the surprise," I plead to my dad.
"I'm sorry, Amelia," Molly says, almost like she’s embarrassed. "It was my idea to keep his return a surprise."
My cereal is soggy, and I've lost my appetite.
While I was packing my suitcase in the hotel, Theo was booking an early flight home. And my dad didn't bother telling me? Traitor.
"Speaking of surprises, what areyoudoing here? Where's that boyfriend of yours?" Theo asks.
I'm taken aback for two reasons.
One: How did he know I evenhada boyfriend?
Two: What the hell do I say? I'm not about to admit he broke up with me to be with his new girlfriend.
