“Huge fan, man.” Topher holds out his hand and Ben shakes it, only glancing at him briefly before his eyes return to me.
“What do you want to drink Ben?” Jake looks back at Ben.
“Hey, let me cover your drinks for that win, yeah?” Topher asks, doubling down on his fanboy moment.
“And that has you blushing?” One of Ben’s eyebrows goes up, his smirk turning smug.
I give him a look, one that I hope reads as a desperatecut me some slack, this is awkward all around.But he either doesn’t see or doesn’t care because then he leans in. He’s quieter than before, but still loud enough that Jake might be able to hear him since he’s standing on that side, and he has to whisper loud enough to be heard over the music.
“And I embarrass you? Or do the things I do to you embarrass you, Violet?”
“You don’t embarrass me, at all,” I say tersely, giving him a meaningful look to knock it off.
“Prove it.”
“What?”
“Prove. It.”
“We’re in public. Half your team is here.”
He nods and pulls his lower lip up between his teeth as he smiles, and his dimples pop. He looks so gorgeous, it physically hurts. He leans over me, towering over me really given that he’s standing, and I’m sitting on the bar stool. His fingers thread through my hair and tilt my face up to his.
“Ben…” I whisper as his lips ghost over my own.
His eyes drift up from my lips to meet mine, dancing with mirth, and I could just tilt my head the slightest bit and have his lips pressed against mine. I want to, so badly.
But a low wolf whistle out of Jake breaks the spell, and I remember we’re sitting in the middle of a football bar, just this side of campus. Half his team is here, and the whole bar is celebrating him tonight which means all eyes are on us. And that is bad enough but worse yet, anyone could take a picture. Post it to social media. His mother, his sister, and everyone else could see.
So instead I laugh, nervously, awkwardly.
“Very funny, Ben,” I say and push my hands against his chest to put distance between us.
His eyes darken and his dimples fade, as he pulls away, but he gives a little smirk.
“Just testing to make sure you haven’t fallen in love with me. I know that’s a problem for some women who spend too much time around me.” He winks, and then looks up at Jake like he didn’t just say one of the most dickish things imaginable.
TWENTY-TWO
Ben
I takethe shot and the beer Jake’s holding out, grinning at him like nothing is wrong when inside I feel sick from Violet’s rejection. I chug them both, chasing the shot with the beer he’s handed me. He laughs and slaps me on the back.
“Guess we need another.” Jake holds up a finger to the bartender who smiles at me.
“On the house tonight for you since you won us the game.” She starts pouring another one and flashes me a smile.
Fairly fucking certain if I just publicly begged this woman to kiss me, she would have stripped down to do it if I asked nicely enough. I glance at Violet out of the corner of my eye. Her cheeks are still bright red, and presumably I’ve embarrassed her in front of her friends. Which is rich, really, given that the dude was sitting there tripping over himself to talk to me and buy me a beer.
Jealousy swarms in my gut, wondering if this was just her worried about people seeing us together or if she might actually like this guy and not want him to know she has a friend with benefits on the side. One I can guaran-fucking-tee he would be jealous of, given his behavior so far.
I hate that she has this kind of spell over me. I hate that I care so much more than her. And most of all I hate the fact that I put myself in this position by pursuing her, seducing her, knowing full well that she had major reservations the entire time.
* * *
I haveno idea exactly how much time has passed, but at this point the heady mix of our win, the touchdowns, and being back with my boys again on the field and off it, makes me almost numb enough to forget about Violet’s dismissal for a few minutes. At least enough that one of my old hookups is sitting in my lap, laughing and running her fingers through my hair as she tells me some story about something that happened at the game. I have no idea what she’s saying, but I know it feels good to have someone that isn’t trying to keep me a dirty secret buried in the basement, or in this case, the next room.
“Benny Boy, I love ya man, but Mac and I need to start heading out. We’ve got an insanely early flight in the morning.”
