Luca and Maysen are both so shy and wouldn’t make the first move on someone they like.They kind of remind me of Caleb and myself.While I was too shy to say anything about my feelings for Caleb, he was confident but unsure if I felt the same way.He didn’t want to ruin our friendship if things went bad between the two of us.I can see Luca feeling the same way Caleb did.If he knows Maysen likes him, it might make it easier for him to send her a message first.
“Oh, I can’t have you do that, Cali.Luca would never be interested in someone like me.I’m too shy and plain looking for a guy like him,” she says, making my heart break because someone has told her that and made her feel that way.
“Maysen, you are a beautiful girl.Any guy would be lucky to have you in their life.However, I have a feeling no one will appreciate you the way Luca will.Once you get to that stage, he’ll love you more than you ever dreamed possible.Luca is slowly growing into a great young man and overcoming his own past trauma.I have a feeling the two of you would be really good together and that’s not something I say lightly,” I tell Maysen honestly as I look at the young girl and wonder who’s hurt her this way.
“Thank you, Cali.I’ll think about it.That’s all I can say right now,” she says, standing and getting ready to go back to work.
I join her as we make our way back to the tables in our section.It’s not long before we’re busy once more and don’t have time to breathe let alone have a conversation with anyone other than our customers.I love being busy though because it makes the day go by faster and I don’t have time to think about anything other than what I’m doing at that moment.
My shift is almostover with and today has been crazy.With the haunted house open and several vendors selling goods in the center of town, people have been coming in the diner for a quick meal before they go about their night walking through town and enjoying the crisp night air.It’s just cool enough out to be comfortable with a hoodie and pair of jeans.Exactly the kind of night I love.When we were younger, this would be the time for a bonfire and laughs shared around the fire removing the chill from the air as memories are made.We did that a lot growing up and those are some of my favorite memories.
Our bonfires were always held at the Phantom Bastards clubhouse.We
never had them at the beach because we could control everything at the compound.Sam and Shy always made sure we had hot cocoa and all the ingredients for s’mores.The guys would compete to see who could eat the most s’mores and the different ways they could make them.I can’t even remember the disgusting things they chose to put between the graham crackers with marshmallows.I always went with the standard chocolate bar, marshmallow, and graham crackers.Every single guy on the compound would put so many different things on their s’more that it became a competition between all the kids.Even some of the girls would join in and try so many combinations.A favorite memory of mine from that time in my life.It was one of the rare times Darren would open up and let everyone see the funnier side of himself.
Tonight is the first night of fall and to celebrate we’re having a bonfire at the compound.My father won’t be home so I’ve already told my mom I won’t be home after school.Tank and Maddie are in town so hanging out with Zoey is my reason for going to the compound tonight.My mom loves Zoey and wouldn’t say a word to me.She might not tell my dad I wasn’t home right after school.It’s a wish I make all the time but it rarely comes true.
Walking behind the clubhouse without going inside, I find the bonfire already lit and surrounded by the kids of the Phantom Bastards MC.Playboy, Sam, Tank, and Maddie are outside as supervisors.They’re sitting farther back than normal since we’re all older this year and they’re trying to trust us more.
“Cali!”Zoey calls out, jumping out of her seat and racing to my side.“I’m so happy to see you.”
“I’m happy to see you, too.It’s been so long since you guys made the trip here.Are your brothers here?”I ask her, looking to find the triplets because they love to create chaos.
“They’re here.Mom sent them inside to gather more supplies.You know how they are.Darren’s been waiting for you to get here,” Zoey says, wiggling her eyebrows because she knows our relationship is still very new.“It sucks you’re not with Caleb though.I always thought you two would end up together.Are you happy with Darren?”
“I am.He’s good to me.We better get over there,” I say, not sure why I feel bad about being with Darren.
Everyone always tells me they thought I’d end up with Caleb.It hurts to hear something I thought would happen too.Instead, I’m with Darren and trying to navigate the newness of our relationship.Pasting on a fake smile, Zoey and I make our way over to the bonfire and I take my seat between Caleb and Darren.They always save me a seat between them.Honestly, I’m surprised Caleb is sitting next to me.Things have been strained with Caleb lately.
“Okay.Tonight we have your standard chocolate bar, gummy worms, peanut butter cups, Oreos, Snickers, and sour gummies.Pick your ingredients and we’ll get the competition started.Cali, I already know you want a chocolate bar for yours.Are you ever gonna try somethin’ different?”Kreed asks me, his face lighting up with laughter because I’m the boring one of the group.
It's chaos as everyone tries to grab what they want for their s’more.Tank and Playboy are laughing while Maddie and Sam are trying to tell everyone to calm down.It becomes even worse when the triplets make their way back outside with the trays of hot cocoa.They’ve also got bags of popcorn and some cider for those of us who want that instead of the cocoa.Just another night with the kids of the Phantom Bastards and Wild Kings.I love every single second of it.
As I clean one of my tables, I happen to glance out the front window and see a man leaning against an older, beat up truck across the street from the diner.My eyes must be playing tricks on me because he looks exactly like Darren.His hair is longer and the guy has more than a five o’clock shadow covering his face, but everything about the guy screams that it’s my husband who is supposed to be dead.The guy is wearing a pair of jeans and a flannel.Darren never wore flannels when we were growing up.He’d wear a hoodie and jeans every day of the fall.There are so many similarities between this guy and Darren that I can’t help but believe it has to be him.Even with the differences I keep telling myself, I can’t believe it’s not him.
Caleb and Kreed carried his body from where he was killed to bring him home to us.There’s no way in hell he would have been able to fake his death with them holding him in their arms for the last time.
“Darren,” I whisper, my voice cracking as tears fill my eyes and it feels as if the heaviest weight is settling on my chest.
My heart starts to race uncontrollably while my breath stalls in my chest.In seconds my vision turns hazy and becomes black around the edges.I’m shaking and it feels as if my knees are about to give out.The man leaning against the truck smirks and it does nothing but make me believe I’m looking directly at my husband and the father of my children.Without thinking, I run from the main floor of the diner and straight into the kitchen.I drop down by the back door and wrap myself in the fetal position while rocking back and forth.
“No, no, no,” I chant over and over again, the words a broken whisper as I try to push the image of Darren out of my head.
It’s a battle of the images I’ve had of Darren over the years and the man across the street.A man I thought I knew more than most other people.Caleb and Kreed would be the only two to know him better than me.To be cruel like this isn’t something I would ever believe Darren capable of.It can’t be him.There’s no way Darren is in Glendale.He’s buried in Benton Falls.A memorial is set up at the Phantom Bastards clubhouse in Benton Falls.This has to be some kind of joke being played by Darren’s parents to make me lose my mind.
“Caliana?”I barely hear my name being called as I let the panic attack take hold of me and get lost in the sea of fear and confusion filling me and battling for dominance.“Caliana, you need to get up.”
I feel my lips moving despite the numbness taking over my body but I have no clue what I’m saying or who I’m talking to.The voice trying to get me to break free of the panic attack is distorted and far away.I think I might be saying Caleb’s name, but I can’t guarantee it.I hardly realize I’m being picked up from the floor of the kitchen and moved.The only reason I do is because I feel as if I’m floating.It’s an odd sensation on top of the numbness and absolute feeling of hopelessness.
There’s a commotion around me I barely register as the panic attack continues to pull me deeper into its hold.My chest now hurts and I can hardly take a small breath of air.If I were to open my eyes, I know I wouldn’t see anything.This is a horrible one.Worse than the one I had when someone broke into my house and moved things around.I need Caleb.I know I need him to break free of this, but I can’t tell the person moving me that’s what I need.Finally, I completely black out and fall limp in the person’s arms.Darren’s image is still floating around my mind instead of the oblivion I desperately want to find so I don’t have to think about who’s outside the diner.
