Alle chuckled.“That’s funny, coming from you.The man who notoriously scrambles for cover every time I turn my back.”
“Not every time,” he said, hand cupped against her cheek, and sincerity burning in his vividly blue eyes.“I’m sorry that you feel I’ve strung you along in the past.That was unkind.Unworthy of me.It’s just difficult, Alle.Difficult to let go of what’s been and not fear history repeating itself.Your brother’s right.I’m no saint.”
It was her turn to hold tight to him.“I don’t want or expect you to be one.I love you as you are, Spook.Exactly as you are.”
She bit her tongue.Something like fright struck deep into his eyes.
“Alle,” he sighed, turning away.There was no reciprocal ‘I love you.’Nothing, in fact, to acknowledge she’d opened her heart up so completely to him.
It’s okay if you don’t say it back.Another lie.She felt the absence of his response deep in her bones.If the soul genuinely existed, then hers ached.
Spook silently grasped her hand.He kept his head bowed, as he led her away from the noise of the bar and the humming air con, through the small tangle of corridors to their room.
“Do you think your brother means to dig?”he asked while he figured out the access to their room.“Because there are things in my past that I’d much rather stayed there.”
What things?What was so terrifyingly shady that his mind was fixated on that, rather than the fact she’d said she loved him?
“Spook.”She caught his shoulder, then entwined her fingers in his hair as they tumbled into their suite together.“I don’t know.Maybe.Or perhaps he was just being a dick because I’d caught him out by unexpectedly being there and hence made him look like twat in front of his colleagues.Xane didn’t pull any punches when he spoke to Ava.I imagine, ‘Who the fuck is the red-head?’‘Oh, it’s my sister.’didn’t go down all that well.”
“Yeah,” he agreed, still avoiding her gaze.“Please don’t be offended if I decline any offers to attend your next family get-together.”
“I didn’t figure we were anywhere near the meet the family stage.”
Spook nodded.
They weren’t.He’d just made that very clear.There didn’t seem any sense in pretending otherwise.In fact, they seemed to be worlds apart in how committed they were.
“Do you…” She began.“Does this, what we have between us, has it life beyond the next few days?”
He did look at her then.Looked at her and sighed a sigh that seemed dredged up from his toes.
“I know you’re commitment phobic, but—”
He cut her off by pressing a finger to her lips, and then kissing that digit while it still lay pressed against her.“I heard what you said, Alle.I know you’d like to hear me return that sentiment, but that requires an open heart.”
“And yours is rusted up and the key is lost.I don’t think that’s true.It’s only what you want me to believe.”
Seemingly weighed down by that thought, Spook pulled away from her.He opened the mini-bar, and began mixing them drinks.His snowy shirt strained across his back and the tops of his biceps as he moved.It was expensive enough that the shapes of his tattoos were entirely obscured.After a moment, he absently pulled the shirt free of his trousers.
“What happened to your jacket?”
“Dani has it.”
He faced her again, drinks in hand.“Gin Martini?”He pressed a glass into her palm.
Alle obligingly took a sip.It was surprisingly good.The man knew how to mix a drink, even without a shaker.
She watched his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed.Perspiration beaded the skin of his neck.“I’m too damned hot,” he muttered, putting the drink aside in order to tackle his shirt buttons.He shed the cotton like a layer of skin, treating her to the sight of his bared torso – all taut slabs and glorious ink.Damn him, he was delight for her tired eyes.
Mesmerising.
Mysterious.
Maddening.
Even while she was hurt.
Spook wasn’t paying attention to her gaze, or he’d probably have blushed at the scrutiny, his focus set on the room’s thermostat.“I don’t know about you, but I’m not really acclimatized to the Med.Am I making it too chilly for you if I set this at twelve degrees?”
