I steadied myself as I stood there, taking a deep breath. “Yes, just needed a moment. A lot of memories in this place.”
That made Casey frown again, his smooth forehead crinkling with concern.
I stepped forward quietly, and he closed the first door and turned to start cranking open the portcullis. We could see more of the cages now. They were dirty, with cold concrete floors and walls covered with blood and sweat and cum.
I searched the rows until I found him, sitting against the wall. His hands were bound, and a blindfold was covering his eyes. He was still in the same clothes he was wearing when they took him.
“Casey?” I asked as we entered the pens. “Would you give me a few minutes? Please?”
“It’s not safe,” Casey said nervously.
“I’ve been here before. I know the rules. Please, just for a little bit?”
Casey frowned but nodded, stepping back through the portcullis to wait.
I walked until I was opposite Ocean’s cell, wrapping my arms around myself as I sank against the wall to the ground. His scent hit me, and it overwhelmed the armour I usually wore.
I started to cry, my body shaking with the powerful sobs that spilled out.
What had I done?
If I hadn’t got distracted, if I hadn’t angered Madison, hewouldn’t have grabbed me. And Ocean wouldn’t have stepped in.
I could still picture it in my mind.
His shimmering blue eyes holding mine, and his black curls brushing my face. With his arms caged around me, I felt safe for the first time since Jule was taken.
But the strangeness of the feeling had alarms going off in my brain and brought me back to the present. To where this precious alpha had just pushed Madison off me.
My mind went blank with terror, and I couldn’t breathe as he was thrown to the floor. As they beat him. As my father came over.
I was thrown back into memories of another time with another scent match, another stranger my father had talked to. Threatened.
It was playing out all over again, my father offering generous grace, so uncharacteristic.
I watched, my limbs heavy as my father turned to security, ordering him out.
Watched as his hand flicked with the same signal he’d used all those years ago.
Kill him.
I lurched forward, opening my mouth and pressing my hand to my father’s arm. Because this time, it didn’t have to end the same, right? This time, I could… I could say…
The words poured out of me, cool and harsh. So different from the frantic fear that was pulsing through me.
Keep him. See him fight. It was the only way.
Had I saved him?
Or had I just set him up for a long, drawn-out death?
I was so powerless. I was trying so hard to think of a way I could get him out of here, but I couldn't do it.
Not alone.
My alpha was going to die, and I was going to have to sit in that fucking booth and watch every fight. Would have to laugh and smile as I wondered if each night would be his last.
A voice broke through the sounds of feral alphas and startled me.
