“There’s more I want to say. I know I’m just the nanny, but sometimes the line between stepmother and nanny gets blurred, and I’m worried if we make it out of this contract that you’ll always expect me to pick up the slack.”
His brows crash together, and this time it’s in anger. “Justthe nanny? Are you fucking kidding me?”
I shrug.
“First of all, how can you think that after everything we’ve shared? And second, what do you meanifwe make it out? And third, what the fuck do you mean by slack?” He’s yelling, and I guess I pressed a button I hadn’t meant to press.
It’s his insecurities mingling with mine.
“I’m just trying to communicate what I’m feeling,” I say softly.
He blows out a frustrated breath. “I’m sorry. I know you are. And I’m feeling pulled in ten different directions. I don’t mean to take it out on you. I just thought our arrangement was working.”
“It was—back when it was an arrangement. But we’ve crossed lines, and I just want to be clear where my place is in all of that,” I say.
He presses his lips together again and nods. “Give me some time to think about it, okay?”
I nod because what choice do I really have? But the truth is that I don’t really want to give him time to think about it. Now I’m worried he’ll overthink it, and I’ll end up in a worse place than where we started.
CHAPTER 39: Dex Bradley
The Lounge
It’s the worst possible timing for her to bring up coming with me to the lounge.
Theillegalunderground lounge is opening for the first time this weekend. My father expects me to be the liaison who invites the whales down there on Tuesday when I’m there. I can’t have Ainsley tailing me while I’m doing that.
She’s the only woman I want. It probably looks to the general public as if I’m slipping back into old habits, but I’m not. The only woman who means a single damn thing to me is at home raising my kid.
She’s right.
Most of the time, I’m treating her like a nanny, but she’s my wife.
What a strange situation we find ourselves in. How do I differentiate between the two when I’m paying her to do a job? How do I make sure I’m putting in equal time when I simply can’t do that because I’m not home?
The lines are blurring, and I’m starting to fear she’s retreating.
I’m worried she’ll get sick of this and leave me and Jack, and then what the fuck will I do?
On the other hand, what if she stays because of Jack butnotbecause of me? Wouldn’t that be even worse?
There has to be a solution out there, something I’m not thinking of.
Because I don’t even have a goddamn second to think for myself anymore. If I’m not at practice, I’m at the lounge. I get a few hours here and there with Ainsley, but mostly she’s left alone with my kid.
This isn’t the life she was expecting when she came to Vegas, but she got tossed headfirst into it anyway.
She takes the baby out for a walk in the jogger, and I use the opportunity to call my father.
“Are you ready for tomorrow night?” That’s how he answers the call.
I blow out a breath. “I have a problem. I can’t be involved in the underground shit tomorrow night.”
“It’s your first night. Figure out a solution.”
“It’s not that simple,” I say.
“What’s going on?”
