“It certainly fucking feels like it. I thought we were past this, after last night I thought we were on the same page. But the second you’re confronted in the daylight you lie to your best friend. Rather lie than admit you love fucking her brother?”
“Christ, Ben. You make it sound dirty.”
“I feel fucking dirty.”
“Well that makes two of us. I panicked, okay? The way she framed it. I just feel like…” she trails off.
“Like what?”
“Like I fucked up. Royally.”
“So I’m a mistake now?”
She doesn’t answer. Just stares out into the wilderness beyond the river looking miserable, and I can feel my chest caving in, a black hole forming where my heart should be.
“Well, I have to say it is a royal fuckup considering how many times you repeated the same mistake. Over and over. Begging me for it. I mean, just last night, how many times was it?” I ask bitterly.
“Ben!” she hisses my name, and her eyes look glassy like she might cry, and it pisses me off. BecauseIwant to cry and fucking scream at the same time for her to stop jerking the fucking chain around. I almost hope she’ll make up her mind already and call it quits. Put me out of my misery. I can’t take anymore of having her in half measures and sneaking around.
“You need to figure out what you want, Violet. Because at this point you’re lying to everyone, including yourself.”
Her phone dings with a message and she looks down at it.
“Seriously?” I mutter.
“It’s Nora,” she says sharply before she opens the message. Her eyes skim over it and then all the color drains out of her face. “Oh my god.”
“What?” I say, taking several steps toward her to close the gap between us because despite how angry I am with her, I’m honestly a little nervous she’s about to pass out and fall into the river.
She doesn’t answer. She just holds out the phone for me to read the text Nora sent her.
Nora
Your mom is looking for you because she has a surprise. Doubt you’re going to like it. Cameron is here
“You have got to be fucking kidding me!” I bark out a harsh laugh.
Her fingers go over her lips and she fiddles with the mug in her hand. Her eyes are wild and distant, full of panic. I stare at her for a beat, trying to even make sense of how Cameron would be here. Why her mom would have him come up given they called things off months ago.
“Do they know you and Cameron broke up?” I ask sharply, the second the realization pops into my head.
“They knew we had a rough patch a few months back and that he’s been overseas,” she mumbles, not looking at me.
“But you never told them you called the engagement off. That things are over between the two of you.” I’m half accusing her and half explaining to myself what I should have figured out before now, because I’m an idiot. “No wonder you don’t want them to know about me. Because they still think you’re marrying the doctor!”
“I was going to tell them this weekend, before we told them about us.”
“Were you? Or did you just tell yourself that you would to ease your conscience?”
“I was going to tell them. I’m still going to tell them as soon as I can think straight.”
“Don’t bother. I’m done. Tell your family, don’t tell them. Hell, fucking marry him or don’t. I don’t care anymore. I’m done being your secret. I deserve more than that. I deserve someone who wants to be seen holding my hand. Who I don’t have to beg to kiss me in public. And you deserve to be with someone you’re proud of. Someone you want to tell your parents about and have as your date when you go home to see your family.”
“Ben, please.” Her face looks pained, and her eyes are watery, and I want to give in. To give her one more chance, but I can’t.
“No. No more,Ben, please, orBen, please fuck me, orBen, please don’t tell anyone.” I start to walk away.
“He knows about us, remember?” she calls after me, panic still in her voice.
