“And she still swears it’s Darren?”my mom questions me, knowing what threw her into a panic attack the other day when Tank found her.
“Yeah.She’d know him anywhere, Mom.If she says it’s Darren, then I believe her.We all know he was an only child so there’s no way it’s some brother playin’ cruel mind games with Cali.This is Darren fuckin’ with her, and us, for some reason.I’ve been thinkin’ about everythin’ since that day and have no clue what his end game is.Darren has the trainin’ he needs to remain hidden until he’s ready for us to see him.He can go for long periods of isolation and has had a year to put together whatever he’s planned in motion.Kreed and I have been tryin’ to get into his frame of mind and we keep comin’ up with nothin’.
“Master has been goin’ through everythin’ on his computer to figure out how Darren would have faked his death.We’ve contacted the morgue he was taken to and talked to them.They’ve sent over all of Darren’s records.We spend all day goin’ through everythin’ and we’re still no closer to figurin’ this shit out.It makes sense that Darren’s Cali’s stalker though.He has access to the pictures that have been left for her.And he knows what she loves.Yeah, a stalker could find out about her love of butterflies and all animals.They would know about our relationship and how close we are.This all seems a bit more personal though.The rose petals remind us of Darren because the few times he got her flowers, they were roses.Cali can’t stand them and he never remembered that.Honestly, I just want this shit to be done so we can all move on one way or another,” I tell them just before Bryce rushes back into the living room with the largest smile on his face when Maddie screams the second she sees him.
Tank rushes in the room, ready to beat the fuck out of someone until he realizes his ol’ lady screamed because of Bryce.My uncle tries so hard to hold in his laughter, but fails miserably while getting glared at by my aunt.She’ll get her payback on him.
“I’m ready, Unca Caleb,” Bryce announces as I turn my attention back to him and try to forget about everything else.
I focus on doing Bryce’s make-up while everyone else watches me and talks about anything other than what’s going on.We keep the mood light and allow Bryce to lead the conversation for the most part.He goes from talking about school to taking his baby sister trick or treating for the first time.Bryce doesn’t know Rory won’t have fun like him because she’s so little.I’m looking forward to watching her notice everything around her on Halloween night.If she’s awake.Rory has been staying up longer the last few days so it’s been good for Cali.
“Unca, thank you for doing this.Daddy never would have helped me with a costume.I’ve seen the pictures of all of you and heard you talk about this being his favorite holiday.He never helped me or acted like it mattered,” Bryce says, breaking my heart with his crestfallen face as I look up at him.
“You don’t ever have to thank me for this, Bryce.You’re my nephew and partner in crime.I’ll always be here for you and you can tell me anything you want.I’ll help you when you need it and make sure you always know I’m here to love and support you,” I promise him as I pull my nephew into my arms and hug him tight.
Bryce wraps his arms around my neck and holds on tight.He keeps his face away from me so he doesn’t smear his make-up while soaking up the comfort I’m giving him.
“Daddy didn’t love Mommy and me.He always yelled at us when he was home.Mommy tried to pretend she was okay, but I heard her crying at night if I woke up.Daddy didn’t even sleep in the same room as her.He fell asleep on the couch with that yucky drink in his hand.Did I ever tell you about the time he threw his food at Mommy?”Bryce asks me, pulling back from my hug as everything around us stops.
My dad and uncle step up closer to us while Maddie and my mom sit up straighter on the couch.It takes me a few minutes to swallow the lump in my throat with this bomb Bryce is dropping on us this morning.
“No, I didn’t know your Daddy threw food at your mom.What happened?”I ask him while pushing down everything I’m feeling so I don’t show him my anger.
“Mommy spent all day cooking just before you guys left that last time.She made all of Daddy’s favorite foods and even baked him dessert to have after dinner.Even though Rory was still in her belly, she got all dressed up and looked pretty.When Daddy got to the table, he took one bite of his food before throwing his fork down on the table.I remember him yelling at Mom about it being disgusting.When he stood up from his chair, he grabbed his plate and threw it right at Mommy where she sat next to him.Mommy couldn’t duck in time so it hit her in the head.She screamed because it was still hot and the food burned her.Remember when she was wearing make-up?That’s why,” Bryce tells us, his voice wavering as he remembers a time no one else was there to witness.
Kreed and I tried to spend as much time with Darren and Cali when we were home on leave.We both saw our friend changing and knew he took it out on Cali.It was only when others were around that Darren hid that side of himself.He tried so hard to act normal even if he wouldn’t touch Cali the way he used to in front of us.Hell, thinking back, he barely talked to her if he could get away with it.Cali was the one working on their relationship and trying to hold her family together.Darren didn’t give two shits about it.I missed so many things over the years.Maybe if I had looked harder, I would have been able to get Cali away from him sooner.Though, she probably would have turned me down because of the kids.If there’s one thing Cali never wanted, it was for her children to be raised in a broken home.
“I’m sorry you had to see that, Bryce,” Tank finally says when I can’t form any words to respond to my nephew.“Did your Daddy ever hurt you?”
“He yelled at me a lot.I was always too loud while I was playing.And my toys were always in his way.Mommy always got me out of the room when he started yelling.She did that a lot when Daddy was home.We both tried to be good for him.There was one time he grabbed me by the arm.Mommy was in the bathroom so she didn’t see him,” Bryce states, as I freeze completely and stare at my nephew while my heart continues breaking for him and Cali.
“Why did he grab you?”my dad asks him, moving to crouch down next to Bryce since I can’t give him the comfort he needs right now.I’m spiraling and ready to find Darren and tear him apart with my bare hands.
“I was sitting on the floor playing with my bikes.Unca Caleb and Unca Kreed just got me new ones and I was racing like King.One of them looked just like King’s racing bike.Daddy got up to get a new bar and stepped on King’s bike.He broke it and hurt his foot.Daddy started yelling at me really loud because I was in his way.That’s when he grabbed my arms and lifted me off the floor.He held me in front of him and kept yelling at me,” Bryce says, tears forming in his eyes as he tries so hard to hold them in and be so much stronger than he needs to be.
There were a few times Darren talked to us while Cali was pregnant with Bryce.He always said he wanted to be completely different from his own father and how awful he could be to his mom and him.He didn’t want the fighting, yelling, and everything he witnessed growing up.When Bryce was first born, we thought Darren was truly going to be a better dad than his own.He was there day and night when we were deployed for Cali and their son.I watched him change into a better version of himself.Darren read all the books on babies and learned as much as he could.It was maybe six months after Bryce was born when Darren started to change.We rarely saw him holding his son or interacting with him in any way.If Bryce cried, Darren would get annoyed.He couldn’t tolerate anything his son did while Cali took care of him all on her own.
“Is that all Daddy did to you?”Tank asks, stepping up closer to him and resting his large hand on Bryce’s shoulder.
“Yeah.He never hit us.His yelling was bad enough.He was so mean to Mommy when he yelled at her,” Bryce says as I finally shake the horrible thoughts from my mind and focus back on the little boy in front of me.“It was worse when he had that yucky drink all day long.”
Drunk Darren went one of two ways.He was either the life of the party and happy as hell, or he was vicious.There never was anything in between.I’ve seen both sides of him when he’s been drinking and I know Cali would have spent every day crying when she was alone.She’d be wondering what she was doing wrong, how she could change to be better for him, and if she could do anything to stay out of Darren’s way while still doing everything she had to in their house.
“You should have come to me sooner, Bryce.I would’ve stopped Daddy from doin’ that shit to your mom and you,” I finally manage to say while keeping my voice gentle so he doesn’t feel as if I’m yelling at him.“Unca Kreed would have helped you too.”
“I know.Since Mommy wasn’t telling you about it, I thought it was a secret.I didn’t want to make Daddy mad again, so I didn’t tell you,” he answers, using more logic than most adults at such a young age.
“You can always come to us for anything,” my dad speaks up while remaining down at Bryce’s level instead of standing over him.“We will always be here for your mom, sister, and you.Every single one of us.Including the guys from the Wild Kings.You haven’t spent a lot of time with them the way you have us, but they’ll always be there for you because of Tank.Know we’re all here for you forever and always.”
“Okay.Am I ready to go to school now?”Bryce asks, already moving on from the heavy conversation we were just having.
“You’re ready to go,” I tell him, trying to force excitement back in my voice for him to no avail.He’s shattered me and I’m going to have to fill Kreed in on what we were told this morning.He’ll be gutted when he learns exactly what was happening in the house when we weren’t around.
Gathering up Bryce’s backpack and his change of clothes while my mom takes pictures of him, I calm the storm building up inside of me.My dad and Tank head out with me when we leave and follow us on their bikes.Evan will be at Bryce’s school with him for the day.We already cleared it all with the staff because of the latest note Cali got.She’s not the only one being threatened.We’ll keep guys on Bryce when he’s away from the compound and would have pulled him from the school if they didn’t allow us to protect him.I listen as Bryce chatters away on the way to school about how he’s going to scare his teacher when we get there.And how there’s a new boy in his class.That’s something new I’m learning about today.The boy’s name is Maxton and I already know he’ll be Bryce’s best friend.My nephew is treating this boy the same way I did Kreed from the second we first met.He’s repairing my heart with a few words and hearing how excited he is to have a best friend with a new boy in his class.
