“Dad.” My voice was soft. “I’ve been thinking of going undercover long before last night, but this opportunity presented itself. The cartel and those who work for them, like Duke Hart, are always five steps ahead of the law. If we don’t do something other than relying on informants, we could be chasing these guys for years to come.” I chewed on a hangnail.
“Fallyn, I don’t know.”
“It’s not your decision, Dad. It’s the ATF’s.”
He gave me one of those “are you serious” expressions. “No one in the FBI, ATF, or even DEA would send you undercover knowing what happened to Jason without running it by me. I don’t want to lose another child.”
I didn’t want to die or have him mourn my death. I had plans for the future. I had my master’s in math and had always planned to teach college but had yet to start working on my doctorate, although I was enjoying the ATF more than I’d counted on. I also wanted a husband, kids, and a nice house with two dogs and a cat.
“You can’t always protect me, Dad.”
“A father can try.”
I flopped my head back on the chair. I knew he would react like this. I couldn’t blame him. He was scared. In a way, I was too.
I straightened. “I became an ATF agent because of Jason. Of course you know that. But, Dad, this could be our opportunity to finally put away the bad guys, take guns off the streets, and prevent a war. Through all that, what if I could find out what happened to Jason? Wouldn’t you sleep better? Don’t you want closure?”
“Not if it means your life,” he said.
I closed my eyes briefly, rubbing the tightness in my chest. That was a definite possibility. “But I risk my life every day as an agent. You did as well in the FBI. Mom worried about you constantly. I did too.” I stifled a yawn. The loss of adrenaline and several drinks last night were catching up to me.
I knew this would be a hard sell. “Give me your blessing to go undercover, and when I come out, I’ll leave the ATF and teach like I intended to do before Jason died.”
He frowned. “You’re enjoying the ATF, I thought.”
“I like the action, but I love you.”
“Come here.” He patted the cushion beside him.
I skirted the coffee table and curled up against him.
He draped his arm around me. “I love you dearly. I want to see you happy.” He kissed me on the head. “I also want closure on Jason. It’s been eating at me, and I’ve gone through Jason’s files, the autopsy, and every piece of information available multiple times. You’re right. He would never commit suicide.”
Tears escaped as I listened to the pain in his voice. “I miss him, Dad. I’m gutted that I didn’t have a chance to see him or spend more time with him.”
Dad squeezed me. “It’s a cruel world out there, sweetheart. I would sleep better knowing you weren’t risking your life. I also know that feisty and determined side of you. You’re going to find answers with or without my approval.”
“It would be easier with your blessing,” I said honestly.
He rubbed my arm. “The ATF deputy director has given the thumbs-up for the op. He’s suggesting Agent Griffin.”
I shrugged out of his hold. “Are you serious? Why Bruce? And please don’t tell me the deputy director thinks a woman can’t do the job because I know he believes women should be barefoot and pregnant.”
Dad chuckled. “Agent Howard and I believe you’re the better choice.”
I leaned away, eyeing him with confusion. “Youthink I am? Why?” I was bursting at the seams with pride that he thought I would be good for the job.
He’d been holding his coffee cup in his free hand, and he set it on the end table beside his half-eaten scone. “Because you’re stalwart and persistent, and you have a purpose. I’m not saying Agent Griffin couldn’t do the job, but you’re more perceptive, and your gut always leads you in the right direction.”
My dad always told me he believed in me, but it meant more at this juncture in my life. He wasn’t treating me like his baby girl either.
I held his hand. “Thank you for saying all that. Does that mean I’m in?”
“Not yet. We need to discuss a few things.”
I leaned my elbow on the back of the couch, facing him, prepared to argue if I had to.
“As a woman going undercover, there are certain ways you can befriend Hart that someone like Agent Griffin can’t.”
