The house is secure, and I let Theo walk ahead. I don't want him watching me second-guess every thought going through my head.
I want to spend more time with him tonight, in any capacity he'd give me. But I'm keeping that to myself.
"You okay?" he whispers, bending lower so his face is at my level.
We're standing at the base of the stairs as his eyes bore into mine. I feel as though he can see through to my soul, and despite all the uncertainty surrounding us, I sense the mutual craving.
"Yeah, I'm fine," I assure him.
When we both reach the top landing, he walks ahead of me, dropping his towel in the middle of the hallway. To have the confidence he does, it's beguiling. He's casting a spell, and I'm captivated by the way he opens my door and enters my room without an invitation.
Each step is taken with careful consideration.
One foot forward.
Yes, I want this to happen again.
Brief pause.
Will this become a routine?
Another step forward.
One more time, that's it.
I will get him out of my system…starting tomorrow.
Whenmyalarmgoesoff the following morning, I roll over in bed and give Theo a gentle shake.
"Hey, I need to get ready for work."
"Mmm," he mumbles with his face smashed into my pillow.
"You can't be in here. You need to go back to your room."
I'd sleep in my bed, too, considering Theo has a full-sized mattress where his feet hang off the edge. But we fit together well in my queen size.
"Noooo!" He's a cranky teenager being forced to get up for school.
"Theo, we might get caught."
"Okay, okay."
We each rise out of bed, and I remember he's naked.
"Shit, Theo, you need clothes."
"As long as the lights aren't on downstairs"—he groans and stretches his impressive arms like he's flexing his biceps—"I'll walk right into my room and no one will know I was between your thighs all night."
I peek out my door and I tell him, "You're in the clear. Go now. Please."
"All right, all right."
When he's safely inside his own room, I get ready for the day and remember to leave the note under his door on the side project I was working on.
I'm using the doorframe like an invisible string holding my posture up. He's not supposed to be inside my room, insideme,but the ability to see right from wrong has failed me up to this point.
Igobacktosleep even after Amelia leaves for work. It would have looked suspicious if we were both up at the same time.
