“Black and blue?”
“Idiots who exaggerate. You know perfectly well I like having my arse smacked. I’d appreciate not being kink-shamed over it.”
“That’s not what I was doing. I just think, if we’d known how they’d felt, then maybe it would have put a different spin on things.”
“You mean, you’d have got suspicious earlier. Yeah, great. Like I needed to be isolated more than I’ve already been.”
He pursed his lips. “Alle, no one’s deliberately iso…”
It wasn’t until they were on the way back to the hotel that Alle elbowed him and asked, “How do you think they’re going to react?”
Rock Giant stared at the point of her elbow digging into his side. “Honestly, I don’t know. But I’ve a feeling it might not even be news to a certain someone.”
“You think Xane already knows?”
He blew a breath out between his lips. “The guy’s not exactly known for being an open book, and…”
“And?”
“And he’d known all about Spook’s past without dropping a hint of anything to the rest of us. Do you have any idea how many times Spook’s monk-like behaviour came up over the years? Too many to count, and Xane didn’t shy from those conversations. He just fucking lied through his teeth to us.”
“You don’t trust him,” she observed.
He clasped her hand and gave it a squeeze. “On most things, he’s got good instincts, but in relation to Spook? Not really. I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that Spook told him it was Flynn. Or to find out he’s known where Spook is this whole time.”
Alle’s heart ached from that possibility. “Do you think that’s seriously possible?”
“Like you don’t,” Rock Giant replied. “Hasn’t that been your first question to him every time you’ve met?”
She’d known that he knew something. At least now she sort of understood why he’d been so closed-lipped around her.
Paul gave her hand another squeeze, then lowered it to her knee. Alle watched his reflection in the side window as they continued to speed across the city. If Xane had known Spook’s whereabouts the whole time, she would certainly have a thing or two to say to him, but it would be a massive relief too, to know that her man was safe. To have something concrete to cling to.
“I’ve seen Xane come apart more than once,” her companion said, following a couple of questions from their driver about where precisely they wanted dropping. “Considering everything that’s happened these last few months, he should be a shambolic wreck.” He shook his head. “That he isn’t doesn’t make sense.”
“What I don’t get is why he would keep it from the rest of the band.” If he knew about Flynn, it explained his hesitation in saying anything to her, but not them.
A soft smile played around Paul’s mouth. “Everyone used to accuse me of being Elspeth’s knight in shining armour. Claimed I was always ready to jump to her defence. It wasn’t entirely true, but it wasn’t untrue, either. Me and her, we’ve known each other a long time. We grew up around each other. She’s practically my sister. With Xane and Spook, the relationship’s not as old, but in some ways it’s deeper. I’m not talking about them fucking. Xane’s fucked everybody. It’s more than that. There’s something about them… I don’t know… fundamental… They just get each other. Everyone used to laugh at that, the celibate and the sex addict… I think Xane would do damned well anything to keep your man safe. And he’s savvy enough to realise that the more people that know something, the more difficult it is to keep that information safe. He hasn’t told us, because he wasn’t prepared to risk that knowledge getting out. Also, while I can’t swear that me or Ash wouldn’t have beat a path straight to his door or told you—”
“Ash wouldn’t.”
“But Ginny might. And while I might have managed to hold off telling you, I’d have said something to somebody. Ronnie most likely, and then he’d have told you.”
They sat a moment in silence ruminating on those facts. “They love one another,” Alle murmured, the realisation sticking in her craw and making her words come out choked. “I mean, I’ve kinda of known that a while, but…”
“You’ve not let yourself acknowledge the full implications of it.”
She nodded. “Something like that. I believed them when they said it wasn’t that sort of love. I believed it because I wanted to be foremost in Spook’s heart, but now, now I wonder if that was ever true. What if I’ve spent all this time in limbo for nothing? What if he comes back and he doesn’t want anything to do with me? What if… we’re already done, and I’m too obstinate to admit to myself that it’s over?”
“He loves you,” Paul reassured. “And if he’s changed his mind about that, I’ll be only too happy to tell him what a fucking idiot he is. He loves you, Alle. It isn’t you he ran away from.”
She wasn’t so certain of that.
-12-
Allegra
The Black Halo hotel suites were all grouped around one hexagonal hallway. Alle had suggested messaging ahead and asking them to meet in Rock Giant’s room so they could impart the news about Flynn, but he’d dismissed that idea as a waste of time.
