‘I always thought that they were good people.’
She nodded. ‘We were very sorry to hear the news of your wife, my lord. I lost my mother when I was young and there is nothing anyone can say to take away the pain of a loved one gone, but be assured I do understand at least a part of it.’
‘Thank you.’ He liked her honesty. So many people had skirted around Gretel’s death and barely mentioned it. Certainly they did not quantify loss with pain as Oliver’s wife did or hold his hand tightly as if her warmth might imbue a little hope into the coldness that was so much a part of him now.
His brother said nothing but he could see the question on his face. They would want something more about his wife’s passing.
‘Gretel died in her mother’s arms.’
‘A peaceful death, then.’ Esther’s words were soft.
Wilhelmina St Claire had said the very same thing but today he allowed his brother and sister-in-law the illusion of it. He wondered why he had not done the same with her in the dark kitchen of Elmsworth.
My God, the woman was creeping into his thoughts more and more and it had to stop. He was pleased when they began to walk towards the house.
‘I’d heard on the grapevine that there had been guests at the estate but nothing was said of you being home.’ His brother said this with the reserve which was so much part of their relationship now.
‘You speak, I think, of the visitors last week? Mrs St Claire and her travelling companions, the elderly McAllistair sisters,stayed one night at Elmsworth as Mrs St Claire had been violently ill from eating food at an inn and could not continue on with her journey to London.’
‘Mrs Wilhelmina St Claire?’ Esther said this with surprise.
He nodded.
‘Is she not the most fascinating woman? Every man she ever meets falls at her feet in adoration and yet she does not give an impression of interest in any of them. Did you know she was a widow, my lord?’
‘Phillip. Yes, I had heard that.’
‘Her husband was a leading light in the art of astronomy and was wealthy enough to build a telescope of such proportion it could be used to watch the stars. He discovered quite a few, I think, and named one after her.’
‘So you know her well?’
‘We are acquainted but I would not say I know her well as Oliver and I are so rarely in London these days. I admire her though for she is a rare woman who is both kind and clever and her opinions are well regarded in Society.’
They’d walked up the steps now and into a large room with flowers everywhere.
‘From the garden Esther insists on tending herself,’ Oliver explained, and Phillip could hear both pride and love in the words. His brother was different now, happier, more open. He was amazed at the transformation four years could have on a person, and thought of his own lack of joy.
He had never been particularly happy. He had loved Gretel to the height of his ability but, looking at Esther and Oliver, he suddenly wondered if that had been too little.
Gretel had said as much to him as she had lain dying. She’d said she wished they had met when they were both older and wiser. She had also said that love had many shades and that maybe theirs had been blighted by the problems in their past.
The world tipped slightly and he placed his hand on the nearest wall.
‘Are you well?’ Oliver moved towards him, but the moment of dizziness was gone and Phillip smiled, feeling more himself.
‘I think the sea voyage took more out of me than I realised,’ he gave back, knowing that it was not the case at all. It was just that he wanted to return to Elmsworth, to its silence and its familiarity. He wanted to sit in the quiet of his library with a cognac in his hand and be alone with his ghosts and his sorrows and his what-might-have-beens.
But the next second a tumbling boy child hurtled down the stairs, a fraught-looking woman behind telling him to slow down and remember his manners. Behind her came another servant with a younger girl in her arms.
‘Papa, Papa.’ The little boy tugged at Oliver’s trousers. ‘Is he your brother? He looks like you.’
‘William, say hello to your Uncle Phillip, who has come all the way from America to Hampshire.’
‘Today?’
Esther and Oliver both laughed. ‘No, my darling,’ Esther said and kneeled down to him. ‘Remember we told you that America was a long way from England and you had to travel weeks and weeks on a ship to get there?’
William looked at Phillip with eyes the same shade as his mother’s.
