Alle nodded her agreement.“You said that people were unforgiving.That they saw you as a monster, despite knowing the truth.”
“Everyone had an opinion.The truth was irrelevant.”He had to do this.Had to.It was time.“Her brothers—Siv’s brothers decided to take matters into their own hands.”
Her brow concertinaed.He was deliberately not facing her, but he could still see her expression out of the corner of his eye.
“But the courts had cleared you.”
“A gross miscarriage of justice, if you asked them.It was absolutely clear that I was guilty.They’d seen all the evidence.The bruises.The lash marks.The videos.It seemed like everyone had.And now Siv was rotting in a cell because of me, while I was free to do as I pleased.Where was the justice in that?”
“If she’d told the truth in the first place—”
Spook squashed his lips together.The mix of bile and acid was gathering in his throat again.Part of him was eager to blurt it all out in a rush in the shortest sentence possible, but he knew that wouldn’t explain things and he only wanted to do this once.No backtracking.No repetition.So he took another breath, and a second, and he swallowed the foul tasting saliva.
“The properties were only a stone’s throw away from one another.Lonely, like I said.I didn’t have anywhere else to go.The friends I’d had were maintaining their distance, so it was that or the streets.”Many were the times he’d wondered if the streets might not have been a better option.“They waited until everyone else was out.”That had actually been fairly often.They’d had jobs.Schools to attend.Appointments to keep.He’d liked the quiet.It meant an escape from the disappointment in their eyes, and the questions.Everyone wanted to know everything.Why he’d done it?Did it really turn him on?Why the hell he hadn’t asked for help.Like he was sick, and a quick talk to a shrink or a course of antibiotics would cure him.
“Erik and Bengt caught me while I was out feeding our rabbits.We had a huge enclosure for them ringed with an electrified fence.After they’d run a few volts through me, they kicked the living shit out of me.Said it was to ensure I got a taste of my own medicine.Erik held me face down in the mud.I could hardly breathe.They’d already cracked four ribs and dislocated my shoulder.I thought for certain they were going to kill me.”
He paused only long enough to catch his breath, not nearly long enough for what he was saying to sink in.
“Bengt—Bengt ripped my jeans down and lashed me with his belt.Then he—”
He couldn’t look at her.Stared at the chipped paint on his fingernails instead.
Alle’s red hair brushed against his arm as she leaned into his shoulder.“You don’t have to elaborate if you don’t want to.The picture’s clear.”
He coughed the lump from his throat.“After they’d gone, I couldn’t move.My eldest sister, Elin found me.I made her swear not to tell anyone, and I refused to go to hospital.There was no way I could have stayed at the farm and hidden my injuries, so Elin drove me to a lodge owned by one of her workmates a couple of hundred miles away.While I was there, I decided to accept a place at a British university instead of heading to Stockholm.”
“You didn’t report it?”
“No.”His shoulders further hunched.“I’ve told two people ever.You and Xane.Elin only knows that I was beaten, and we’ve never spoken about it since that night.”
“That’s insane,” she blurted, before covering her mouth with her hands.“Sorry.I don’t mean—I just mean it’s horrid that they’re still out there having suffered no repercussions whatsoever.I suppose when you saw Siv, you thought they were sure to appear too.”
It took her a minute to realise he was shaking his head.
“They’re both dead, Alle.Do you think I’d even set foot in Sweden if they weren’t?”
Dead.She flinched as if he’d smacked her, while a whole host of dark thoughts tumbled through her head.He could practically hear them they were so loud.
“Dead, how?”
“Henrik —their father—shot them both, along with their cousin who was apparently living with them, before turning the gun on himself.He survived for five days.Said the only reason his daughter wasn’t dead, too, was that she’d been in police custody at the time.”
“That is one fucked up family.”
He wasn’t going to be the one to say otherwise.The observation, blurted in such a kneejerk fashion, even caused him to smile.They were.Had been.Something lifted inside his chest and he risked a peep at Alle.
The moment his head was raised, she cupped his cheek, leaned in, and kissed him.The skin of her lower lip was rough against his.He guessed she’d been gnawing at it.
“I’ve questions,” she said.“Is that okay?”
He gave a single nod.
“Why didn’t you report it?”
That wasn’t an easy start.Awkwardly, he moistened his lips.“Several reasons.I deserved it?I was ashamed.”
She stroked his jawline with the back of one curled finger.
