Roderick might be able to, came the vicious little thought from the back of her mind. The unwelcome, vicious thought, she acknowledged with dismay. The object of said thoughts appeared before her as though conjured from her mind. How wearisome.
“I say, is Northcott courting Miss Billingsley?”
Lucy’s midsection clenched unpleasantly at the gentleman’s question.
“Why do you ask?” she hedged.
“I know your family is chummy with his, so I thought you might know. And the two of them are over there strolling along as though they might be.”
Lucy’s gaze shifted in the direction the earl had indicated and then she had to blink to make sense of what she was seeing. Wiltshire hadn’t been exaggerating. Roderick and Miss Billingsley were strolling as though they might be courting. But they might not be, she tried to point out to herself. There were surely any number of explanations for why they might be walking together in the park at the fashionable hour.
Wasn’t Roderick supposed to be helping his brother with an important matter? Why was he out doing something frivolous at such a time? Then again, so was she, she tried to point out reasonably to herself but apparently she wasn’t in the mood for reasonableness. Fury built within her the longer she watched Roderick and Miss Billingsley, to the point where she could barely pay attention to whatever Wiltshire was prattling on about. How could Roderick be out courting another lady? He was supposed to be visiting her in order to keep her informed about their adventure the previous afternoon. She still had yet to hear what had been said and what Gilbert thought of it all. She couldn’t believe Roderick would be so cruel as to leave her uninformed in such a way. And to pass her over to spend time with Miss Billingsley? It wasn’t to be borne.
Lucy brought her thoughts to account. She shouldn’t be thinking of another gentleman nor using such an expression as prattling with regards to the gentleman courting her, even if only in her thoughts. It was far from complimentary, or respectful. She ought to think much kinder of the man if she were going to consider his suit in earnest.
Across the expanse between them, Roderick must have felt her stare, as suddenly their gazes enmeshed and it was all Lucy could do to tear her own away from his. She tried to become engrossed in what the earl was saying to her. He was telling her about his estate, she ought to be interested, but she couldn’t prevent her gaze from flickering back toward Roderick and his companion.
The way his head was inclined toward Miss Billingsley as though he were hanging upon her every word made a surge of emotion within her that she could only describe as jealousy.
How vulgar of her. Jealousy was for lesser mortals. Lucy lifted her chin and set her face forward, ignoring everything around her for a moment to compose herself. She turned back to Lord Wiltshire with what she hoped was a pleasant, interested expression and truly tried to pay attention.
By the time Wiltshire dropped Lucy back at her brother’s townhouse she was growing limp with fatigue from the effort of holding herself in check. She genuinely wished she had never set out to be someone she wasn’t. But would Bluestocking Lucy be nearly as acceptable to thetonas Fashionable Lucy? Not very likely, she scoffed. Perhaps once she was Lady Wiltshire she could allow herself to be whoever she wanted to be.
But would that be an unkindness to the earl? Who did he want for his countess? And what of her late father’s opinion on the matter?
A headache was brewing behind her eyebrows. But with a valiant effort, when Lucy reached the top of the steps, before entering through the door being held open for her by one of the footmen, Lucy turned and waved to the gentleman as he waited for her to enter. She appreciated the chivalrous gesture of his waiting. She knew gentlemen didn’t like to keep their horses standing. Lucy hoped her smile conveyed warmth. It felt to her as though it were slipping a little.
She likely just needed a nap. The Season was not for the weak-hearted, that was for certain. She had been running from event to event for almost three weeks. As a woman used to remaining in the country, it was not a pace she was accustomed to.
Lifting her chin and smiling at the servant as she stepped past him, Lucy refused to accept that she was too weak for the social whirl. She wasn’t too weak for anything. Except perhaps waiting for word from the Northcotts.
Chapter Eleven
Roderick patted Miss Billingsley’s hand and leaned his head closer to listen to her tell him some seemingly never ending story in her low, breathy voice. The story wasn’t very interesting to him and yet here he was straining to listen to it. But that was better than staring at Lucy Scranton like he was a lovesick greenhorn.
He knew Wiltshire was on Lucy’s list to consider but hadn’t thought it had actually come to them truly courting, not yet at the very least. Hadn’t he just discussed the matter with Lucy the previous afternoon? Having seen it with his own eyes, though, he couldn’t deny it. He ought to be happy for her, not seething with unnamed emotions over something that was none of his business.
Because if Lucy was being courted, itwasnone of his business, aside from a very distant degree of pleasure one ought to feel for a happy event happening to an acquaintance. Since he had a potentially serious courtship of his own to pursue, he shouldn’t be concerning himself with what another young woman might be doing.
Perhaps it was actually guilt that was assailing him. He had promised Lucy to report to her as soon as possible about Gil’s investigation. It was likely she would be irritated to see him out with another lady when he ought to have called upon her. Not that she would have been home to receive his call, Rod reminded himself. But he was happy for her, he insisted once more.
Mayhap if he reminded himself of that enough times, he would finally start to believe it. But as a scientist, he felt the urge to probe his hypothesis.
Lucy is not an experiment, he reminded himself, forcing his attention back to the lady by his side. She deserved better than half his attention. He ought to be probing this particular hypothesis, not a different one. Divided attention was never a good thing in any scientific endeavor.
“Have you ever had a chance to visit any centers of education, Miss Billingsley?”
He had meant the question to be a genuine enquiry, so Roderick wasn’t prepared for the laughter it induced. Her laugh was just outside the bounds of what could be considered genteel, but Roderick suspected it might be that she was truly amused by what he had asked.
“I wasn’t jesting,” he added stiffly, but that only served to prolong her mirth.
Finally, waving a hand in front of her face, Miss Billingsley tried to regain control of herself. “I do apologize, Mr. Northcott, I meant you no disrespect, I just wasn’t prepared for such a question. Of course, considering your interests, I shouldn’t have found it such a surprise. Do forgive me.”
In the face of such an apology, Roderick couldn’t hold onto his offence, but he wasn’t quite as inclined toward a romantic interest in the woman. He made an effort to contain his disappointment. He didn’t really have much to say in response to her, though, so she carried on.
“If you were asking if I had ever visited one of the universities, then the answer, of course, is no. In fact, I haven’t even attended any school, not even a finishing school. My parents employed a governess for me and she provided my education at home. That is really much more the thing for noble daughters, don’t you know? Or perhaps, since you don’t have sisters, you might not realize.”
Roderick didn’t appreciate the woman’s condescending tone but held onto his temper by taking a deep breath before replying. “I don’t have sisters by birth, but my brothers have all wed and some of their wives have been remarkably well educated.”
