Prologue
Caleb
SCREAMS OF TERROR soundthroughout the night as rapid gunfire echoes shouts of fear, pain, and rage.Sand blows up surrounding us as the wind decides to pick up, creating a sandstorm that swirls like tornadoes.It’s difficult to see anything around us, making us unsure if we’re shooting at the enemies, our brothers in arms, or innocents.I have a split second to make decisions to keep my team safe and protect the innocent women, children, and men in the danger zone who couldn’t get evacuated in time.
“Sir, what do you want us to do?”Levyn questions through our comms.“We’re takin’ heavy fire and can’t see a fuckin’ thing.Mistakes are gonna be made.”
“Hold your position for now.We can’t do shit until this damn sandstorm goes away.If you’re able to tell an enemy is in front of you, take him the fuck out.Protect the innocent and ensure every member of our team is protected,” I respond, slowly moving forward while paying close attention to my surroundings.Well, as much attention as I can considering I can see maybe six inches in front of my face.
“Sir, are you sure you don’t want us movin’ forward quicker than we have been?”Rex asks, his voice full of the fear we’re all feeling right now.
We’ve been enlisted for eight years now and our team is solid.Most of the time we know what one another is thinking and no words need to be spoken.It’s helped us take out enemies on multiple occasions because of our ability to read one another.That’s also why we’re one of the best teams in the military and are called upon for dangerous missions no one else wants.Our team always goes where we’re needed and we don’t ask questions.Tonight is one time I think we should have asked as many questions as possible before accepting the mission.A feeling deep in my gut is telling me we’re on a fucking suicide mission and all of us won’t be returning home to our loved ones.
I learned to listen to my gut feelings a long time ago.Way before I enlisted in the military with Kreed and Darren.My dad, Playboy, grandpa Slim, and all of my uncles taught me the importance of gut feelings and how they alert us to any possible dangerous situations we might find ourselves in.Especially when we’re not alone.Kreed and I grew up being told this every single day of our lives and have learned to trust when we’re not feeling right about situations we find ourselves in.Tonight, my gut is screaming at me louder than those around us.
War cries now fill the air and I know without a doubt the enemy is running closer to us.Somehow they’re able to see us through the tornadoes of sand.
“Everyone take cover.Right fuckin’ now!”I yell through our comms as I try to find somewhere to hide where no one else is.
“On it,” Kreed responds, as grunts and shouts come from his side of the comms.“Might take a few minutes for me to get somewhere safe.Got enemies too close to move anywhere.”
“Get the fuck out!”I yell, fear thrumming through my body as my best friend tells me he’s surrounded by the enemy.
“Got him,” Darren returns, the sound of him on the move already echoing in my ear.
“D, get the fuck down and stay hidden,” I order him, my voice hard as I crouch down low and see if there’s any break in the sandstorm.
“Not leavin’ Kreed on his own,” D responds as I begin moving toward the last location I saw my best friend.
“Wasn’t plannin’ on leavin’ him alone, D.Makin’ my way to him now.”
Holding my gun in front of me, I quickly head in the last known location of Kreed.I have no clue where Darren was when this shit started so I don’t know what direction he’s coming from.
“I’ve been hit,” D suddenly alerts us, his breath coming out in sharp pants as my heart stops in my chest and I can’t catch my breath.“It’s bad, Caleb.Get to Kreed.”
“Stay with us, D.You’re not leavin’ us behind.Remember, you got a baby girl on the way and Bryce needs his dad.Caliana won’t survive if she learns you aren’t comin’ home with us.Think of your fuckin’ family.I’m on my way to you both now.Kreed, if you’re close, get to him,” I state, my voice void of all emotion as I continue moving forward.
“Caleb, you gotta protect them.Kreed, you too.The two of you have always been close to Cali and she’s gonna need you.Tell my boy who I was and raise my daughter with the fierce protectiveness you’ve always shown Cali.Don’t let them forget me, Caleb,” Darren chokes out and I know he’s about to take his last fucking breath.
“D!Don’t you fuckin’ give up!You’re gonna go home and tell Cali and Bryce all that shit on your own.You hear me?”I demand, waiting for his response over the comms.
Nothing comes.Absolute silence fills the air as the screams and gunfire fade into nothing.Tears fall down my face as I continue to move forward.It’s even more difficult to see as my tears mix with the sand and dirt already covering my face.Our comms go silent as we all try to process listening to one of our brothers taking his last breath.Fuck!The sound of losing someone never gets any easier and this death hits even harder than any before.
D’s favorite holiday was always Halloween.He loved all that scary bullshit and would go all out with decorations and his costumes.Today, the day he takes his last breath and leaves us all behind, is Halloween.He would laugh in all of our faces if he could right now from the irony alone of him losing his life on his favorite holiday.
Jolting awake, it takes me a minute to realize I’m in my room at the clubhouse completely alone and my music has stopped.Shadows dance along the wall and the terror of reliving one of the most difficult moments of my life replays on a loop whether I’m asleep or awake.Running my hands down my face, I get out of bed knowing I won’t sleep again.Not unless I drink until I pass out.Again.
Almost one fuckingyear.That’s how long it’s been since my entire life exploded into a million pieces and everything in the world changed.We lost half of our team in one mission and Darren is one of the men we lost and we’ll never get over the loss of him.Kreed, better known as Link, Caliana, and I grieve the man we lost every fucking day.I can’t get over his death and I know if I’m struggling as bad as I am, it’s so much worse for Caliana.Darren was her husband even if he wasn’t the love of her life.She has a son with him and a daughter on the way.A daughter Darren will never get the chance to meet, hold in his arms, or treat like the princess she already is.He was so fucking excited to meet his daughter.She was all he could talk about and everything he bought while we were stationed away from home was for his children and wife.
The guilt I carry for Darren’s death weighs heavily on my shoulders daily.There isn’t a second I’m awake that he’s not on my mind.That Cali and his son aren’t on my mind.I took Darren away from them and Bryce will have a hard time remembering his dad unless we share our stories of him as he grows up.When it comes to his unborn daughter, she won’t ever get the chance to know her dad.The only way she’ll see him is in the pictures Cali has hung around the house.She’ll never feel him hold her against his chest like he did when Bryce was a baby.Their daughter will only have Kreed and I to protect her and we can only do so much.Darren was fierce when it came to his children and Cali.At least in the beginning he was.
My office is soundproof so no one can hear anything that’s said or done in here.The walls are white and Cali hung up several pictures from the time we became friends until now.There are group pictures of us all at the beach, family pictures, Kreed and I doing various things, and a few of Darren.We all kind of put the pictures of Darren away and only pull them out on certain occasions.Anyway, I have a large desk in the middle of the room with a large chair that’s comfortable as hell.It took me forever to choose one because I knew I’d be spending a ton of time here.My desk is always neat and I rarely leave anything on top of it.The club is into too much shit for me to leave sensitive data around.I’ve got filing cabinets on the back wall behind me and a safe hidden in the wall only the officers of the club know about.The only other furniture in the office is a couch I tend to lay on and two chairs in front of my desk.Very minimal because I don’t need a ton of shit around me while I’m trying to work.
Unlocking the bottom drawer of my desk, I pull out a glass and the bottle of Jack I keep in my office.Growing up, I’ve seen a lot of shit around the clubhouse.Drinking was one of those things.And I’d like to think I got all of my partying and drinking out of the way when I was younger.That might have been true up until that one second changed everything.Now, I drink more often than not and I party like I’m a fucking teenager in high school and not the President of the Feral Dragons MC.It’s all to stay away from the one woman I can’t go to.The one who’s had my heart for as long as I can remember.Link is the only one who knows my secret and he’s worried as fuck about me.I can see it written all over his face as he watches every move I make until I disappear behind closed doors somewhere.
A knock on the door sounds as I finish pouring a glass of Jack and lift it to my lips.I swallow it all in one gulp before looking at the doorway as if it offended me somehow.
“Come in!”I bark out, leaning back in my chair while I wait to find out who’s brave enough to disturb me in the middle of the night.
